Teen Detectives Inc.

"We didn't go looking for anybody's gold, because we know there can't possibly be any!"

2011-07-26T19:36:00.003+12:00

Trixie Belden #10
The Marshland Mystery

The detectives:
- most you will remember from their last case
- the Bob-Whites of the Glen do have a couple of new additions, though - Diana "Di" Lynch, and Dan Mangan, both kids Trixie and co. helped in previous mysteries.
- Di is another beautiful rich girl, because you can only have one tomboy per group
- Dan is the nephew of the Wheelers' groom, Regan, an ex-New York gang member (or something. There's passing references to his menacing leather jacket.)

The Case:
The story begins with Trixie, Honey, and Di on their way home from school, making plans to go to a nearby swamp and collect plants for their biology teacher. There plans fall over straight away, when Mart informs them that none of the boys will be available to drive them, and the swamp has been paved over to make a new highway. I feel that in a more contemporary book, this would be an important Lesson about Disturbing the Ecosystem, but in this book, the girls just decide to bike to a different marsh instead.

Trixie hurries home, intent on asking Brian about what plants she'll be able to gather, but her and Mart are both distracted when they arrive by a little scene playing out among the Beldens' blooming crabapple trees - a slight, young blonde girl having her picture taken and an interview done. The young girl is Gaye, a famous violinist, staying with the Wheelers next door, but before any proper introductions can be made Trixie's dog, Reddy, starts chasing Gaye's pet poodle, who is hilariously named Mr Poo.

Trixie races after the two animals, and finally succeeds in calling Reddy to heel just in time to stop him from attacking a deadly copperhead snake. She triumphantly returns Mr Poo to his owner, who turns out to be a bit of a spoilt brat, and orders Trixie out of her sight. For some reason, no one tells her off. Her brothers sympathise with Trixie, although she notices that Brian seems to be a little sorry for Gaye, too, and she can't work out why. It's because in juvenile fiction spoilt brats are to be pitied and their parents condemned, Trixie. Just roll with it.

The expedition to the marsh gets off to a shaky start when Di can't make the trip, but she insists that Trixie and Honey go without her. Mr Belden tells Trixie the marsh's legend - that a pirate captain (of course) buried his treasure there, which naturally piques Trixie's interest. meanwhile, her mother guilt trips Trixie when she calls Gaye a "spoilt brat". At the Wheeler's, Trixie shows Jim the very helpful map Brian has drawn up for her and Honey, and Gaye appears, wanting to go with them. To Trixie's dismay, Honey says she can, if she gets permission, but as Gaye goes off she reassures Trixie, saying that Gaye is supposed to practice all morning. Being somewhat of a children's books aficianado, I can say with some certainty that Gaye is going to follow them uninvited. Then Honey and Trixie leave - only to realise they've left the map behind.

They press on regardless, and manage to find their way to the marsh anyway. They find the remains of the burned down mansion - and a mystery. The mansion's old rose garden appears to have been weeded recently - by a woman, no less, judging by the footprints. Further down the road, they find a little old cottage which appears to be in use, so they stop to ask for some water. They're greeted at the window by a ghostly hand which seems to be warning them off, and the two girls suddenly freak out and go running.

They quickly calm down and set to work picking herbs and flowers until the sky clouds over. They eat a picnic lunch and head home again, noticing a small boy's bike left in a ditch near the cottage as they pass it. The boys drive past and pick them up, and they head back to the Wheelers, only to find the police there - Gaye has gone missing! Totally called it. Poor Gaye - she fits both the "spoilt kid" trope and the "over-worked child genius" trope, she never had a chance.

Gaye's aunt, Miss Crandall, is worried at the thought of Gaye doing something that might hurt her hands and ruin her musical ability, but apparently not about the fact her niece is roaming the countryside all alone. In contrast, none of the BWGs are particularly worried about Gaye's disappearance, thinking that she'd probably reappear as soon as she was hungry. But when Trixie goes to retrieve Brian's map from their clubhouse, she finds it's missing. She thinks that Gaye might have taken it, but is sure that the young girl could never have walked that far. However, when she returns home, she finds that Bobby's bike is missing - he left it at the Wheeler house when his brakes started acting up. Trixie dashes to the Wheelers' and finds Bobby's bike missing, as she expected. Determined that the bike she saw earlier was Bobby's, and that Gaye stole it, she takes one of the horses and heads back out towards the cottage. She remembers seeing that the barn door was slightly ajar, and thinks that Gaye might have hidden inside.

Trixie borrows Lady, one of the Wheelers' horses, and heads back to the marsh. She rescues the abandoned bike, and heads into the barn after she's sure she hears Mr Poo (which is still hilarious) barking. Gaye doesn't appear, and the previous ghostly figure appears again, although this time it is less ghostly and more doddering old lady, who runs Trixie off her property. Trixie's still convinced that Gaye is there, even moreso when she finds one of the rhinestones from Mr Poo's (still hilarious) collar. She thinks that gaye must be hiding inside the old woman's house, and decides to ride back home to tell someone with a bit more authority than herself.

Naturally as soon as she gets home she runs into Jim and Brian, the two most sensible BWGs. They convince Trixie she doesn't have enough evidence to go to Miss Crandell - who is likely to panic, anyway - but agree to help her investigate a little more. Brian, who wants to be a doctor, tries out his "bedside manner" on the cottage's owner, and the resident - Miss Rachel Martin - becomes quite agreeable. She denies having seen Gaye or Mr Poo, and becomes quite agitated when Jim suggests that Gaye may have wandered into the marsh.

The cops suddenly show up with Miss Crandall, having been given a tip-off from an eaesdropping journalist that Gaye may be there. The sergeant doesn't believe Miss Rachel could possibly have kidnapped Gaye, because she's respectable, ie her family used to own a shit-ton of land, and we all know the old rich never commit any crimes. He talks to Miss Rachel all the same, and this time she gets hung up on Gaye's golden curls, making cryptic remarks about "Emily".

Then Gaye comes out of the shed, where she's been hiding the whole time. She accuses Miss Rachel of locking her in, but Trixie, who dislikes Gaye more than she finds Miss Rachel creepy, angrily accuses her of lying. The slimey journalist accuses the BWGs of making up the whole thing just to get tickets, although the sergeant tries to convince the kids to just shrug off the insult. They do - but the journalist doesn't. He publishes an article all but actually making his accusations in print. He also says that Miss Rachel thought that Gaye was the ghost of her dead sister, Emily. It turns out that Emily drowned in the - wait for it - marsh, the same night that Miss Rachel's family mansion burned down, hence her reaction to Gaye's looks and her fear of the marsh.

Trixie starts getting over her bad feelings towards Gaye when the two of them bond over Mr Poo (still funny). She goes further towards befriending her when she suggests that she, Honey and Di give up their horse-ride to visit Miss Rachel with Gaye, in her chauffeur-driven car. Gaye opens up a little to the other girls, until Di is silly enough to bring up Gaye's music, at which point she brats out again. However, the girls enjoy their visit, especially when Miss Rachel shows them her bejewelled brass box, an antique she inhereted which originally came from China.

However, back at home, there's bad news. The council has had plans to drain the marsh for some time, and put in a new road - straight through Miss Rachel's cottage. Thanks to the newspaper article, people are now saying that Miss Rachel is obviously going senile, and should be put into a Home (which, again, is apparently *particularly* terrible because her family were once 'respectable', ie rich.) At first it seems like she's not going to have to move for some time - but the journalist, and I use that word lightly, publishes another article about the legendary lost Martin treasure, and two men descend on Miss Rachel's property, digging up her land. She fires a couple of warning shots at them, and when the council hears of it - that's it, her time is up.

The BWGs can only think of one way to help Miss Rachel - find a way to make her some money, so that she can rent her own place and sell quilts and rugs, as she did when she was younger. Trixie hits upon the idea of Miss Rachel selling off all her extraneous furniture, and the BWGs hustle to get everything ready for a sale. Miss Rachel loves the idea, and is extremely grateful - she even gives Trixie the brass box as a birthday present.

Gaye wants to tag along - but isn't allowed to at first. She accuses the BWGs of trying to find the treasure, and says that if she found it she'd give it to her aunt, so she'd never have to play violin again. Still, she apparently talks her aunt into letting her go, and falls asleep on Miss Rachel's couch while the others are helping to pack and label Miss Rachel's herbs. As it starts raining, Trixie goes in to check on her - and she's gone. She has, of course, gone in search of the treasure.

Trixie runs off in search of her at once, worried that she might be trapped in the marsh. And Mr Poo finally turns out to be good for something other than having a hilarious name - he leads Trixie to the old, ruined mansion, and down to the cellar. Gaye has tripped and smacked her head, and is lying in rising water. Thanks to Mr Poo (still giggling) Trixie rescues her before she drowns. When her aunt hears about what has happened, she promises that she'll take Gaye on a long holiday, so that they can learn to be a real family. How sweet.

The weather means the sale is the flop, and Miss Rachel resigns herself to moving into a Home. But this is a children's book and that's not going to happen. What does happen is that Trixie polishes her brass box, finds it's actually made of gold, and it's worth enough money that Miss Rachel can buy a shop and a small house. Trixie turns fourteen, and everyone lives happily after until the next book.

Case Notes:
- This... isn't really a mystery, is it? I mean, if there had actually been a treasure and Trixie had found it, it kind of would have been. But this is just a story about an old woman getting turfed out of her home, and a young girl who is unhappy, and Trixie just happens to be able to help them both.
- There's a bit of romantic tension between Trixie and Jim, and it's cute. He bought an "inexpensive" bracelet for her, and Honey and Di tease Trixie about it, making her blush.
- Again, Trixie and her brothers' relationship feels very real to me. Trixie and Mart, especially, spend a lot of time sniping at each other without their being any real dislike there.
- Poor Di and Dan, they keep getting conveniently left out of the plot. I guess seven is an awful lot of people to include in a fairly simple mystery, but it could be Trixie's brothers or Jim who are left out occasionally.
- A new word! For her first marsh visit, Trixie wears brogans. Not to be confused with bogans.
- Gaye is basically never called on acting like a brat - at the same time, she's never allowed to have any fun, and doesn't seem to enjoy her music at all. In real life she would grow up to be a bitter and unpleasant woman, but this being a children's book everyone realises she's just lonely and tries to befriend her.
- When Miss Rachel first mentioned that Gaye looked like Emily, I had a moment where I thought she'd kidnapped her because she thought she actually was her sister. But Trixie Belden mysteries are generally at least a little more believable than that.
- The slimy journalist, Paul Trent, does everything he can to make trouble for Trixie and Miss Rachel, just because one of Trixie's brother's annoys him. I know it's usual in these books for adults to be some kind of enemy for the teen protagonist, but it comes across kind of creepily - a guy with power trying to get even with a kid and an old lady.
- Trixie's cloyingly sweet younger brother, Bobby, decides he's in love with Gaye and talks about her non-stop. Trixie feels jealous, but I'm not sure why. If he were my younger brother I'd quite happily lose him in a marsh.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2011-02-06T12:10:00.002+13:00

I've put off reading the new Nancy Drew: Girl Detective series for the longest time. I freely admit that part of the reason was that I don't really want to read about Nancy in a world with cellphones and web 2.0; I was also less than impressed when I read synopses of some of the plots. Oh, and the first person narrative is excruciating.

However, when I found that as well as new Nancy Drew books and new Hardy Boys books, there were also going to be new Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys crossovers books, I... may have wavered a little. Only enough to buy a second-hand copy of their third super mystery, Club Dread, mind you, and I'll write it up properly in my next post. Meanwhile, here are some musings on the more noticeable changes in the series.

Frank and Joe aren't just detectives - they work for a nation-wide teen detective agency, founded by their father.
Their mother doesn't know that they're detectives any more, which just seems terrible to me. It basically sets up the household as the men having a major secret from the women.
Aunt Gertrude now has the more modern moniker, Aunt Trudy. It was difficult to tell if she is still the waspish maiden aunt, though, since she only had one appearance in this book.
Frank and Joe's personalities have basically been built on from their 1980's Casefiles series. Joe is the more fun-loving, flirtatious guy; Frank is more serious, even dorky, and really shy around girls.
Interestingly, while in the original crossover books had Nancy crushing on Frank and constantly torn between him and Ned, here Frank is the one with the crush. It's nice to have the romantic tension on the boy's side, and it also means Nancy doesn't seem like she's entertaining thoughts of two-timing her boyfriend.
...although Ned didn't seem to get any mention at all in this book. He does appear in the first Super Mystery, Terror on Tour, though, so I guess he's around somewhere.
Bess is no longer the chubby comic relief! It would be nice to say that now she's a overweight character who is meant to be taken seriously, but instead she has super-model good looks and is an expert mechanic. She's still very interested in boys and fashion, but I resent that she's had to lose weight to stay in the series.
George is still a tomboy, of course, and now she's bascially an expert hacker.
Finally, Nancy is clearly meant to be a more rounded character than her previous incarnations, which seems to have been done by making her ocassionally forgetful and unable to run in high heels. OK! She is, however, still very intelligent, and very capable. If it wasn't for the very irritating first person narrative I'd almost be convinced to read her series.

"There's no reason why women detectives shouldn't be even better than men."

2010-12-26T15:50:00.001+13:00

Trixie Belden #3
The Gatehouse Mystery

The detectives:
- Trixie Belden is the only daughter of the Beldens, and having two older brothers has made her into quite the tomboy. Although she's often teased for having her imagination run away with her, she can usually spot a mystery before anyone else can.
- Honey Wheeler is Trixie's best friend, a poor little rich girl. Unlike other "girly" girl characters in mystery series, Honey is just as happy as Trixie to plunge into adventure.
- Jim Frayne is Honey's adopted brother, and resident Alpha Male - although that doesn't mean he's always right. Trixie and Honey rescued him from a cruel step-father in a previous book.
- Brian and Mart Belden, Trixie's older brothers, introduced for the first time in this book. They're fairly interchangeable at this point.

The Case:
The book opens with Trixie writing a letter to her brothers at camp, which serves as a recap to the two previous books. This is handy, as I haven't read the two previous books. Basically, first the Wheelers moved next door, and then Trixie and Honey found Jim. Trixie waxes lyrical about how wonderful Jim is, but she also waxes lyrical about how wonderful Honey is. Those teen years can be confusing.

Trixie and Honey decide they're going to explore an old cottage they found on the Wheeler's property. Trixie has to take her little brother, Bobby, with her - he's too young to be left alone, and her mother is busy bottling fruit. Bobby races off into the cottage before either of the girls can stop him, trip over and cuts his knee. They take him to the Wheeler's groom, Regan, to get his cut seen to, and then go back to the cottage to make sure it wasn't an old nail that he hurt himself with.

It wasn't a nail. It was a diamond.

The girls realise that the diamond must have been dropped fairly recently, and Trixie immediately hits on the idea of jewel thieves. She demands that Honey doesn't tell anyone, but just hide the diamond for now, so that they can "solve the mystery of how it got into the cottage" themselves. She also thinks they should dig for more buried treasure, despite Honey pointing out that there was unlikely to be any more. They both dig, though - and while they're digging, Trixie thinks she hears someone in the thicket nearby, listening in on them. The thicket's full of poison ivy, though, so she doesn't want to investigate. The girls find a footprint in the cottage that has obviously been recently made, and Honey starts to believe Trixie's theory about jewel thieves. Then they *both* hear a twig snapping outside, and Trixie darts outside to try and find whoever was listening - running right through the poison ivy herself.

The Wheelers live quite far from town, and have been having problems with transport, so they decide to hire a chauffeur. At the same time, their gardener quits, so they need a new one. The day after fidning the diamond, they have a new chauffeur, Dick Nolastname. Dick seems really friendly at first, and even gives Bobby two quarters. But when Regan goes to lift his bag for him he freaks out, and when Miss Trask, the housekeeper, tells him his room will be above the garage, not in the house, he gets angry again. They've also hired a new gardener, Nailor, who showed up without any references. Trixie and Honey are still more interested in their mystery than in staffing problems, so they go back to the cottage to look for clues. They find footprints in the cottage and realise there must have been two men in the hut, not just one. Outside there are more footprints, and tiremarks, and Trixie "deduces" that while there were two men originally, only one - who must have rubber heels and a bad case of poison ivy - was listening to them in the thicket.

Bobby has spent the day with Dick and absolutely adores him. He accidentally tells Trixie a whole bunch of things that Dick said were meant to be "see-cruds" (secrets) - that he bought the Wheelers' two dogs bones, and that he had Bobby show him right around the property, including Honey's windows. Creepy. He also tells Trixie that Dick's afraid of horses, although Trixie finds that a little hard to believe. After dinner that evening he carries a glass jar of frogs to show off to his new best friend, but trips over and breaks it. Dick makes Trixie clear the glass up, telling her its her fault that the glass broke because she wasn't looking after her brother, and that she's too busy palling around with a rich girl to do any work. Then he stands there and watches her. Even creepier. It's pretty clear that Dick has latched on to Bobby as a way of getting easy information about the Wheelers and the Beldens. He makes me feel like I need to go scrub my skin off in order to feel clean again.

Trixie, not being an idiot, suspects Dick. Still, she feels like she doesn't have enough proof and can't tell anyone about her suspcions. So she comes up with a plan - as she is staying the night with Honey, she'll stay up late in case Dick tries to creep into Honey's room. Trixie drinks hot coffee and has a cold shower to try and stay awake, but she falls asleep anyway. She wakes up to hear someone opening Honey's bedroom door. She gives a yell and chases a dark figure, waking up everyone else in the house in the process, but the figure escapes. Trixie tells the others that she just had a nightmare, but Jim doesn't believe her for a second. She reluctantly tells him about the diamond, and her suspicions, but Jim tells her it can't be Dick - he had a letter of recommendation from a friend of Mr Wheeler.

Trixie's two older brothers, Mart and Brian, return home from camp. Unlike the responsible Jim, they would rather solve the mystery than turn the diamond over to the police, and Jim capitulates. He even suggests that he and Honey change rooms, so that the prowler won't find her. They scoff at the idea of Trixie and Honey becoming real detectives though. Mart and Brian also meet Dick, who is now sporting a black eye. Dick claims he was kicked by a horse when he tried to help Regan out with grooming - despite the fact that Regan is having his day off, and the horse didn't need grooming. Trixie wonders whether Dick got into a fight - but Mart suggests he could even have been smacked by the Wheeler's screen door while fleeing the house the night before.

Then, shock, horror! Honey realises the she's lost the diamond! She took it out to show it to the boys in the morning, and now it's missing. The likelihood of these kids actually putting the diamond down somewhere and forgetting about it seems pretty slim, but I guess they had to add tension to the plot somehow. The kids panic for a while, and then Bobby mentions that he found a big, pretty stone in the grass that morning. Good news! Except that he's put it somewhere and forgotten about it. Bad news! The gang try and find out everywhere Bobby's been since finding it, and rush around to see if they can find it. Finally, Trixie remembers that Bobby loves boxes (?). Honey checks her jewelry box and... there it is. Those two chapters were the biggest waste of my life.

So the kids decide that the diamond needs another hiding place. Mart goes to hide it in Brian's old riding boots, but they've been packed away. So instead he finds an sewing kit that a misguided aunt gave Trixie - she's never touched the thing - and hides the diamond inside the pin cushion. Then, worried that Bobby will take it upon himself to destroy the pin cushion, they switch it for one of Mrs Belden's, one that looks exactly the same.

The Wheelers have hired some horses so that the gang can all go riding together. While out for an evening ride, they meet Mr Lytell, the local shopkeeper and local gossip. He tells them he saw a car parked by the Wheeler's cottage the night before Trixie and Honey found the diamond. He also heard raised voices, which works with Trixie's theory that a couple of crooks fought, one leaving in the car and one getting left behind.

Dick is late back from his day off, not arriving until the next morning. Coincidentally, the planned trap for the diamond thief - the room switch - doesn't work. Jim maintains that Dick is an unlikely candidate for their criminal, because of the letter of recommendation, although Trixie suddenly wonders what time the mail was collected that day. When Dick does turn back up, his black eye has receded somewhat - but he's covered in a poison ivy rash. Regan is pissed off that he's been doing Dick's share of the driving, and Dick seems to be in an all-round bad mood - except to Jim and Honey, who he is ever-so-nice to. He seems to be genuinely contrite that he missed out on giving Jim a driving lesson, but Trixie isn't convinced. I hope for her sake that she's right about him being the bad guy, or she is going to get into some serious trouble over her attitude. Anyway, Dick's absolutely determined he's going to give Jim a driving lesson that afternoon.

Trixie explains to Honey that she thinks that Dick stole a letter to Mr Wheeler from his friend and simply forged his signature. She shows her how easy it's done with a piece of carbon paper. As an aside: carbon paper is *totally cool*, and I am sad that it doesn't really exist any more. Then they notice something: the jewelry box, which was left in Honey's old room to try and catch the thief, is gone. ...Because Miss Trask found it, and moved it. Sigh!

They all take the night off from sleuthing to go to the movies in town. Jim has his driving lesson and is meant to meet them there - but he doesn't. Dick turns up and says that Jim's going to have a haircut and grab a hotdog for dinner, even though, as Trixie points out, Jim hates the local hotdog stand. She's also surprised he didn't call to let Miss Trask know the change of plans.

When Jim doesn't turn up at the movies, Trixie gets really worried. She tries calling the manor, but there's no reply. In the intermission, she runs out to get a taxi back to the Wheeler's. She finds Dick, hunting for the missing diamond. He's already knocked out Jim during their driving lesson and left him in the forest. He's about had enough of Trixie too. But! Luckily! Jim bursts in with Regan (who has a gun) and that's it for dirty Dick.

So Dick and his friend had done a bit of burgling, but when they stopped at the Wheeler's cottage for the night they fell out while dividing the loot. Dick knocked out the other guy and drove away; only afterwards did he realise that there was a diamond missing. Hiding in the thicket, he heard Trixie and Honey talking, and forged a letter to get the chauffeur job to try and get it back. So Trixie was right about almost everything. More importantly, there's reward money for the diamond. Hoorah!

Case Notes:
- Bobby is pretty excruciatingly annoying, in that way that young child characters always are. He always mishears words - like "blimpse" for "glimpse" - which I guess is meant to show his age. It just makes me think he needs a hearing test.
- How do the girls know it was a diamond Bobby cut himself on? Honey's father has taught her how to spot fake diamonds, and this one's definitely real. OK.
- The characters in this book are way more rounded than most of the teen detective books I've been reading. Jim is the only one who really fits into a "type", being the responsible male, but he's not even the eldest, and he's actually wrong some of the time.
- ...Having said that, I found Brian and Mart pretty interchangeable - or at least, not distinct enough to remember which was which. They have a nice relationships with Trixie though, alternately teasing her and being affectionate.
- This is the book in which the Beldens and the Wheelers form their club - the Bob-whites of the Glen. The Bob-Whites appear in most of (all?) of the Trixie Belden books from now on, and slowly grows in numbers.
- The gang speak such fantastic slang. "Gleep!" "Honey is waiting to tell you the latest dope."
- Seriously, Bobby is sooooo annoying. Urgh.
- There's a running gag that Trixie hates it when her brothers use big words. From an adult's perspective it's pretty eye-rolling, considering that I wouldn't consider most of the words particularly difficult. But then, I am 24, not 8.
- The Bob-Whites all agree that they have to earn money for the club kitty - Honey and Jim, too. Honey is super excited at the thought of earning a wage. Honey, from one working girl to another: it's not the great.

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part Three.

2010-10-31T21:35:00.007+13:00

Thrilling conclusion to our three part mini-series! Hold onto your hats!!!

Frank and Joe drop Nancy off at the hotel, then conveniently forget they agreed that they were all working together so that they can return to the castle. Then! A bat appears! Spooooky! As they walk around in the castle's caverns, a certain pale-handed bachelor begins to follow them around. Then, just as he's about to reach out and grab Joe, Joe... walks away. This dude has to be the world's least committed vampire.

The next morning, Frank, Nancy, Joe and Bess go for a stroll around town to find that people are hanging up wreaths of garlic all over the place. Worst. Christmas decoration. Ever. The four of them decide that Allison Troy is still the best clue they have to the missing paintings, so while he's singing Joe searches the trunk of his car, and Nancy and Frank search his room. Joe finds nothing, but Nancy finds a briefcase stuffed with what I assume is some kind of thieving equipment.

Allison's thieving gear: screwdrivers, wire, syringe.
My make-up bag has the exact same contents.

The Nancy and Frank flirt a little.

Frank: Do you always get like this when you're excited?
Nancy: Oh, you'll know when I'm excited.
Frank: I look forward to that.

The conversation is so deadpan that you can almost feel the UST, if by UST you mean "boredom".

The townspeople form a mob roughly reminiscent of the one their forefathers would have formed to kill the original Dracula, right down to what I assume is traditional Transylvanian dress (which looks suspiciously Bavarian.) Of course, they think they are after the original Dracula, so I suppose they have some excuse. Apparenly Dracs is angry because of the rock concert going on in his castle. One of the mob actually suggests they burn the castle. This is not only hilarious, but also impractical, as the castle is made out of stone, but I guess the point of mobs is that they're angry, violent, and stupid. Spooky!

Stavlin addresses the crowd and points out that there haven't actually been any killings. He's also apparently the community inspector, which - isn't he Romanian? Is Transylvania in Romania? Why does everyone there speak with a German accent, then? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

A mist starts to rise. I guess a country that has daily thunderstorms can handle a little mist in the evening. The Mayor invites Frank, Nancy, and Stavlin back to his apartments so that they can talk. Turns out he lives in part of an old prison, and the mayoral chambers are built like a fortress! Stavlin says that whoever attacked Fenton and the hotel-owner couldn't possibly attack the Mayor there. When Frank asks why he thinks the Mayor might be attacked, he says it's because it was the Mayor and town council who plotted Dracula's downfall originally. Fenton was just an unfortunate accident, according to Stavlin.

The conversation turns, and Nancy says she thought the burglary tools in Allison Troy's room were a little too conveniently placed. Stavlin thanks them for the information and leaves, after which the Mayor reluctantly agrees that he will stay in his fortressed-up mayoral office for the night, to avoid attack. He locks all the doors and bars the windows and I bet anything there's a secret passage. Back at the hotel, Nancy goes to bed while Frank waits up for Joe. Spooky!

Joe and Bess return from Joe's last gig. I would like to assure my readers that
what you can see is mist from the sky, not dope smoke from the van.

Then, Nancy is attacked by a bat.

She seems to be terrified, which I assume is a ploy because Nancy Goddamn Drew is not scared of any freaking bat. She actually throws a lamp at it. Frank and Joe bust down her door and rescue her, though. Frank points out that her window was barred from the inside, so that someone must have put the bat into her room. The only other explanation being that it was actually a vampire. The other other explanation is that the bat actually tunnelled its way into her room, up through the floor, but for some reason no one mentions that.

Stavlin shows up and tells them that Dracula isn't a myth, he's real! Stavlin is really starting to get on my nerves. Then the mayor's maid rushes in and says that something has happened to him. Spooky! They break into the mayor's apartments and find him slumped onto his desk, two puncture marks on his neck. The phantom bicycle repairer strikes again! Oooh! Or, you know, the vampire. The mayor is still alive, though! And the next day Stavlin arrests of Allison Troy, for the trail of art thefts across Europe.

Turns out that as well as the burglary kit, they found floor plans of the Louvre in Allison Troy's car! Seems like a done deal, right? Wrong! Because when Joe searched Allison's car the night before, there was nothing there. And Bess kept her eyes on Allison and his manager all night, and none of them were acting suspiciously. So someone planted the plans in the car, and the tool kit in his room. Spooky! But why? And more importantly, who?

The Mayor, of course! If no one could possibly have got into his room, then he must have done it to himself! That actually makes sense, but given that this is Stavlin's idea, and not Nancy's or the Hardy Boys', I'm guessing the Mayor's innocent. Well, that and the fact that he couldn't possibly have attacked the hotel owner because it would have meant being in two places at once. And that probably people would have noticed if he kept popping out of the country and returning with priceless artworks.

Anyway, with the mayor now under arrest, the townspeople ask Stavlin if he will be mayor. Spooky!

Stavlin: I? No, I have no political ambitions. [deprecating chuckle]

That is totally something that someone who was all along plotting to become mayor would say! Otherwise he would LOL no them properly, rather than allow himself to be quickly convinced in an entirely rehearsed manner.

Nancy doesn't believe Stavlin either, you can tell.
And, as an aside, Frank is wearing more blusher than Nancy.

Mystery apparently solved, the detectives say their goodbyes. This involves Joe and Bess necking while Frank and Nancy stare at each other saying, "Well. Uh, it's been nice meeting you and all..."

Frank and Joe drive back up to the castle, because Frank feels like there's still some loose ends. He heads down to the caverns, where Dracula's tomb is sealed behind a door with Dracula's crest on it. Except that it's not really sealed, because there's a hidden lever on the crest that opens it! Spooky! And inside the tomb? The stolen art! And also a coffin. Frank opens it to see what's inside. In case you're wondering, a skeleton. Ooooh!

Then! Stavlin turns up! And the boys have worked out that the connection between the attacks and the thefts is Stavlin himself. He was being forced to retire, so he was stealing the paintings in order to retire with a little money. He used the castle as his own private retreat, until Allison Troy rented the venue and Fenton Hardy turned up. The attack on the mayor was staged - Stavlin drugged him and then, when he'd rushed to his rescue, drew the puncture marks on his neck while the Hardys were distracted.

Stavlin traps the Hardys and threatens to push them down a gaping hole that just sort of appears in the floor. I guess the hows and whys of that aren't really important. But Nancy, Bess and a recovered Fenton rush to their rescue, and it is Stavlin who falls down the hole! But the Hardys rescue him. Man, I totally took all the dramatic tension out of that scene.

Stavlin is arrested, and it seems like everything's been wrapped up! Except for that UST between Frank and Nancy.

And... except for the fact that Stavlin doesn't have a reflection...

DUN DUN DUN!

I hope you have enjoyed this ~Spooky Special~. Expect some Trixie Belden goodness in the near future. And Happy Halloween!

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part Two.

2010-10-30T22:10:00.006+13:00

Our spooky Halloween Special continues! Are you ready? Then I'll begin.

Nancy takes a look at Fenton's notebook and ascertains that he has a series of dates in it - that correspond to the dates of concerts performed by rock star Allison Troy. I always thought Alison was a girl's name, but I expect if I said that to Alice Cooper he'd beat the crap out of me with his guitar. Apparently, each of the art thefts took place during the concerts.

Frank tells Nancy that she's meddling in their father's case and she LOLs at him. Then Joe suggests that him and Frank go to Transylvania and liaise with her in Munich, but she tells him she's going to Transylvania. Right now, in fact.

Frank, Joe and the band arrive in Transylvania and have a look at the castle. There's another thunderstorm. That crazy Transylvanian atmospheric pressure. While they're outside, there's someone moving about... inside. We don't get to see his face, but he's very pale. Not to scare anyone, but I think he might be a vampire!!!

Vampires drink blood, are allergic to sunlight, and love their bling.

When they get to their hotel, they find Stavlin there, chilling with the locals and complaining about kids these days, etc. Spooky! The mayor of the town suggests that Stavlin isn't really angry about the rockfest so much as he scared of someone... or something. Stavlin makes the Hardys promise that he'll come to them if they find any news of their father. When they register at the hotel, they see that their father had signed in the hotel, sometime earlier. The boys decide to talk to Allison Troy himself.

The rock concert is about the lamest concert I've ever seen. You know the way old men dance at weddings? Yeah, that's how hardcore this concert is. Spooky! Allison's lyrics are pretty great though: "Good for nothing, bad in bed / Nobody likes you and you're better off dead / Goodbye, goodbye."

Rock musicians: super hardcore.

Allison warns them that nobody - but nobody! - is allowed down to the caverns below the castle. So the Mayor decides to go down to the caverns. Then Fenton's bearded companion warns him that it's super dangerous. Oh, those superstitious bearded companions! Stavlin also warns against it. Spooky! Turns out Joe can actually sing, so he takes to the stage while Frank investigates. Nancy and Bess arrive; Bess thinks Joe is totally hot. They take off into the caverns, too.

The mayor's party is the first to take a wrong turn. They end up by a door marked with Dracula's crest. The bearded companion panics, and the others laugh at him, but they follow him away from it anyway. The mayor notices that, as the leave, the stone roof starts to crumble. Then the door starts to open... The party goes through a torture chamber and one of them - the hotel owner - starts to lag behind. A ringed hand reaches for him...

Frank stumbles across the hotel owner's body. He's in one of the cells, unconscous but alive. Unfortunately, while he's in the cell, someone with a pale ringed hand decides to lock him in. Then Bess and Nancy arrive on the scene - just in time to see that the hotel owner has two small puncture wounds on the base of his neck! Some kind of bicycle wheel repaire gone horribly wrong, perhaps? Bess runs for a doctor while Nancy picks the lock with a hairpin. With this knew, spooky angle to the mystery, Nancy and Frank agree to start working together.

Not pictured: Nancy holding Frank's testicles in a vice-like grip. Who's the Alpha Male now, huh?

Joe's unimpressed that Nancy has joined them, until she reveals that she thinks she's found their father. He was found by some monks, and the reason Interpol hadn't found him was that he only had ID with his alias on it with him. Obviously! Luckily, Nancy is smarter than Interpol. Frank and Joe visit Fenton, and Frank tries really hard to emote. He's been unconscious for at least four days. Turns out he's got the same puncture wound. Spooky! Then Frank, Joe and Nancy all pretend not to believe in vampires, and drive off into the night.

THRILLING CONCLUSION TOMORROW!

But first, a small mystery! Allison's audience are all dressed in spooky costume for the occasion. That's all well and fine, but what the hell is this guy dressed as?

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part One.

2010-10-29T20:50:00.006+13:00

I've been gone for a while, I know. And I'm sorry! To make it up to you, my loyal reader(s), for the next three nights I will be presenting something very special. And seasonal. Yes, it's the episode of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries where the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew meet Dracula! The episode is called: "Meet Dracula". It's right there on the tin!

Our story opens in Transylvania. Oooh! Spoooooky! The Hardy Boys' father, the dashing Fenton Hardy, drives up a dark, spooky road with a bearded companion. The bearded companion explains that he's been the only one to drive this way for many, many years. But now an American rock singer is coming and... I guess he's going to be using the road, too? At last, they reveal where they are driving to - a castle! A very square, jail-like castle. The music swells dramatically. A wolf howls in the distance. A thunderstorm starts. I guess Transylvania's been hit by a warm front, with westerlies blowing straight from the Isle of Clichés.

Spooky! Well, sort of spooky. Well, if you squint a bit, and tilt your head to the left...

The bearded companion warns Fenton not to go inside, and then abandons him at the castle gates. Fenton chuckles, dashingly. Oh, those bearded companions! How superstitious they are. Fenton goes in anyway, because he's a HARDY, dammit. A bat appears, but Fenton is wearing a trenchcoat and totally dapper boots, so he's not scared. He comes to some kind of courtyard and the music swells once more. This is so spooky, you guys. I'm on the edge of my seat. Then he finds a gargoyle. Oooh! Another bat appears. Or possibly the same one, it's kind of hard to tell if you're not intimately acquainted with bats. Fenton, surprised, drops his torch... into a pile of bones! Man, this castle has everything.

Being a great lover of musical theatre, Fenton knows to keep his hand at the level of his eyes.

Then Fenton is knocked out by a shadow. DUN DUN DUN!

Two weeks later, Paris. Frank and Joe are following every lead they can to try and find their father. They arrive at Fenton's hotel room to find a Romanian detective, Hans Stavlin, going through their father's things. Turns out Fenton was working with Interpol on an international art theft case. Interpol has zero leads on the case or on Fenton's whereabouts. Interpol sound pretty useless all-round. Spooky! Stavlin suggests they go back to the States, but the Hardys find their father's notebook, which includes a memo of a meeting in a Munich hotel.

Guys I have read like a million Hardy Boys books, and at no point have they ever described the fabulousness that is these boys' hair. Spooky!

The boys decide to go undercover so they... join a band. Obviously. The band's heading to the Transylvanian Dracula Festival, which! Coincidentally! Is also mentioned in Fenton's notebook!

In Munich, the boy check into their father's hotel room, then go out to get something to eat. Then - Nancy Drew arrives, with Bess! Spooky! She's travelling under the name "Miss Fredericks" and is alarmed to hear that there is a rock group staying in her room. So she gets the bellhop to take their bags away. (There's this whole joke about how the bellhop is a former Nazi. It's reeeeeally not much of a joke.) Frank sees the bellhop taking the bags away, and tells him to take them back. When he hears it's two ladies in the room, he asks the bellhop to take their bags back down to the lobby. Nancy catches him at it and sends him back up. Hilarious! I mean, spooky!

Nancy and the Hardys end up in the same elevator together. Frank tries to flirt, but Nancy brushes him off. They reach their (shared) room, and Frank tries to pick up Nancy's luggage, so she judo flips him. Nancy is awesome. But, finally, they realise that they're actually all there to see each other, and they start discussing the case.

Frank: still macking on Nancy. Joe: Has a nice arse. Spooky!

TO BE CONTINUED! OOOOOH!

The Clue in the Comic

2010-09-06T12:09:00.003+12:00

Kate Beaton has done a series of comic strips riffing on classic Nancy Drew covers. I love Kate Beaton's humour, so if you're not already a regular reader of hers, they're well worth checking out.

"The 'Secret Way'. I'll find it somehow."

2010-08-23T07:34:00.004+12:00

The Famous Five #2
Five Go Adventuring Again

The detectives:
As the title suggests, the Famous Five involves not just one, but five detectives! In order to avoid confusion, here are some easy descriptions of them. Julian, Dick, and Anne are siblings; George is their cousin.

Julian is the eldest, and a boy, and therefore the leader of the gang. He's always right, and all grown-ups trust him implicitly, and he's super responsible. He knows that it's his job to protect the girls, Anne and George, whether they like it or not.
Anne is the youngest, and a girl, and therefore likes girly things. Like cleaning! And cooking! And being protected by manly men! She's most easily scared and hates the various mysteries she and the others get involved in.
George is also a girl, despite her name. For some reason, she doesn't want to do the usual girl things, like Anne - this crazy mofo wants independence and equality! She's so silly. You can't do the things that boys do if you have a vagina! She's also sulky and bad-tempered, but she has a heart of gold.
Dick is the other boy. He doesn't really have a personality, because that's Alpha Male Julian's job. Dick's role is to back up Julian so that George doesn't forget that she's a girl, and so that Anne doesn't realise that a life of drudgery isn't all that much fun.
Timmy is George's dog. He can sense evil, and is a better weapon than a loaded gun. He's usually the one the bad guys try to kill, although due to his ability to sense evil, they always fail.

Together... they fight crime.

The case:
It's almost Christmas, and Anne and George are preparing to go home from school for the holidays, when they hear bad news - Anne's mother is sick, so she and the boys won't be home for Christmas. Aunt Fanny, George's mother, invites them back to their home, Kirrin, but there's more bad news - poor grades mean that George, Dick and Julian are all going to have to have a tutor over the holidays. At Kirrin, Anne and George meet Aunt Fanny, who is nice and has a sense of humour; Uncle Quentin, who is basically a bad-tempered and unsympathetic genius; and Joanna, the cook, who is fat. That's seriously the only trait she's given in this book.

Uncle Quentin interviews a few different candidates for the children's tutor, and chooses the one who seems quite intelligent, because he knows all about the secret work that Uncle Quentin is doing. And alarm bells are ringing already. He's also "very firm", something which alarms the kids. Dick wonders if he likes dogs, and George announces that if he doesn't then she won't do any work all holidays. Have I mentioned that George is kind of a brat?

The tutor, Mr Roland arrives. He wants to call George 'Georgiana', and isn't a fan of dogs, so you know George is going to hate him. Of course, Tim doesn't like Mr Roland either, which is like a beacon going off telling the reader that there is Something Fishy about Mr Roland. The other kids like him though, especially Anne. Oh Anne. Your need to please everyone and like everyone bespeaks volumes about your terrifying upbringing.

The children are disappointed to learn that, even though it's a week before Christmas, they'll be starting their lessons already. Their afternoons are free, though, so they go off for a visit to Kirrin Farm. The couple who run the farm, Mr and Mrs Sanders, naturally adore 'Master George' and despite the children not calling ahead to let them know they were coming but just assuming that everyone they meet are going to love them and despair, offer them freshly baked shortbread and hot drinks. The Sanders mention that they have a couple of artists staying with them over Christmas, and then Tim chases and cat and accidentally opens a secret panel.

A secret panel, you guys! Julian sends Anne off to get a candle, and then gets to have first look inside the hole behind the panel. Then Dick gets a turn. Then the girls. The kids are naturally pretty excited, and Mrs Sanders directs them to a cupboard upstairs with a sliding back. Anne shines for a moment by being the one to find the switch that opens it, but instantly loses her cool points by being claustrophobic when she tries to fit in the space behind the sliding back.

Dick finds a hole in the brick wall behind the cupboard, and is excited to find an old recipe book in it - a good six generations old. Nice try, Dick, but it's Julian who makes the real discovery - a tobacco pouch, which contains a scrap of material with a coded message inside. The children decide to keep it a secret, and Julian suggests they kick Anne if she starts to give anything away. Nice.

Mr Roland gets on George's bad side by first calling Timothy a terrible mongrel and then calling her Georgina. Julian tries to get him to treat her in a more understanding way, but Mr Roland says he doesn't need a child to tell him how to treat his pupils. Seeing Julian squashed is incredibly enjoyable. Of course, George decides that since everyone else likes Mr Roland, she doesn't want anything to do with them. Dick manages to talk sense into her - for now - and she agrees to try not to ruin Christmas. The children tell Mr Roland all about Kirrin Farm, although not the secret code that they discovered. He seems very interested.

George sneaks Tim under the table during their lessons, and he promptly bites Mr Roland. George realises she's going to have to obey their tutor, or he'll order Timothy to be permanently chained outside. She announces to the other children that she doesn't like him, not just because of Tim, but also because he has thin lips. Apparently thin lipped people "are always spiteful and hard". Eugenics are alive and well in the 21st century. Dick agrees that there's something up with Mr Roland, but Julian doesn't think so. He likes their tutor enough to ask him about some words that are written on their bit of material - via occulta. It turns out to be Latin for secret way, and the kids are all super excited at the thought of finding it. When they don't make any progress, Julian actually shows Mr Roland the linen, which pisses George off no end.

The secret code is actually a diagram marked in Latin, showing eight wooden panels in a room facing east, with a stone floor and a cupboard. Mr Roland makes the children tell him where they found it, with a piece of dialogue which is genuinely creepy:

"'I think you might tell me,' said the tutor, looking at Dick with his brilliant blue eyes. 'I can be trusted with secrets. You've no idea how many strange secrets I know.'"

D:

Christmas Day comes, and there's time off lessons. George even grudgingly accepts a present from Mr Roland, a book on dogs. But that night, when everyone's asleep, she wakes up to hear someone creeping about downstairs. Thinking it might be a burglar, she and Tim creep downstairs to confront whoever it is - and it turns out to be Mr Roland, moving around in the dark. He claims to have heard a noise as well, and isn't please when George doesn't instantly believe him. When George's father joins them, Mr Roland easily convinces him to turn Tim out of the house, and have him chained to his kennel. While I agree with his sentiment, it's still pretty harsh to force a dog who is used to being inside, outside during the coldest months of the year.

The Five - minus George and Tim - and Mr Roland go to Kirrin Farmhouse to try and find the secret way. They try a couple of different rooms, and meet the artists who are now staying with the Sanders. Mr Roland has clearly never met them before, as he asks for an introduction. But when Anne describes the artists to George, she's sure that she saw them and Mr Roland talking that morning, before the visit to Kirrin Cottage. The plot is starting to thicken nicely.

In an effort to get Tim back, Julian convinces George to behave well in lessons. She works hard and even manages to smile at Mr Roland's jokes. He gives a good report of her to her father, and Julian and the others ask that they have Tim back as a reward. Unce Quentin is unable to make this decision himself, apparently, because he asks Mr Roland what he thinks, and the tutor for some reason loathes the very thought. George is miserable, moreso when she lies awake that night hearing Tim whine and cough. She finally comes up with a brilliant idea - bring Timmy inside to her father's study, where the fire isn't quite out, and rub oil into his hairy chest. Those are the actual words. I guess I'm glad that Tim isn't bald. She falls asleep in front of the fire, and has to hurry back to her room in the morning. Anne is completely overwhelmed by George's daring. I'm not sure what part of this was daring, except that Uncle Quentin will flip his shit if he finds out George has been in there.

The next morning, George has a massive attack of sulks again and refuses to go to lessons. The others truthfully tells Mr Roland that they don't know where George is, and when Anne is sent to look for her she can't find her. Then Uncle Quentin appears to ask if any of the children were in his study last night, as test tubes are broken and there are important pages missing from his work. Uncle Quentin, didn't anyone ever tell you to back that up on a separate hard drive? Still, it's top secret government work, so he's understandably worried. Anne knows George was in his study last night, but she's sure it couldn't have been her, and manages not to give her away. Mr Roland tries to pin the blame on George anyway.

Unfortunately, then Uncle Quentin finds the empty oil bottle that George left in his study. Mr Roland can smell Anne's fear, and keeps asking her what she knows. Eventually, Anne bursts into tears, and - since he's the only one allowed to bully Anne - Julian tells everyone to leave her alone, since if she's keeping a secret she must have a good reason for it. The three of them then rush off to find George and warn her. George freely admits she was in the study, but denies breaking anything. George's father believes her, because she never tells lies, but when she suggests that the burglar must have come from inside the house he refuses to believe it. He then goes to consult with his wife about a suitable punishment for George, and George suddenly realises that his workroom has eight wooden panels!

George tells Julian about the panels, and also tries to convince him that Mr Roland must have been the one to steal the missing pages. Julian reluctantly agrees to follow Mr Roland on his walk that afternoon, and is surprised to see him pass on Uncle Quentin's papers to the two 'artists' staying at Kirrin Farm. Julian returns home to learn that there's going to be heavy snow for the next few days, which means that they won't be able to leave the house again - but that means that the 'artists' won't be able to leave the farm to pass on the pages to anyone, either.

George's idea about the Secret Way turns out to be right, too. The next day lessons are canceled as Mr Roland has a cold, so when Uncle Quentin goes out to shovel snow the children and Tim go into the study and follow the coded instruction, opening up a secret passage. They go down it to explore, and quickly come to the conclusion that it leads to Kirrin Farmhouse. Anne then suggests that if they can get into the Farmhouse undiscovered, they'll be able to steal back her uncle's pages.

The tunnel comes out in the cupboard with the sliding back! The children quickly search through the artists' rooms, but can't find the pages anywhere. And then Anne (of course it's Anne) accidentally drops a vase, and the smash alerts the artists to the fact that someone is in their room. The children flee, but at the last moment George has the brainwave to search through the artists' coat pockets. She finds a sheath of papers and takes them, not having time to see if they're the right things or not.

The children manage to escape back down the tunnel, but then Tim freaks out and starts howling, and the artists realise that there's something strange about their cupboard. The start chasing the children, who run for it. Anne has a tough time keeping up with the others, though, and between being pulled by Julian and pushed by Dick she falls and twists her ankle. George tells the others to keep going, with Anne and the papers - she and Tim will face down the men. Tim launches himself at the artists, which frightens them enough that they retreat back to the farmhouse. George and Tim catch up to the others, and they tell Uncle Quentin and Aunt Fanny everything.

Conclusion:
Mr Roland had, of course, been planted in the house to gain Uncle Quentin's trust and steal his papers. He had insisted that Tim go outside so that he could move around the house without being caught. Uncle Quentin apologises to George for not believing her, and lets her lock Mr Roland in his room. The artists come back through the tunnel, but Tim is lying in wait for them, and they get locked into Mr Roland's room too. The police arrive - on skis! - to handcuff them. And the children don't have to have any more lessons for the rest of the hols.

Case notes:

The only reason that Dick and Julian have poor grades is because they were sick for part of the term, of course. Don't worry kids, they're still Good Examples.
I'm pretty sure we don't actually meet Anne and co.'s parents for the whole of the series.
Anne seems to like Mr Roland due to his white teeth and "brilliant blue" eyes. You know she'd be a Frodo fangirl.
We're told that Julian fancies himself as an artist. An Alpha Male with a sensitive side? Swoon!
Anne really is terrible at keeping secrets. Not even in a 'oops, I hinted at something there' kind of way. In a, she opens her mouth and the truth comes out without any prompting kind of way.
George is a pretty popular character, I know, but she irritates me so much. She hates Anne for liking Mr Roland, but when Anne says that she loves Tim, George likes her again.
A lot of the Christmas preparations are described, and it turns out that George has never had a Christmas tree before. Maybe they still weren't that common when the book was written?
Despite not really liking any of the characters, they are well drawn, and Enid Blyton is pretty amazing at conveying personality in actions and reactions. You can see why her books have stood the test of time!
Anne and George are constantly described as "little girls" which, sure, I think they're ten and eleven, when this book was written that was considered pretty young - Anne still plays with dolls, for example. But Dick and Julian, at eleven and twelve, aren't described as "little boys". And George being constantly described as a "little girl" seems especially demeaning, given that she hates being a girl.
At one point, George is sent to bed as punishment, and the others are forbidden to talk to her. Dick suggests they sneak up and talk to her anyway, and Julian says that he'll go, by himself. Because he's the eldest.
The Kirrins' cook, Joanna, is new to the household. But George doesn't consider for one single second that it might be her who stole her father's pages. She just thinks, "It can't have been Mother, or Joanna," and that's it.
Dick worries that the men might have "revolvers". I think that might be the one thing that dates this book the most.

The cover: Do you think Anne and (whichever boy) are meant to look scared? Because they look more horrified. Like maybe someone just told them about The Human Centipede.

Less flippantly, it came as a bit of a shock to me that the kids are both shown wearing fairly modern clothes - at least, that hoodie is pretty contemporary. Obviously they're trying to appeal to modern readers, but these books are so mid-20th century to me the clothing just doesn't seem to 'fit' the characters.

At the Hop

2010-07-24T09:59:00.006+12:00

Thanks to Oh YA! Comics I found out about this fairly awesome Book Blog party! And, since it seems like fun, I thought I'd join in. I've already found a bunch of fun new book blogs - check out my sidebar for all the blogs I think everyone ought to check out :D

This week's challenge was TELL US ABOUT THE BOOK YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING!, which is a little hard as I've only just started reading my current book. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon, is the story of two comic book creators in the 1940's, one of whom is desperately trying to help his family escape Nazi Europe. I've read Chabon's Yiddish Policemen's Union and loved it, so I'm pretty excited about finally getting my teeth stuck into this one - I borrowed it off a friend back in February, oops.

If you've hopped here:

Check out the books I read and reviewed for my 52 book challenge!
Or just browse through the recaps I've done with the teen detective challenge!

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be making that Famous Five post I've promised! I'd rather be doing that than what I'm currently doing, which is transcribing interviews. Sigh.

Wednesday Moment - Ti(c)k to(c)k

2010-07-21T19:09:00.001+12:00

Since we're on the subject of Batman...

Teen Detectives Inc. Presents: The Boy Wonder Special

2010-07-20T15:21:00.009+12:00

No, I haven't disappeared! I've just been super busy with a research project. I'm working on a Famous Five post, but in the meantime, here's a bit of frippery, courtesy of my indistinguishable love for all things Batman.

Have you ever heard of Batman? Of course you have, you're alive. You are perfectly familiar with the masked vigilante with abs of steel and a penchant for flying mammals and women who dress like cats! What you might not know, unless you are big into comics, is that Batman wasn't originally conceived as a superhero as such, but more of a detective. His original appearance was in the appropriately named Detective Comics, a title which is still running. And while Batman may be an adult of questionable sanity, he has often had young, teenaged sidekicks helping him solve crime. And unlike the teen detectives who work in children's books, the comics industry is not averse to showing something absolutely shocking: sometimes, teen detectives grow up.

Oh, and sometimes they die.

So what will future bring for our favourite teen detectives - the Nancy Drews, the Hardy Boys, the Trixies and Fives and Megs? Or rather, what would the future bring, if they were ever allowed to age? Batman's sidekick, Robin - er, Robins - can teach us some valuable lessons.

Robin #1 - Dick Grayson
This is probably the Robin most people are familiar with. Dick Grayson's parents were acrobats in a circus, who were cruelly murdered after witnessing a crime. Batman then took in Dick, leaving millions of fans to wonder a) why a single man was taking in an orphaned boy 2) whether letting him wear a bright red costume and fight crime was in any way sane and iii) seriously, how hilarious is the name "Dick".

Where-to from Robin: Dick eventually became frustrated with always being Batman's sidekick, and eventually took on a new identity, Nightwing, and moved from Gotham City to Bludhaven, where he began to fight crime on his own. Since Bruce Wayne, the original Batman, got lost in time*, he has taken on the identity of his mentor and is the new Batman in Gotham City.

The Lesson: Once a detective, always a detective. Detecting is in the blood, and our teen detectives are going to grow up into... adult detectives.

Robin #2 - Jason Todd
Jason first brought himself to Batman's notice when he stole the wheels off the Batmobile, giving him the honour of being the Robin with the biggest balls. Batman thought the kid had potential, and took him in with the hope of setting him on the straight and narrow. It didn't entirely work. Jason frequently disobeyed orders, he rebelled, he even - gasp! - smoked.

Where-to from Robin: Jason found out the mother he remembered was not his biological mother. He eventually found his birth-mother, but was brutally slaughtered by the Joker for his efforts. Batman put up a memorial to him in his Batcave to provide years of angst. Jason was later accidentally brought back to life**, and has since proved to be kind of a sociopath. Waking up in your own coffin will do that to you, I guess. He was last seen falling off a building, but it's not like being dead has ever stopped him before.

The Lesson: Not every villain will make do with tying up a teen detective and cackling before revealing all their plans. Our teen detectives ought to have a bullet proof vest, at the very least. Although may I suggest a tank?

Robin #3 - Tim Drake
Tim is what many people may term a stalker. That is, he stalks people. He stalked Batman and Nightwing until Batman finally gave in and let him be Robin 3.0, because Batman appreciates that kind of dedication.

Where-to from Robin: Tim stayed as Robin until his Dad asked him to quit so that the two of them could have a semblance of a normal life. He later returned to the position, but at Bruce Wayne's disappearance he decided to go his own way, taking a new name.

The Lesson: You may be a detective, but you're still a teen, and you have to do what your parents tell you. You better have tidied your room and taken out the trash by the time I get home, young lady, or there'll be hell to pay.

Robin #4 - Stephanie Brown
Steph's dad was a D-rate villain, and she wasn't very happy about it. She made her own costume - a purple cloak and black mask - and taking the name of Spoiler set out to, uh, spoil his plans. She met Robin/Tim Drake and the two started a thing, but he and Batman were supremely unhappy about her doing her own vigilante/detecting, claiming that her recklessness would only get her killed. However, after Tim quit the first time, she finally convinced Batman to make her part of the team, and she became the first, and as yet only, female Robin.

Where-to from Robin: Steph's recklessness... eventually got her killed. Batman wouldn't put up a memorial to her in the Batcave, either. However, it later turned out that Steph was only pretending to be dead so she could find herself***. She went back to being Spoiler for a little while, but is currently the latest in a short line of Batgirls.

The Lesson: Even if you're a great teen detective, not everyone is going to believe you can hack it out there in the adult world. (Oh, and Batman is a dick.)

Robin #5 - Damian Wayne
Damian is Bruce Wayne's son. Well, biologically, anyway. His mother, Talia, probably drugged Bruce and had sex with him in order to raise his son as the perfect assassin****. Damian badly wants to impress his father, but his early training means he is ruthless and completely lacks empathy. He's also ten years old, which means he spends a fair amount of time staring at Stephanie Brown's chest.

Where-to after Robin: Unknown, as yet.

The Lesson: If our teen detectives are too successful, assassins may use them to breed future detectives. Actually, that might explain the horror that is Famous 5: On the Case.

* Everyone thought he was dead, see, but then they found that there were clues all through history which were pointing to the existence of a Batman through the ages and... look, comics are messed up. You just learn to roll with it after a while.
** There're these pits, OK, and if you throw a dead person into them they come back to life. It all makes perfect sense!
*** She didn't suffer from recklessness so much as bad writing. Fans hated that she was tortured and killed, but they hated even more that she was blamed for her own death and wasn't even really allowed to be mourned by the other characters.
**** This is where just rolling with it comes in

"We always solve them, too."

2010-06-08T20:35:00.012+12:00

Meg #6
Mystery in Williamsburg

We take a break from Nancy this week with a lesser-known mystery-solver who was nonetheless a huge part of my childhood. The 'Meg' mysteries were aimed at younger children, so the stories have far fewer cliff-hangers (and larger print).

Meg has a number of similarities to Nancy Drew - she's motherless, and largely raised by her housekeeper, she loves solving mysteries (of course) and she never makes any mistakes, leaving that to her best friend, Kerry, to do.

The case:
It's spring, and Meg is painting a picture of some dandelions for her father, who is away on business. Apparently she's amazingly talented at art. I suspect this will be relevant later in the book. You can tell she's talented because Mrs Wilson, the housekeeper, tells her her painting is "real pretty". She also brings Meg some news: her uncle is here to see her!

Uncle Hal has a Very Important job at the museum, although Meg's not allowed to ask questions about it. I'm thinking he's actually a government spy. He's also young and handsome. I'm thinking sexy government spy. Anyway, Uncle Hal has arrived to invite Meg and Kerry to Williamsburg. A friend of Meg's (dead) mother is holding a toy exhibition, and she's asked Meg and Kerry to help, as tour guides.

When the three of the get to Williamsburg, Meg's (dead) mother's friend isn't home, and although she leaves her front door open, it sticks in the rain. No matter - her house has a secret entrance! There's a door next to the chimney which leads into the old wood shed, and then into the house. That is actually pretty cool.

Meg's (dead) mother's friend, Lucy, arrives home. Uncle Hal tells her something smells good, and Lucy flirtatiously suggests that it's her, although it turns out he's actually talking about dinner. Still, Uncle Hal is clearly a UILF. Lucy tells the girls about the mysterious Miss Mariah, who is donating some of the toys to the exhibition. She carries an old doll around with her all the time, and there's a locked room in her mansion (aka the River House) which she visits every day between 2 and 3pm. No one says anything about Bluebeard, but I bet they're all thinking it.

Before visiting Miss Mariah, Meg and Kerry get dressed up in Colonial style clothes. I remember doing that at school when I was a kid, and it being totally fun. Kerry is a tomboy, so she has to wear stockings and breeches, which sounds less fun. They go to show off their outfits to Uncle Hal, and Meg finds a photo that he's dropped, of a man who is smiling - except the smile doesn't reach his eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found our villain, and we don't even know what the mystery is yet.

Miss Mariah introduces Meg and Kerry to Paris, the doll she carries around with her. She was named Paris because... she was made in Paris. This seems like the doll-equivalent of naming your child after wherever it was conceived. Number 17 Bus Shelter knows what I'm talking about. Paris was one of the first talking dolls ever made, but one day... there was a tragedy. And after that Paris never spoke again.

Miss Mariah's parents died when she was 6, and her Grandfather took her in. He filled her playroom with toys, all of which she was allowed to play with - except for two little peg dolls, named Mercy and Charity. Apparently, they were incredibly valuable, but Miss Mariah could never work out why. After all, they were made from clothespins. But one day, her visiting cousins completely wrecked the playroom, breaking the doll's house that was an exact replica of the River House (right down to a secret room), injuring Paris, and losing the two peg dolls. The resulting arguements and accusations broke the family apart.

Apparently Miss Mariah's grandfather found the two dolls, and hid them to keep them safe. But she was ill when he told her where, and all she can remember of his instructions is to "turn the house upside down, and you'll find them". She has turned the whole house upside down, searching everywhere, but she's never found them.

Strangely, a lot of people have suddenly started visiting her, and asking her about her toy collection. She's sure that someone's out to steal her toys. Perhaps she's been visited by Angelica Pickles. But she's sure they'll be safe at the exhibition while she's out of town, and Meg and Kerry promise to look after Paris as if she was there own child. Er, doll. Then there's a knock at the door. A young man, Stephen, comes to the door and asks where he can find the River House and Miss Mariah, Miss Mariah is incredibly suspicious, and turns him away before he can say why he's there.

Lucy takes the girls home with the toys Miss Mariah has donated to the exhibition, and it starts pouring with rain. They see Stephen waiting for the bus and offer him a lift, and as they talk he starts revealing that he knows things about Paris and Miss Mariah that she had said no one else knew. As thanks he offers to help carry the toys into Lucy's house. And they let him, because that is the ideal thing to do when you think someone is trying to steal your shit - let them carry it for you. The front door is still stuck, so they have to go in through the chimney door again. Stephen, who is carrying the doll's house, slips in the dark, but the doll's house seems to be unharmed. The only thing that has changed is that the roof, which was slightly crooked before, is now straight. Meg notices this with her "artist's eye", by the way. Stephen apologises, saying he tripped over his own large feet.

The next day, Lucy, Meg and Kerry go out for a walk, and Meg decides she wants to do some sketching. Up until now, Meg has been the one looking after Paris, but she gives the doll to Kerry to hold so she can work. Lucy sends Kerry to buy some fresh cookies, and in the bakery the baker accidentally bumps into Kerry with a hot baking tray, burning her hands. She puts Paris down on the counter while she gets her hands bandaged up - and when she comes back, Paris is gone! Meg, of course, wouldn't have put Paris down for a second, 3rd degree burns or no.

Lucy thinks someone must have just picked up Paris thinking she was lost, but Meg wonders if she was stolen. She's further convinced when they visit the toy exhibition and she finds out that a lot of old toys are worth a lot of money - especially early models, like Paris. Lucy finally considers going to the police, but before she can ring them Meg hears someone coming up the steps towards the exhibition, and leaving again quickly. When Meg and Kerry open the door, they find Paris leaning against the doorframe. And I read enough horror stories as a young kid to be pretty convinced that Paris is alive and out to kill everyone.

Back at the exhibition, Meg and Kerry find footsteps muddy footsteps going up the stairs. Footprints made by large feet. Which is just the kind of feet that Stephen has! Even more suspiciously, after the exhibition opens, he comes to visit and makes a joke about Paris "getting back in time". The girls are sure he stole Paris, but Lucy points out that that isn't the hard evidence that they need. She might not have used those exact words.

Now, Meg's age is never actually given in the book, but I have to assume she's quite young - for one thing, she wears her hairs in pigtails, which is usually a sign of "young girl", and for another, Lucy worries about leaving the girls alone at night. So let's say she's thirteen, maybe fourteen at most (maybe younger). Stephen, on the other hand, is described as a "young man". So when Lucy goes out for the evening, and Stephen rings Meg and asks her if he can come over with "someone who wants to see you and Kerry", it is pretty damned skeevy. Particularly since Stephen doesn't say anything about checking with her parent or guardian about whether it's OK. Luckily, Meg tells him no. But it totally reads like a child abduction just waiting to happen.

Stephen's not the only suspicious person around, though. Meg notices a guy hanging around the toy exhibition with long hair, a bushy moustache, and a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. Personally, I suspect anyone who thinks a moustache is a good idea. He introduces himself as Mr Adam and asks a number of interested questions. Kerry answers quite happily, but Meg isn't sure about him. She tells him he'll have to leave, as the girls are about to go on their lunchbreak. When they get back from lunch, they find that someone has emptied all the furniture out of the dollhouse. (DUN DUN DUNNN!) Meg and Kerry try to put things straight again, and in the house Meg finds a cufflink shaped like an 'S'. S... for skeevy Stephen?

Lucy takes a delivery of an old diary and a bunch of other papers, but has to go out for the evening again. Meg looks through, and finds something shocking - an article on The Mystery of the Missing Washington Dolls. Turns out George Washington gave his sister two little peg dolls, named Mercy and Charity. Meg realises that other people have read the article, realised that Miss Mariah was (is?) in possession of Mercy and Charity and have started sniffing around for information.

Meg realises that the dolls must be hidden in the doll's house. She and Kerry remember the secret room and decide to open it and see if the dolls are inside. At first they can't get it open, but then Meg remembers Miss Mariah's message - "turn the house upside down". They do, and the secret room opens - but there's nothing inside but a scrap of material. The dolls are gone.

At the end of the day the girls are getting ready to leave when they spot Stephen and another man talking to Mr Adam. Panicked, Meg almost drops Paris, and hears a ripping noise. She realises what caused Paris to stop talking, and decides she needs to get to Lucy as quickly as possible. Lucy is working at the old jail, solely, I assume, so that Meg and Kerry can get locked in there after closing.

Luckily they're rescued... unluckily, it's by Stephen and the other man, who turns out to be his father. They say that Lucy asked them to pick the girls up, but Meg and Kerry are somewhat skeptical! Before they get to Stephen's car, they make a run for it, taking a shortcut which leads away from the road and towards Lucy's house. Just as they arrive, someone yells at them to stop running, because he wants the doll. It's Mr Adam, of the unsmiling eyes. They duck in through the chimney door, and Meg tells Kerry her discovery. One of the Washington dolls has been inside Paris, all this time!

But there's more - on the woodshed floor they find another doll. It had been inside the doll's house, but on that very first day when Stephen dropped the house it had popped free.

So that's one mystery solved! But what about the bad guys? Well, Uncle Hal and Lucy bring the girls out of the woodshed and Meg and Kerry finally get a proper introduction to Stephen and his father. Turns out, his father is one of Miss Mariah's cousins, one of the brats that hid the Washington dolls in the first place! He shoved one of them into the doll's house, and the other down the couch; it was Miss Mariah's grandfather who hid on in Paris. None of this makes Stephen's behaviour any less creepy, but whatever.

It was Stephen who found and returned Paris - he hadn't stolen her, but had thought she had been left behind. And the cuff-link isn't his, either. Oh, and they didn't actually know Mr Adam - they'd just met him when the girls saw them talking together. Uncle Hal becomes interested in Mr Adam, though. He produces the photo that Meg saw earlier and asks the girls if he's the one. Kerry says no, but Meg the artist draws on long hair and a moustache and bingo! It is Mr Adam after all! Turns out his real name is Scott, and he's one of the cleverest art thieves in the world. The cufflink is his, too, which places him at the scene of the crime. Uncle Hal is totally a spy. Scott is apprehended, Miss Mariah reunites with her family, and Paris gets her groove back. Case closed.

Case notes:

Miss Mariah's name irritates me. Not because of the alliteration, which is awesome (naturally), but because every time I read it I wonder if it's ma-REE-a or ma-RAY-a.
I have never understood the "eyes not smiling" trope so often used in kids' books. Don't people's eyes just naturally crinkle when they smile? Or does this mean something else?!
Mercy and Charity are such moralistic names for children's toys. But at least neither of them were named "Chastity".
Miss Mariah really comes across as having never got over the loss and destruction of her toys. To be fair, her grandfather died not long after, but even then, she's still tearing up while she talks about him. Then again, it would appear that she doesn't have anything in her life except her memories of her childhood. It's just sort of sad and awful.
There's actually some really decent descriptions of Williamsburg. The author is not without talent.
Meg and Kerry have to give speeches at the exhibition. Meg is a natural, of course, and Kerry keeps screwing up.
And on the first day, although they're both nervous, Meg gets over her nerves super-quick. Then, once Kerry gets into it, Meg just sits around and sketches while Kerry does the tour/demonstration/speaking.
Meg figures out there's a doll in Paris and just... doesn't tell Kerry for a while. Which is a total dick move, but just exactly what I'm starting to expect from her.

The cover: Is not really that mockable. Although I do wonder why Meg is trying to smother a baby with a pink blanket.

Wednesday Moment - From the mouths of babes

2010-05-19T21:51:00.000+12:00

I spent last weekend at the Writers and Readers Festival where I was able to listen to a wide range of authors discuss a wide range of books. One of the best talks I went to was given by authors Rachel King and Paula Morris, at which Paula Morris talked about (among other things) her latest young adult novel, Ruined, a sort of ghost-story-slash-murder-mystery set in New Orleans.

One of her favourite letters, she said, that she had a received from a reader was from a twelve-year-old boy, who asked her if she could please write a sequel to Ruined set in New York, "But don't call it Ruined 2."

It's nice to know that children still have better taste in titles than movie producers, and Ruined is now on my to-be-read pile.

"George knew that Nancy and mystery were never far apart."

2010-05-16T11:13:00.009+12:00

Nancy Drew Mystery Stories #5
The Secret of Shadow Ranch

The Case:
Nancy touches down in Arizona, where she's going to be spending some time on Shadow Ranch, owned by Bess and George's Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet. George and Bess meet Nancy with the news that there's a mystery at the ranch, and Uncle Ed might not let them stay for long unless Nancy can solve it. Protip to Uncle Ed: if you do not want a mystery at your ranch, don't call it Shadow Ranch. Call it "Happy Hippos" or something. No self-respecting detective would take on a case called "The Secret of Happy Hippos Ranch".

Turns out that Uncle Ed only purchased the ranch recently and has been trying to do it up, but so many things have been going wrong that he thinks it must be sabotage. Then, one night, the ghostly apparition of a horse appeared.

Supposedly it's the horse of the outlaw, Dirk Valentine, who was shot by the then-sheriff after he started romancing the sheriff's daughter. Dirk swore that his horse would haunt Shadow Ranch for evermore. He sounds kind of lazy, to be honest. Why not just haunt it himself? I call animal abuse.

While the cousins are explaining this, some old guy steals Nancy's knitting bag. She finds it again almost straight away, and wonders if he'd been snooping for some reason. Then the girls find him dropping a note into their car. The note reads Keep away from Shadow Ranch. Subtle. Nancy decides that clearly someone is trying to chase the ranch's new owners off the property, and thinks it was probably an inside job.

The girls give chase, but lose the note-dropping, wool-stealing weirdo, and start the long drive to the ranch instead. Bess suddenly remembers that there's another mystery they haven't told Nancy about. Their cousin Alice's father went missing six months ago, after a bank robbery. The media has hinted that he may have been involved in the robbery, but Alice refuses to believe it. Nancy agrees to help. Now, what is the likelihood that these two, completely separate, mysteries somehow end up being related? Pretty unlikely, right? I'm sorry I even brought it up.

Naturally, some crazy shit goes down during the drive. The girls are hit by a sandstorm - Nancy's excellent driving keeps them on the road - and have to make a quick stop to make sure the car's OK (and reapply their lipstick - nothing erodes make-up like a desert storm!). Bad news: the car's radiator is stuffed, and the car keeps overheating. Worse news: even though the girls thought they had brought two flasks of water, they've already drunk one, and the other one is myseriously empty! Good news: at least their make-up is flawless. Thank God for ColourStay.

The girls contemplate death from broken car and/or dehydration for a while, but they're saved by one of the workers from the ranch, Dave Gregory. (He's tall and handsome, of course.) Dave tells them off for not bringing water, and also calls them "dudes" which I guess is cowboy talk. George protests that one of the other cowboys, Shorty Steele, had said he'd fill their flasks, and Dave's eyes narrow ominously.

At the ranch, Nancy is almost attacked by a farm dog whose name is, um, Apache Chief. Since I recently read a book where not one, but two cats were called 'N-word' this doesn't appal me as much as it might otherwise. Nancy stands her ground and the dog calms down and decides to become her best friend. I add "animal whisperer" to my rapidly growing list of Nancy's skills. Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet warmly welcome Nancy to the ranch, especially now she's proven she's not bad for a "tenderfoot". At dinner, Shorty denies agreeing to fill the girls' flasks, and Nancy is pretty sure he's full of shit, although her phrasing is slightly different.

Nancy decides to look at the warning note she got earlier, and Bess digs through Nancy's knitting bag to retrieve it. Surprise! There's a second warning note tied around a rattlesnake's rattle. It's even conveniently labelled, Second warning. You know, just in case Nancy had lost count, or had thought that she'd absent-mindedly put part of a dead snake in her own knitting bag. Nancy doesn't seem particularly bothered. Even though she lies awake that night, it's because she's thinking about Dave Gregory, not about the people who are threatening to kill her. Well, he is tall and handsome, so I can't really blame her for that.

Nancy and the cook both see an intruder, and the cook is positive that he's entered the kitchen. But there's no way out of the kitchen - except through a convenient trapdoor which apparently doesn't lead to anywhere beyond the basement. Uncle Ed, Nancy and Dave go down to the basement to find him, but there's no one there. Dave tells Nancy that he wasn't in the bunkhouse when the intruder arrived because he was doing "extra sleuthing", which Nancy thinks is pretty suspicious.

The next morning, the water isn't running - someone's dicked over the pump. The clay around the pump is red - and the same clay appears on both Dave and Shorty's boots. Dave offers to go into town to collect parts to repair the pump, and says he'll give Nancy a lift as well. When Nancy brings George along he gets all grumpy and Nancy can't work out why. Apparently Nancy is good at everything except noticing when cowboys have a crush on her.

In town, Nancy pays a visit to the sheriff, and I almost fall asleep because for a book jam-packed with action this scene is ridiculously dull. Nancy, sensing my mood, stops a burglary inside a gift shop. Some guy wearing a black kerchief over his face is busy scooping jewellery into a bag as Nancy walks past. Nancy stops him, of course, and the shop's owner is overjoyed even though Nancy doesn't manage to catch the thief. The shop's owner is Mary Deer, and she's Indian. You can tell she's Indian, because she's described as Indian right there on the page. Also on the next page, and the page after that. On every page, basically.

Mary Deer: she's an Indian!

Mary Deer wants to give Nancy something to thank her, and produces an old-fashioned watch on a fleur-de-lis pin which the outlaw Dirk Valentine gave to his sweetheart, Frances Humber. Mary points out Valentine's symbol - a heart - and tells Nancy that apparently he left a treasure for Frances that she never received. Rumour is that Valentine's fortune is buried somewhere on Shadow Ranch. Could that have anything to do with the shit going down on the ranch? Probably! Nancy plays with the watch for a while, and somehow manages to open up a secret compartment with a message inside. The message says, green bottle in-. Green bottle in where? Nancy doesn't know, but despite the fact that she has the whole world to search through, she doesn't seem particularly worried.

That night, the phantom horse returns. Lead by Shorty, everyone gives chase, and while they're gone someone turns over Nancy's room, searching for the watch. Nancy is wearing the watch, so she's not too upset. She tries to follow the horse's tracks (prints?) but Shorty produces a short-cut which somehow loses the trail. I would not trust Shorty as far as I could throw him, and I throw like a girl. Also, no one seems to be suspicious of him, and when Nancy ever brings up the fact that this has to be an inside job Uncle Ed gets shirty. Jeez, no wonder he needs an eighteen-year-old to solve this thing for him.

Alice sees a picture that Nancy bought from Mary Deer's shop, and decides that her father must have drawn it. Everyone else thinks she's still in denial about him being dead, and also a crook. Still, Nancy gets the name of the artist from Mary and learns that he lives in a cabin up in the mountain, and later she organises a horse ride for the four girls to go and meet him. There's nobody at the cabin, but there is a half-finished picture - another by Alice's father. Then, suddenly - a flash flood! Nancy, George, and Alice's horses are happy to swim across the now-swollen river, but Bess's horse isn't trained for it. Nancy has to go back for her and her horse. Which... doesn't make any sense to me. Bess's horse is happy to swim, but only if its lead? Admittedly, I know jack-all about horses. Plus, Dave is so impressed by Nancy's heroism that he actually apologises to her for being such a jerk. Nancy finds this somewhat suspicious. Then he locks her in stable, which she finds even more suspicious.

Nancy pries open a window with a crowbar, and as she climbs out she notices a light on in the spring-house, where the ranch gets its water from. She rushes over, and even though she doesn't see anyone leave the spring-house is empty by the time she gets there. Nancy realises there must be a secret passage from the spring house to the cellar. Along with Bess and George, she finds a false floor under one of the vats in the spring-house, and goes down through it to the cellar, where she discovers... Dave Gregory!

Dave freely admits that he's been looking for treasure, but denies being the phantom horse or sabotages the farm. Turns out he's a descendant of Frances Humber. His family has Valentine's will, and the missing part of Nancy's clue - the word cellar - and as they're hard up financially he thought it was about time they actually looked for it. Dave apologises for being such a dick, and says that he's caught someone else snooping from time to time - Shorty.

Dave tells them more of Frances and Valentine's story. They were meant to meet at the spring-house one last time, but the Sheriff lay in wait for him and shot the outlaw dead. When he came to tell Frances the news, she was lighting a lamp. Nancy wonders why she was lighting a lamp, when surely she must have heard the shots, and wonders if she'd found the green bottle and was hiding it. The girls ask Aunt Bet if there are any lamps left from the Humber ranch, and sure enough, there's one with a green bottle inside.

It took Nancy some time to work out which lamp contained the green glass bottle.

There's a letter from Valentine to Frances inside the bottle. Nancy starts to read it, but just then the power goes out. It's been cut, as have the phonelines. Nancy suspects that the ranch's enemies are after the new palamino horses. George and Bess hurry off to find Dave, and Nancy runs into ranch-hand Tex. Together they discover the Bud, who was meant to be guarding the horses, has gone missing. Then the phantom horse appears, and Nancy is determined to catch it. She chases it on horseback, but it runs right through the palaminos, and her own horse starts and throws her. Nancy blacks out.

Nancy comes-to to the news that the fences keeping in the palaminos have been cut. The men ride off to find the stray horses, and Nancy returns to the house to read the rest of Valentino's letter. It says that the treasure is hidden in the ranch's "oldest dwelling". Aunt Bet tells her that that's the house that they're in, but the girls are unable to find anything by searching.

Nancy and Alice decide to take another ride up to the mountsin cabin to find Alice's father. Shorty offers to saddle up their horses for them, and when Nancy gets on hers it starts bucking wildly. Tex quickly finds a nettle under the blanket, but Shorty denies all knowledge. As no one has any proof, they let him go, and Nancy and Alice ride to the cabin. It's opened by the man who gave Nancy her two warning notes. He claims to be the artist, but he refers to the pastel drawing as "paintings", and Nancy knows he's full of crap. It also confirms that whoever has Alice's father is also messed up in the ranch sabotage.

Nancy and Alice return to the ranch to get ready for the rodeo, barbeque and square dance that is planned for that evening. Dave is taking Nancy, and Bud and Tex are conveniently taking George and Bess. I forget which is taking which but they're pretty much interchangeable anyway. While waiting for the rodeo to start, Nancy is told there's a phonecall for her. As she excuses herself to take it, she's grabbed by two men - Mr Bursey, the fake artist, and Mr Diamond, the man who may have burgled Mary's store.

Luckily, on the very next page Bess and George demand the men let her go, and Nancy is free - but the men escape. Nancy worries that they'll never get caught, and gets a brainwave. After the dance, while the master of ceremonies is speaking, Nancy gets up on the stage and announces that the men of Shadow Ranch are going to go digging for Valentine's treasure the next morning. Shorty tries to find out what she meant, but Nancy won't tell.

The men set out the next morning on horseback, with an extra horse for the treasure. Nancy and the girls also set out, heading in the opposite direction. Nancy is sure she knows where the treasure really is - in a set of cliff houses, up Shadow Mountain. They're not part of the ranch - but they were when Valenting wrote his note. First, they head for the artist's cabin. It's empty once again, but Nancy is sure there must be a secret passage somewhere. There is, and it leads straight up to the rundown cliff houses. There they find Alice's father, bound on the floor. And they also find Valentine's secret hideout - and his treasure!

Nancy lights a fire to signal to the men that they've found it, but Mr Diamond appears, telling her that even though the gang started off following the ranch workers, they saw the sherriff following and realised it was a trap. They saw Nancy leave the house, and trapped Bess and George - and the treasure - inside. Nancy uses every delaying tactic she knows, then starts to play the gang members off against each other. She gets confessions from Bursey and Shorty, and Diamond angrily threatens to kill everyone. But before he can, Dave and the others arrive, having seen Nancy's signal fire go out.

Conclusion: Alice's father interrupted the gang when they were robbing his bank, so they took him with them so he wouldn't identify him. Why not just kill him straight away? Mr Diamond found out about Valentine's treasure while talking to Mary Deer, and they decided to stick around to try and find it. Oh, and the phantom horse trick was done by painting a horse with phospheresent paint, and then shining a light on it, adding crulety to animals to the gang's many crimes. Their biggest crime? Stupidity. In the time it took them to not find any of the clues to the treasure, and not find the treasure itself, they could easily have robbed a couple more banks and be off somewhere nice, living the high life. Instead, they're in jail, Dave gets the treasure, and there's a horse somewhere dying very slowly of radiation poisoning. (This might not be true. I don't actually know anything about science.)

Case notes:

This time, Nancy's hair isn't reddish-blonde, but titian. My good friend wikipedia informs me that this is more of a brownish-orange.
...and Bess is only "slightly plump"...
...and, just in case you were worried, George may be tomboyish, but she's attractive too.
Then again, the sandwich shop at the airport is also described as attractive. I'm thinking our author just needed a decent thesaurus.
The book's setting is really just an excuse to get the characters to unronically use the word "pardner". And it gets old real fast.
Mary Deer "was wearing a vivid red beaded dress and had a glossy braid over each shoulder". Well, of course. How else would people know she was Native American?
Valentine is so romanticised. I find it hard to believe that any real outlaw would go around wooing sherriff's daughters and drawing hearts on his horse. Real outlaws would be raping and pillaging.
So, now Nancy's a good knitter, an excellent driver, a baker of delicious chocolate cakes and a natural on horseback. Bess, on the other hand, fails even to throw a lassoo.
On the other hand, Bess does set up Alice with Tex's brother, Jack. George, on the other hand, contributes approximately nothing to the entire story.
The name of the nearest town is Tumbleweed. Tumbleweed.
Poor Ned only gets a one line mention in this book, in which Nancy says that he's in Europe and won't be back until after she returns to River Heights. This seems a little harsh, given that she's busy getting her cowgirl on with Dave, but in the original run of the series he didn't make his first appearance until book #7. Obviously the line was added in later, to explain his absence from the plot.
On one of their trips into town, the girls all buy "colorful squaw dresses". They then go to a Spanish restaurant and eat tacos, that well-known Spanish dish.
In case you're wondering just exactly what one does at a square dance, here's one I prepared earlier:

The Cover:
This book should have been titled "The Mystery of Why Nancy Thought That Shirt Was a Good Idea". She's rocking that perm, though, and I appreciate a girl who can stay on a bucking horse without blinking an eyelid. Still, this is hardly the most exciting cov oh shit it's a ghost horse.

Friday Moment: Recipe for insta-crush on China Mieville

2010-05-07T23:00:00.000+12:00

If you have a world in which Orcs are evil, and you depict them as evil, I don't know how that maps onto the question of "political correctness." However, the point is not that you're misrepresenting Orcs (if you invented this world, that's how Orcs are), but that you have replicated the logic of racism, which is that large groups of people are "defined" by an abstract supposedly essential element called "race," whatever else you were doing or intended. And that's not an innocent thing to do. Maybe you have a race of female vampires who destroy men's strength. They really do operate like that in your world. But I think you're kidding yourself if you think that that idea just appeared ex nihilo in your head and has nothing to do with the incredibly strong, and incredibly patriarchal, anxiety about the destructive power of women's sexuality in our very real world.

Source.

I've never read any of his work before, but clearly now I need to.

"You have enough adventures in one day, Nancy, to last most people a week."

2010-05-01T19:15:00.000+12:00

The Double Jinx Mystery
Nancy Drew Mystery Stories #50

As I'm sure your own supreme detecting skills have already noticed, the cover claims this is book 38. When the series was reprinted in paperback, they were all done out of order - but I've decided to stick with the original numbering. So, it's book 50. Just roll with it.

The Case:
Our story begins with Nancy talking over her latest mystery with her friends, Bess Marvin and George Fayne. For future reference, George has a "boyish figure" which I guess means she's flat-chested and short dark hair, while Bess is "plump, pretty, and blonde" which is short-hand for "the one the guys want: may have boobs". Nancy's father, lawyer Carson Drew, has been asked to un-jinx someone. He's already had several threatening phonecalls from someone who promises to curse him, which worries Bess although George thinks it's ridiculous. Being the pretty one also means you're superstitious, because only girly ladies are that silly!

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it seems that someone has left a (dead, stuffed) bird on the doorstep. In an incredibly lucky coincidence, Nancy's housekeeper, Hannah, knows all about birds, because studying them is her hobby. This will probably never be mentioned again. Turns out the bird is a wryneck, used in ancient times to put a curse on people! Nancy immediately leaps to the totally rational conclusion that there's a bomb in the house! There isn't! This is only the first chapter and I've already almost used up my exclamation quota!

A bomb, possibly.

Back to the mystery: Carson's client is Mr Thurston, who owns a bird sanctuary/aviary, but the High Rise Construction Company want to get it condemned so that they can develop their land. At this point, I laugh like a loon over the world's most unimaginatively named development company. Nancy and pals head over to the Thurstons' aviary and immediately stumble across some dude trying to cut open one of the bird cages. Nancy and George chase him, but lose him.

Bess is caught by Thurston's assistant, Rausch, by the open cage, and the girls are accused of being the perpetrators. George gets angry, but Nancy manages to save the situation. I know if a 18-year-old girl told me to "just calm down" I'd be perfectly willing to listen to what she said, and then believe her crazy tales about some mysterious guy with wire cutters. Nevertheless, Rausch does believe her, and introduces her to Mr Thurston, who then shows Nancy and pals around the aviary. Nancy is surprised to see a wryneck (that is neither dead nor stuffed) named Petra there, and wonders if its owner, a Eurasian girl named Kamenka Nolastnamesky, has anything to do with the mystery.

The girls meet Mrs Thurston, who is an invalid and incredibly superstitious, and Kamenka, who is quick to take offence when Bess inelegantly asks what she knows about wrynecks and jinxes. Nancy, of course, would never have been so gauche.

With her father's help Nancy determines that the dead wryneck came from Harper University. Where Kamenka is studying. And only Kamenka has recently borrowed the dead wryneck! Um, why, if she has her own? That doesn't make any kind of sense. Nancy then sees Kamenka talking to the same guy who was trying to break into the bird cages, but ol' Kammy claims she was just asking him what he was doing on the property. Despite this incredibly suspicious behaviour, Nancy doesn't think that Kammy could be involved, because she's such a lovely person. Nancy, sometimes seemingly nice people are employed by development companies to place curses on people, OK? And sometimes seemingly nice people are cannibalistic killers.

The local police let Nancy look through their sketches of wanted criminals with no supervision, and Nancy draws a beard on one of them. The sketches, I mean, not the police. Instead of telling her off for tampering with police property, the chief of police identifies him as the mystery bird-freer. His name is Slick Fingers O'Mayley. Of course it is.

Nancy calls her "special friend", Ned, and asks him to help her do some sleuthing. Apparently it's the summer holidays and Ned is selling insurance, but he happily gives it up help Nancy. He also accompanies her to the Thurstons', where Mrs Thurston is confronted by a ghostly, leaping spectre, who gives her a piece of paper with a jinx on it. She pretty much goes into hysterics, and Ned and Nancy offer to help the couple out while she recovers. This is a bad idea, since Ned gets knocked unconscious while Nancy is cooking dinner.

Nancy figures that Mrs Thurston's spectre could be a ballerina, based on the fact that he leaps. You know what else he could be? A long-jumper. The two N's head to the ballet. Nancy finds out the mystery leaper is probably Merv Marvel, who was kicked out of the company for unsavoury behaviour, but who had a fascination for superstitions and jinxes. The company director teases Nancy into dancing for him, and she turns out to be so good that professional dancers stop what they're doing to ooo and aaaah. I can only assume Nancy's dancing resembles Scott Hasting's:

Ned comes down with bird 'flu (actually, ornithosis which is really a thing even though I assumed it was made up) and Nancy gets really worried about him, which I can't mock because it's super cute. Despite being completely delirious, Ned realises that if he was deliberately made ill, then Slick Fingers will be sick too, so Nancy tries to find the hospital that is treating him. She not only discovers where O'Malley is being treated, but she also discovers he has a tattoo shaped like the jinx that the leaping ghoul gave to Mrs Thurston.

Since the High Rise Construction Company can't have the aviary condemned without the local council's approval, Nancy et al. do their best to convince the councillors to vote against the condemnation. Bess and George take it upon themselves to visit one of the councillors, a newspaper owner, themselves, and he shows interest in their proposal that the development be redesigned to include the aviary. He considers running some editorials in favour of the idea, and offers to show the girls around the offices. Everything is going swell until some little punk covers the girls with glue and red ink. Presumably some fashion journalist disapproved of their sweater-and-jeans combo. Personally, I think Bess can work it, but I'd like to see George in something a little more feminine ocassionally. She'd look fierce in a maxi dress.

Meanwhile, some crazy shit has been going down with Kammy Foreignerovich. First she packed up and leaves the Thurstons for no apparent reason; then she gets accused of stealing from her college; then her wryneck disappears. Nancy quickly clears up the confusion over the stolen items - Kammy's professor didn't think for a second that she was the culprit. It turns out that Kammy only left the Thurstons' because she thought she was bringing them bad luck. And, lastly, Petra reappears - with a missing heirloom of Kammy's taped under her wing. The plot thickens!

Mr Drew tells Nancy that all councillors but one have been convinced by her plan to include the aviary in the new development. The only one left stands to gain some serious money out of the new housing, and yet the fact that he has a vested interest in the deal is at no time pointed out as being the gateway to corruption. I guess political corruption doesn't exist in River Heights. Nancy offers to take his nine grandchildren to the aviary, and squeezes them all (plus Bess and George) into the car. She's immediately pulled over by a cop, but luckily the combined power of Nancy' wholesomeness and the children's lovableness is more than enough to assuage the policeman's need to arrest Nancy for breaking the law and endangering the life of each of her eleven passengers.

The children love the aviary, and mention to Nancy that not only have they seen the same dancing spook as Mrs Thurston, but they ocassionaly get visited by a "Mr Mervman" who threatens to put a jinx on them. Nancy, not being a complete and utter moron, assumes this is Merv Marvel. The kids love the aviary, and Nancy hopes their enthusiasm will convince their grandfather that it's worth keeping.

Nancy's tackled the councillors, but now she wants to talk to the High Rise Construction Company, too. Her and Ned go to the site where the company is currently working, and one of the workers suggests they have look over the river which runs next to the site. Then he pushes them into the river, and they go over a waterfall. Luckily, not only do they survive, but a cop saw them go over, and they get him to arrest the worker who tried to kill them.

Back at the aviary, Rausch tells Nancy that he's just chased off someone who was trying to poison the birds. Upon investigating, Nancy discovers that whoever it was dropped an envelope full of expensive rings. Assuming he'll be back to find his lost jewellry, she contacts the police, who arrive in time to snatch the guy - Slick Fingers O'Malley.

Then, finally, the scene which is on the front cover actually happens. Nancy goes for a stroll around the aviary by herself and Merv Marvel kidnaps her. He's described as tall and handsome. Nancy, isn't it a little early to be suffering from Stokholm Syndrome? Merv admits that he was working for Mr Wright, the boss at the construction company, but he wants to stop because Mr Wright "isn't honest". Slick Fingers was the one that stole the stuffed wryneck, trying to scare Nancy off the case. The fact that she wasn't actually on the case at that point seems to be irrelevent. Merv takes quite a fancy to Nancy, and takes her to an old barn to be initiated into his cult.

Help for Nancy isn't too far away. Ned finds her and Merv's footprints, and Nancy's friends and the police follow them to the barn. Nancy... somehow escapes, and tells the police that Merv clearly needs psychiatric treatment more than he needs jail, and that he's a member of a cult which scams money out of people. This cult thing seems to have come out of nowhere, but whatever, I can role with it. As for what happened to Nancy in the barn - well, who knows what really went on in there? But I imagine it went something like this:

So, to conclude: Mr Wright, of the High Rise Construction Company, employed Slick Finger and Merv Marvel to do his dirty work. He also instructed one of his employees to push Ned and Nancy over that waterfall. Apparently he was involved in the set up of the cult, as a little side project to his fraud and coersion.

The councillors decide to go with another building company, one which doesn't want to condemn the aviary, and Bess and George have magically talked Mrs Thurston out of all of her superstitious beliefs.

Kammy's problems were actually unrelated - a boy that she had been friends with was messing with her, probably because she didn't want to be friends with someone who'd steal her pets and her jewelry as a joke. Nancy apologises for suspecting her, and gives her a kiss. Which is possibly more than she's ever given Ned. I'm just saying.

Case notes:

Nancy is "an attractive girl of eighteen with blue eyes and reddish-blonde hair." Thank goodness they mentioned she was attractive: I'd hate to think that I was reading about someone who was in any way physically flawed.
Mr Drew is constantly described as "tall, hands and distinguished-looking". I strongly hope that was just the narrative and not Nancy's thoughts on the subject. I don't want the Drews going all Flowers in the Attic on me.
I thought I remembered Nancy having a Mustang, but here it's only described as a "convertible".
When Ned and Nancy speak to one of the councilllors, he thinks they're there to get a marriage license. Ned seems pretty upset that they're not.
Ned and Nancy are a seriously awesome couple in this book: instead of Ned getting all "I don't want you to get into danger" protector-ish, he admires her for her intelligence and sleuthing abilities.
Hannah and Nancy also have quite a sweet relationship. Despite effectively being the Drew's servant, Hannah mothers Nancy and encourages her when she's down. Awww.
Merv Marvel sounds more like a kids' party magician than a professional dancer and part-time spook impersonator.
One woman Nancy talks to is surprised that such a "lovely and wholesome girl would be trying to track down a criminal".
Everytime someone brings up a curse, or is cursed, Nancy or one of her friends say, "Of course, we're not superstitious." I'm sure this was probably intended as an Important Message About Superstition for America's Youths, but it comes across more like they're trying to convince themselves of the fact.
When Kammy thinks she's going to be arrested for being a thief Nancy tells her, "Here in America people are given a chance to prove their innocence before they're arrested." Not like whatever crazy Eurasian country you're from, Kammy!
There is so, so much information about birds in this book. Someone clearly had a long, hard read of the encyclopaedia before writing it.
This entire recap is longer than any of the chapters in the book. And ever single chapter ends on a cliffhanger (apart from the last one). No wonder I'm so exhausted after reading it.
High Rise Construction Company. I know I already made fun of that name, but I think it bares repeating.

The cover:
I've assumed that's Merv Marvel kidnapping Nancy. Nancy's eyes look quite dead, although I suspect that 50 books in she's been kidnapped so often that it doesn't really excite her any more. That also seems like a pretty uncomfortable way to kidnap a person; at any moment Nancy may stop doing jazz hands and poke out one of his eyes. Merv's legs are at a slightly awkward angle, too - they look like they belong on someone else's body. Still, that bird is enjoying Nancy's yellow cardigan and matching shoes.

Presenting: Teen Detectives, Inc.!

2010-04-23T19:15:00.000+12:00

If there's anything my twenty-something years of reading have taught me, it's that if you have a crime that's been committed (whether it's murder, or arson, or burglary) and if you have a mystery to be solved (lost treasure, or voices in the night, or haunted towers) then there's no point calling in the police. No, the best possible people to get in on the case are: teenagers. This year, my focus is going to be on mocking - that is to say, celebrating - the world of teen detectives.

March 2009 to ~~March~~ April 2010, I was doing my 52 Book Challenge, wherein I read a book that was completely new to me, every week, for a year. That's now done and dusted, and I was left wondering what to with my blog in 2010. This year is thesis year for me, which means I have less time for pleasure reading then I would otherwise, but I can see no reason why I couldn't be spending my time reading some relatively short books and blogging about them. I'm probably not going to be updating as *cough* regularly as I have for the past year, but I'll do my best, and hopefully it will be a lot of fun.

So, update your bookmarks with the blog's new name, and come hang out with me (and Nancy, and Frank, and Trixie, and Timmy the Dog, and Meg, and the BSC...) while I give some in-depth analysis of these detectives and their mysteries. And by 'in-depth analysis' I mean 'recapping and eye-rolling'. The first post, The Double Jinx Mystery, will be coming soon.

It's going to be a good year.

Book 52 - "Blood oozed across the top and down the front of the seat, adding to that pooled around the gas and brake pedals..."

2010-04-20T21:23:00.008+12:00

The last book! But not the end of this blog. Watch this space.

In the mean time, thanks to everyone who has been reading - I hope you've been enjoying following me as much as I've enjoyed the readin' and writin' (no 'rithmatic, luckily.)

Title: Grave Secrets (2002)

Author: Kathy Reichs

Why this book:
Because I watch the tv series Bones, which is very-only-vaguely based on Kathy Reichs' Temperance Brennan novels. Of which this is one! Also: they're best sellers, and I usually enjoy even the most turgid of best sellers.

What's it about?
Dr Temperance Brennan is a forensic anthropologist - that is, she looks at very dead bodies to try and understand how they lived (and how they died). She is currently working in Guatamala, trying to identify the bodies of peasants killed in a bloody massacre so that they can be given a proper burial. While there, a local policeman who knows she has worked with police before asks for Temperance's help on a case involving the dead body of a runaway teen found in a sewerage tank.

Neither job is going to be easy. There are plenty of people who want the past to stay buried - people with power, people who are now living respectable lives who don't want their former crimes revealed. People who see Temperance as a threat. People who may have just killed one of her friends and colleagues.

Temperance is stubborn, and she's determined to find the truth. But will it be at the expense of her own life?

The Good and the Bad
This is one of those books that just didn't click for me. I read furiously through the first half, and then I lost interest in it and had to really push myself through the second half. Actually, I think that had less to do with the book and more to do with how hectic my life got while I was reading it, but when I really want to read something I'll read it, come hell or high water. Grave Secrets just didn't quite make it.

Not that there isn't plenty to like about the book! I don't really think Tempe Brennan is the most interesting of characters, not to me personally, but she is a highly intelligent older woman who still enjoys (several!) romantic relationships, which is something nice to see (and probably part of the reason the series appeals to so many readers). The science-y bits in it are, as far as I understand, almost always right, as Kathy Reichs was (is?) herself in fact a forensic anthropologist. And the dig is based on one which Reichs herself attended, which just helps to make it more believable and horrifying.

I suspect I actually would have enjoyed this book more if I'd already "met" the characters, as a fair it of the non-mystery aspects of the book involve Tempe considering her relationship with her male detective friend, and I just wasn't that interested in reading about it - but if I'd read more of the background to the series, I expect I would have been super into it. I mean, the guy does sound pretty hot.

So should I read it or what?
I am decided "meh" about this book. I can't recommend it, but I don't... not recommend it. You know what I do recommend though? Bones, starting at season 3. It is ridiculous and hilarious, and I love it.

Video of the day:

Book 51: Old Peter's Russian Tales / Google and Me

2010-04-03T21:41:00.005+13:00

As I'm coming up to the end of my 52 Book Challenge - one book to go after this! - I thought I'd share some of the better searches people have used to find my blog. I've been subscribing to a couple of google stats thingies for a while now - sadly not all year, or I suspect I'd have some ever better results. I use the word 'better' lightly.

Firstly, there's the people who have stumbled across my blog while trying to do their homework. How do I know they were trying to do their homework? Well, because they used to following searches:

an excerpt from agatha christie's book that explains her life but in diferant characters
how was yu-fang able to be happy even though she and dr. xia lived in abject proverty in wild swans
how does yu-fang (the grandmother) escape her life as a concubine?
what does the author think of the kuomintang rule in the book wild swans
where does a pocket full of rye take place?
sparknotes for the graveyard book
waht's bad about dreams of my russian summer

and my personal favourite: in what country did the bloodhound invented

Children, Auntie Helen has a piece of advice for you, and this is it: the best place to find out what happened in a book is to read the Goddamn book. Also, here is some other advice: just typing your homework question verbatim into google will probably not find you the best website for answering it. I mean, you might end up here.

I'm giving this advice for a reason: sometimes people land here looking for some! They want to know what would happen if while visiting a friend at his house, you accidentally broke an expensive vase. They want to know why all redheads look the same or what guys notice about you within 6 seconds. And they want to know how did you notice if it is manual book. If my blog has managed to help just one of these desperate souls, then that has made my life all the richer.

Other stats coming soon, possibly, if I think they're interesting. (They're probably only interesting to me.)

Title: Old Peter's Russian Tales (1916)

Author: Arthur Ransome

Why this book:
I read Arthur Ransome's childrens' adventure series, Swallows and Amazons, growing up, but it wasn't until I read a somewhat-mostly-partially fictionalised account of his own life in Blood Red, Snow White that I realised how truly badass he was. He was an Englishmen living in Russia at the time of the revolution who may have been a spy for the British, and may have been a spy for the Russians. He definitely married Trotsky's secretary, at any rate. Anyway, I was interested enough in Ransome's life in Russia to be interested in this book.

What's it about?
Old Peter's Russian Tales is basically a collection of Russian folktales, and was (I believe) instrumental in taking these stories to a foreign audience. Some of the stories may be familiar to readers, like the tales of Baba Yaga; others are a little more obscure, but fascinating nonetheless.

I'm particularly fond of Baba Yaga myself, but there are so many good stories in this slim volume that it's impossible to mention them all. Frost is similar to the story of Cinderella, only more people die (they don't mess around in Russian folktales). Little Master Misery is a morality tale of the good-poor-brother mean-rich-brother, but there's always something enjoyable about people getting what they deserve. Oh, and Who lives in the skull is great too. It's about some animals who... live in a skull. Until a bear squashes them. That's the whole story.

The Good and the Bad
One of the lovely things about this book is that it's written as a grandfather, Old Peter, telling the stories to Maroosia and Vanya, his granchildren, and in that way they're stories that are just dying to be read out loud, perfectly inkeeping with the idea that these would have traditionally been oral tales. There's also interruption in the stories as Maroosia and Vanya ask their grandfather questions; but in such a way that the narrative flow is steady. I also love that, when his grandchildren are too disbelieving of his stories, Old Peter insists that of course they're true - he knew one of the characters, or was at their wedding.

So should I read it or what?
If you like folktales and fairytales, then definitely; otherwise, it's not a book that's going to hold much interest to you. However! I do highly recommend Blood Red, Snow White by Marcus Sedgwick. Quite apart from starring Arthur Ransome, it's an interesting and readable account of the revolution, which does contain fictionalised scenes but is pretty good on most of the facts.

Book 50 - "...all the secret agents following each other round and round Geneva, all knowing each other by sight, and often ending up at the same bar"

2010-04-02T21:50:00.004+13:00

Title: Cat Among the Pigeons (1959)

Author: Agatha Christie

Why this book:
I, um, accidentally tripped into a second-hand bookshop, and then I bumped into a bookshelf and this book just happened to fall into my hands, and then as I was trying to get rid of it I dislodged my cash and it just flew onto the counter, and for some reason the bookseller thought I was trying to buy it, and I was too flustered to explain that that wasn't what I had intended to do at all. Honestly.

What's it about?
Murder most foul, of course!

In the fictional Middle Eastern country of Ramat, a revolution is about to take place. Warned ahead of time, Prince Ali Yusuf entrusts a very important package to his friend and pilot, Bob Rawlinson. Bob hides it away for safekeeping, then does his best to fly Ali to safety. But the plane is lost...

...and some months later, at his niece's school, a gymteacher is shot dead in the brand new Sport Pavilion. She won't exactly be missed, since she's very new and she's not very likeable, but for a school like Meadowbank reputation is everything, and having a murdered teacher in one's sport pavilion does not exactly increase the school roll. What exactly was Grace Springer doing there that night, and who would have a reason to kill her?

The school headmistress, the successful Miss Bulstrode, has felt since the beginning of term that something is wrong - but what? It's not just that one of her new staff members is a government spy, or that the Prince Ali Yusuf's former fiancee may get kidnapped at any time. Luckily, one of the school's best and brightest pupils, Julie Upjohn, knows just who to ask for help - a certain Belgian detective...

The Good and the Bad
I was always going to love a book which melded my two favourite genres - detective fiction and girls' boarding school stories - and Cat Among the Pigeons was everything I had wanted. Thrills! Murder! Tennis! I think I read the entire thing with a goofy grin on my face. The plotting, the insight into the characters, the twists and turns and red herrings, everything about this book screams that this is Christie at her best.

But - and this is a big but - this should never have been a Poirot novel. He only turns up more than halfway through the book, and feels like an interloper, an uncomfortable presence. He solves the mystery - of course - but the book simply feel imbalanced after he appears. I can't exactly blame Christie for Poirot's appearance. She was constantly being hounded to write more about him; she got to the point where she came to loathe her own creation (and even invented a fictional detective writer, who obviously represented herself, who similarly hated her most famous detective, obviously an outlet for Christie's frustration.) But she could have worked him more naturally into the story, if she had to have him, rather than have him appear at the end like a thunderstorm raining down the denouement on the unprepared reader.

Other issues? Well, there's some dodgy racial opinions going on - Ramat will never be a democracy because, it's implied, the people of Ramat aren't capable of understanding the benefits of it. Prince Ali Yusuf, of course, has the benefit of a superior Western education, which is why he wants to reform his country. A Middle Eastern country rejecting Western values could almost be a contemporary storyline - but the suggestion in Cat Among the Pigeons is that the prince's subjects simply aren't enlightened enough to want to change. Completely usual thinking for someone of Christie's age and era, I guess, but that doesn't make it grate any less.

I loved the melding of thriller and detective yarn, though - and, given that I also enjoyed Destination Unknown I'm definitely keen to read a few more of Christie's thrillers, however far-fetched they may be.

So should I read it or what?
The day I find a Christie I wouldn't recommend will be a traumatic day indeed.

Book 49 - "The thunder grumbled over the hills, like a man saying "And another thing…" twenty minutes after admitting he's lost the arguement."

2010-03-16T21:16:00.003+13:00

Title: And Another Thing (2009)

Author: Eion Colfer

Why this book:
Because it is the sixth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, and I have read every other of the five books.
What's it about?
At the end of the last book, written by the series' original author, Douglas Adams, Arthur Dent (the hero of the long-running series) died.

Well, sort of. Despite the Vogon's best efforts to eradicate the entire human race, Arthur, his daughter from another reality, and Trillian (also from an alternate reality, but not particularly different to the one Arthur had previously known and been in love with) are saved at the last minute (possibly accidentally) by the formerly two-headed Zaphod Beeblebrox.

If you haven't read the Hitchiker's Guide series, you are no doubt by now incredibly confused. Basically, here is what you need to know: Arthur Dent is, entirely by accident, frequently one of the last human beings left in the universe. This time, he finds that there is a human settlement left on a distant planet - that's good news. The bad news is that the Vogons - a bureaucratic and murderous alien race - are already on their way there to kill them. Meanwhile, Zaphod is having a little trouble with some Ancient Greek Gods, and Trillian has fallen in love with an immortal alien who would really like to die.

Can Arthur save the rest of his race? Can his daughter come to terms with her mother's new boyfriend? Can Zaphod make some serious money? And can Ford Prefect realise his dream of being seriously froody? Or is this the end for everyone... er, again?

The Good and the Bad
I was a little skeptical about this book, but only a little. The ending of its predecessor, Mostly Harmless, was so depressing that even if this book had been written by George Orwell during a particularly bad bout of toothache it could only be an improvement. My biggest worry was that Colfer would try too hard to ape Adams' writing style, and it would come out as flat and uninspired. Because that's happened to me once or twice before. I was only familiar with Colfer from his Artemis Fowl series, which was sci-fi, yes, and a lot of fun, but definitely aeons away from Adams' work.

Luckily, my fears were never to be realised. Colfer revels in a style that is entirely his own, but with a sense of humour which matches Adams' exactly. I actually laughed out loud while reading, which isn't exactly a frequent occurrence for me. He also manages to inject a small amount of humanity into the Vogons - well, into one of the Vogons - without it feeling like he's destroyed something that Adams created. Rather, Colfer has added something new and creative to the legion of Hitchhiker's canon.

The biggest problem I had with the book was to do with the actual layout of the text, not the writing itself. In Hitchhiker's tradition, the story is interspersed with excerpts from the famous intergalactic traveller's companion, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But in my copy of And Another Thing - I don't know if it was like this in every edition - the excerpts were only distinguishable from the story in that they were italicised. Reading that much italicised text was a little painful, and it actually felt like the story was being interrupted, rather than supplemented. Hopefully they'll do something a little different with it in future editions.

So should I read it or what?
There isn't any point reading it if you haven't read the rest of the series, of course, but a. you should read the rest of the series, and b. if you have, but you've been avoiding this one because it's not Adams, let go of your anger, young padawan, and give it a go. It's worth it.

Book 48 - "Things were very strange 'Back East' and even stranger 'Down South.'"

2010-02-25T21:29:00.004+13:00

Title: Roadstrips: A Graphic Journey Across America (2005)

Author: Pete Friedrich (ed.)

Why this book:
My brother-in-America sent it to me for Christmas.

What's it about?
Edited by Pete Friedrich, Roadstrips is a collection of comics - um, I guess basically the graphic equivalent of short stories - looking at different parts of America. It includes contributions by over twenty different 'alternative' cartoonists. The stories are divided by region - "Pacific Northwest", "The South", "East Coast" and so on, but are incredibly diverse in terms of art and story (and I'm not going to list them all here!)

The Good and the Bad
Like any anthology, there were some narrations that really appealed to me and some that didn't, and there were one or two that must have just gone straight over my head because I didn't get them at all. But none of them were bad - it was simply a matter of taste.

What is interesting is that this book was published in America's Bush Mach II years, and the feelings that are in a lot of the stories - helplessness, and hopelessness - already feel like they're part of a bygone era. However, just because the stories already feel a little 'of the past' doesn't mean they're not still moving - several of the stories dealing with the aftermath of September 11 had me in tears. Other works dealt with the huge cross-section of people in the States, family and belonging, and that whole 'What it means to be American' thing, but in a way that even a non-American could appreciate without rolling her eyes.

I loved being introduced to so many talented artists - the only one I knew before reading was the fabulous Keith Knight whose take on the 1992 Football World Cup is pretty hilarious - and taking in so many different points of view. The stand-out for me was probably Pat Redding Scanlon's heartland Q&A, simply because it made me laugh the hardest - one of her 'interviewees' answered the question, "Where is the Midwest?" with

"I consider Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, India, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Kansas, Nebraska, Wiskonsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Liverpool, England, to be Midwestern states. I scoff at the notion that Missouri is a Midwestern state because they want to be shown things, which makes them weird."

The other respondents are equally chuckle-worthy, but it was the inclusion of Liverpool that really did it for me.

So should I read it or what?
Yes, yes, yes. This is a beautiful book, and I recommend it to everyone.

Link of the day: Willow's blog post on the latest book-to-film, The Lightning Thief, and Recognition Rejection.

Book 47 - "All the stories we step into become part of our own story. Our pilgrimage."

2010-02-21T18:23:00.005+13:00

Title: Gatty's Tale (2006)

Author: Kevin Crossley-Holland

Why this book?
My mother recommended it to me.

So what's it all about?
Gatty's a field-girl, working the lands of Sir John de Caldicot - until he and his wife notice her singing. The Lady's sister is going on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and she wants Gatty as her second chambermaid, believing that the girl's voice will keep them safe on what is often a perilous journey.

The pilgrims are a mixed bunch - as well as Gatty there is her new mistress, Lady Gwynneth, a priest, a cook, a merchant, and others. They come from all walks of life, but Lady Gwynneth is determined that each and every member of the pilgrimage will contribute his or her best to the journey, and that if they pull together nothing will be able to go wrong.

Things go wrong, of course. Gatty gets lost in London on her very first day there. As the pilgrims start their journey they find themselves tricked and cheated; short of food; ill; in love; stuck at sea; and left behind in unknown territory. Yet they do, slowly, pull together, and Gatty becomes determined that one way or another, she and Lady Gwynneth will make it to the Holy Land.

The Good and the Bad
Gatty's Tale is, in fact, the fourth book in a series - or rather, a sequel to a trilogy. Crossley-Holland's Arthur trilogy follows a young lord, Arthur de Caldicot, who is given a seeing-stone through which he can see into a parallel world, where a boy who looks very much like him becomes Arthur of Round Table fame. I hadn't read the trilogy, but found that Gatty's Tale stood just fine on its own.

I started off not enjoying this book overly much, mostly because it took me until I was about halfway through the book to stop finding Gatty annoying long enough to actually start liking her. Her naivety was perhaps expected from a girl who had never been out of her own village before, but I still found it a little hard to believe that Gatty was so naive that she never realised that most of the men who approached her had intentions beyond those of just being friendly. Or perhaps it was realistic, for someone of her age and situation - but it was still incredibly frustrating to read about. However, once Gatty had finally learned about the harsh realities of the world, she somehow became more likeable - which sounds just awful, when I put it like that. I suppose it was more that she was forced to grow up, and her rather limited world-view was expanded into one that I could be sympathetic towards. She's also an incredibly strong character, right from the word 'go' - while she might have been a slow learner in that one respect, she was also adaptable, friendly, and had a stroppiness which was at times both charming and repelling.

In a way, the book seemed like a long, detailed plot device to get Gatty to a point where she could marry Arthur. She couldn't, obviously, as a peasant girl, but thanks to Lady Gwynneth leaving her title and lands to her (for no reason that made any real sense to me - surely there must have been someone she liked and trusted who she'd known a little longer than Gatty?). But to say that would be to downplay the vivid picture that Crossley-Holland draws of the almost impossible journey of pilgrims to the Holy Land in the Middle Ages, of the reactions of a large cross-section of people to foreign lands and customs who have never had to deal with such things before.

So should I read it or what?
Although I was dubious at first, I definitely enjoyed Gatty's Tale overall. It was nice to read a book set in this period and place which focused on pilgrims, rather than crusades. The books was shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal in 2008, so you don't just have to take my word for it: it's a story worth reading.

Book 46 - "'We'll give it tea-leaves next time. Carpets like tea-leaves.'"

2010-02-09T15:36:00.005+13:00

Title: The Phoenix and the Carpet (1904)

Author: E. Nesbit

Why this book:
Nesbits's book, The Railway Children, was one of the mainstays of my childhood, but I'd never read any of her fantasy works before, so I thought I'd give it a go.

So what's it all about?
It's the school holidays, and one family of children are impatient for Guy Fawkes' night. They decide to light one or two fireworks in the girls' bedroom, accidentally setting the rug on fire when they do so. Their mother buys a new rug, a second-hand one which arrives containing an unusual, glowing egg. The egg hatches into a phoenix, which in turn tells them that the carpet it arrived in is, in fact, a magical carpet that will take them anywhere they want to go.

The children are no strangers to bizarre magical happenings, having previously encountered a wish-granting Psammead in the book *Five Children and It*, and are excited to be able to go off adventuring again. They quickly find, however, that the carpet has limitations, when it strands them in a tower in the middle of nowhere. And the phoenix, although an intelligent creature, has its own problems - it's egotistical, and has a habit of accidentally setting things on fire.

However, these problems are minor compared to the trouble the children face when their baby brother, nicnamed Lamb, crawls onto the carpet and flies away. It's hard enough hiding a phoenix and a rapidly deteriorating magical rug from their parents, without trying to explain why the baby has disappeared...

The Good and the Bad
This was, to me, a book which has badly dated. The actual adventures of the children, and even the children themselves, are fine - they're squabbly, at time bratty, but essentially goodhearted - but certain views of the writer (reflecting, I gues, societal views of the time) definitely overshadowed a lot of the fun of the book. Most notably, the racism inherent in the children's trips - one trip of theirs is to a tropical islnd, where the people are simply described as savages. Not only, in fact, are they savages who are given no traits beyond the (dark) colour of their skin, but when they meet the children's Cook, they immediately bow down and worship her as their queen, which made my teeth itch.

There's also the token bit of sexism, although no more than in most early twentieth century chilren's books. The two sisters, Anthea and Jane, are between them the kindest of the children, the only ones capable of sewing, the most easily frightened, and in need of male protection. They do, however, fully participate in all of the adventures, and since these traits are split between the two of them they aren't nearly as bad as, say, Anne from the Famous Five (who I love, but really, talk about overkill with the "feminine" qualities.)

So should I read it or what?
Once again I'm going to say read something of the author's, but not this book. The Railway Children, as I said, was an important part of my childhood, but as I haven't read it recently I can't really comment on whether the -isms are as bad there as they are here (although I suspect not). Most of Nesbit's works can be found here, at Project Gutenberg, and I do recommend checking them out.

Link of the day:

Book 45 - "I don't know how you stay in business, Warshawski. You seem to reason with your endocrines instead of your synapses."

2010-02-06T21:55:00.004+13:00

An update, just three days since the last! I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

Title: Tunnel Vision (1994)

Author: Sara Paretsky

Why this book?
I've read a few of Paretsky's books and enjoyed them, on the whole. This one I picked up in a second hand bookshop when I was hunting for Agatha Christies.

So what's it all about? V. I. Warshawski is a P.I. with more than a few problems. Looming largest is the fact that the building she works in is falling apart, and she can't afford to move. One of her clients has suggested - well, OK, decided - that she's going to be in charge of the rehabilitation of his delinquent college son. There's a family of homeless kids living in her basement who are too scared to seek the help of the state. Oh, yeah, and the dead body of a former law school buddy's wife has just turned up in her office.

Who killed Deirdre? Her husband, Fabian, who likes to keep up appearances when guests are visiting, but beats his wife and abuses his kids behind closed doors? Or her daughter Emily, whose own wants and needs have been suppressed for years, and who can't remember exactly what happened that night? Or is this something else, something even more sinister - something to do with the construction company that V.I. has been trying to investigate, even though everyone who knows anything has been telling her the case is too hot, that she better just give it up?

V.I. doesn't give up that easily - but then, neither does Deirdre's killer. V.I. is walking head-first into trouble, and if she doesn't back-off someone's going to get hurt - and this time, V.I. might not escape with her life...

The Good and the Bad First of all, ugh. I don't know what it was about this book, but I just couldn't get into it. I usually love Paretsky's books - I've been reading them since I discovered her short stories at high school, but this one just didn't click for me. I usually like V.I., but she was just too hard in this story - something which does have consequences for her, but it just sort of made it difficult to like her. And the plot I just found to be too confusing - V.I. is investigating several things for several clients at once, and I could never straighten out who was who in the huge cast of characters. A thumbs down, then, albeit a reluctant one.

So should I read it or what? Obviously this is not a book that I am enamoured with, but I hate to think that this review would put anyone off Peretsky's books, because usually I really enjoy them. Instead, I'll say - don't read this, but do read other books in the V.I. Warshawski series - I particularly enjoyed Fire Sale (2005) in which she goes back to coach her old high school basketball team and gets involved with local corruption and teenage romance.

Link of the day: How about some fanfiction? In this highly enjoyable Futurama fic, the Planet Express crew are attacked by space ninjas - Just Desserts.

Book 44 - "I have no patience with the modern neurotic girl who jazzes from morning till night and uses language that would make a fishwoman blush!"

2010-02-03T10:09:00.006+13:00

It's been a while since I read any Agatha Christie! It's also been almost a year since I first read this book. Sometimes I'm a little slow to blog things, I guess!

Title: Murder on the Links (1923)

Author: Agatha Christie

Why this book:
Agatha Christie! Poirot! Hurrah!

So what's it all about?
When his good friend, Captain Hastings, returns from a trip, Poirot receives a letter bidding him to come at once, for the writer - Paul Renaud - fears his life may be in danger. When Poirot and Hastings arrive, they find they are too late; he has already been murdered, stabbed in the back and half-buried on the golf green.

Poirot is determined to find the culprit, and is highly amused at the arrival of another detective who is fails to take note of the clues which are, to Poirot, extremely important - while the other detective sees a flowerbed with no footprints in it, Poirot sees a flowerbed where there should be footprints. Hastings, however, can't help but doubt his old friend. Poirot seems to be doing nothing but asking irrelevent questions, and making increasingly bizarre statements - how does the length of a man's coat have anything to do with his death?

Paul Renaud's son is arrested for his murder, and he will surely be found guilty if Poirot can't find a way to convince the police that he didn't do it. But then, who did? Renaud's wife, who is clearly lying about just what happened that night? His blackmailer, who may or may not have been his mistress? The two mysterious South American men Mme Renaud claims to have seen? Or the English performer who was in love with his son - the very same girl that Hastings can't help becoming increasingly fascinated by...?

The Good and the Bad
I read this book through twice, and hated it the first time; the second time I loved it. The problem I had with it the first time through is simply that the end seemed to drag on a little too long. Agatha Christie is queen of the twist ending, by the ending here was so twisted that reading was both exhausting and confusing. The narrative also irritated me on my first read - it is told, in the first person, by Captain Hastings, and I quickly grew frustrated by him forever jumping to the wrong conclusion and his apparent lack of confidence in Poirot.

On my second read, however, I found the books a lot easier to enjoy. As I wasn't racing through it to find out what was going to happen next, it was a lot easier to enjoy Christie's style, her observations of human behaviour and her well-crafted plot - because, despite the overly-long conclusion, the story as a whole is well-crafted. I also found myself warming more to Hastings. He may be a bumbling idiot, but his heart is in the right place - besides, Poirot's love of his friend gives the detective a human side he might not otherwise have.

It also took me two reads to figure out what the "links" was. I was so sure it was going to be some kind of train, and was exceedingly confused when (despite at least one very important train ride in the story) Renaud was murdered in the middle of a field. As I now know, a links is in fact a type of golf course, and the fact that his murder took place there is yet another important clue.

So should I read it or what?
This is, I think, one of the better books in the Poirot series. Christie has yet to become fed up with her own creation, Captain Hastings meets someone who is to become very important to him in the future, and the mystery is set not in England but in France, giving it rather a different flavour. Highly recommended, but then I almost always say that about Christie's works, don't I?

Book 43 - "One day a prince would come, even if Glenda had to drag him on a chain."

2010-01-19T18:42:00.003+13:00

Title: Unseen Academicals (2009)
Author: Terry Pratchett

Why this book?
Because it's the latest in the Discworld series, of which I have read every single book. All 37 of them! I really like Terry Pratchett, OK.

So what's it all about?
Most of the Discworld books satirise or parody "round world" - real world - culture and history. Unseen Academicals is no different, taking on the grand English tradition of "foot-the-ball" - soccer, that is, not American football - and includes references to the historical banning of football, modern footballers with their model girlfriends, glamorous international players, and the bitter club rivals and fights between fans. As well as football, Pratchett plays with other topics which may be familiar to round-world readers - rivalries between universities, the stealing of intellectual property, and a Tolkeinesque orc who may be the last of his kind, and is sure he isn't a blood-thirsty as the legends say - well, mostly sure.

So: Unseen University, the home of the greatest wizards in Ankh-Morpork and therefore (as far as they're concerned) the world, have just discovered something rather horrifying: that unless they put together a football team, their funding is going to dry up. Therefore, they are charged not just with putting together a team, but with turning football into a game that isn't played in underground games by fifty-aside teams.

Below stairs at the University, large and practical Glenda - maker of fine pies - has always known where her place is (to whit: in the kitchen, making pies.) But when her friend, the beautiful and not-too-bright Jools drags her along to a fashion show and is suddenly being hounded by the press, Glenda starts to realise that times are changing, and that if Jools can become a model for a dwarfish fashion house, then maybe Glenda can also go on to bigger and brighter things?

Nobody knows where Mr Nutt came from, or what he is - not even Mr Nutt. But he's a very quick learner and an efficient worker, and when Trev drags him along to a football game he takes to it very quickly, and soon finds himself coaching the University team. Still, Mr Nutt is sure he must be carrying some dark secret; will letting it out hurt himself, and his new friends? Trev already has his own problems - he's fallen in love with Jools, even though they supports rival football teams. And even though Trev promised his Mum he'd never play football, not after the way his Dad died, he may be the only player capable of winning the game for the University without anyone else getting killed...

The Good and the Bad
It's kind of hard for me to be objective about anything Pratchett's written, mostly I'm a huge Pratchett fangirl, but also because I'm so familiar with his style, ideas, and characters that I find it difficult to think critically about them. I will say, though, that while I've been disappointed with a few of his more recent books (notably Thud and Making Money, both of which were readable but somewhat weaker than his usual fare) he's finally back on form. The ending was still a little weak, but it was in no way an anti-climax, nor did it ruin the rest of the book for me. I enjoyed both the new characters he introduced and the revisiting of the wizards - some of his oldest and most popular characters. His word-play and lengthy footnotes, for which he is renowned, were brilliant and hilarious - and the book is, overall, thoroughly enjoyable.

So should I read it or what?
Obviously I'm going to say "yes", but I would say that maybe this isn't the best book to start with if you're completely new to Pratchett. If you are new, then I'd suggest starting either with The Witches Abroad, which plays with fairytales and ideas of good and evil, or with Men at Arms which is a good introduction to the city of Ankh-Morpork where many of the Discworld books take place (and it also has most of my favourite characters in it!)

Irrelevant link of the day: Of all the literal music videos youtube has produced, this one for Take on me is still the greatest.

Book 42 - Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter (no seriously that's its name)

2010-01-14T18:28:00.004+13:00

It's coming up one year since I started blogging. I've got ten weeks to blog the remaining 11 books. However, being the incredibly over-excited young person I am, I'm already planning a new reading challenge for my second year blogging. It'll involve a quick and dirty site revamp, a banner (I've been meaning to put one up for ages) and a new approach to the books I read. So what's the challenge for year two? I guess you could say that it's a mystery...

Meanwhile, how about a little historical fantasy?

Title: Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter (2009)

Author: A. E. Moorat

Why this book?:
Because it's called Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter. I mean, really.

So what's it all about?
In a somewhat alternate reality, the night that Victoria learns that the King is dead and she will soon be the Queen of England (and, you know, everywhere else) she is attacked by a succubus, her life saved by the mysterious Maggie Smith. Maggie, it seems, has a very particular role: protect the incumbent ruler from demon attack, and make sure that the Devil never gets to put a finger in the ruling pie. Needless to say, this comes as something of a shock to Victoria.

Her thoughts are soon directed elsewhere - to politics, of course, and to her country that may still follow France's example and revolt; but also to her cousin, Albert, with whom she has fallen hopelessly in love. The good news is that Albert loves her, too: the bad news is that he is almost certainly the son of a demon. The really bad news is that Victoria's parents aren't exactly who she thought they were, either, and Victoria and Albert, for all their good intentions, might just be a match made in hell...

The Good and the Bad
One of my friends called this book "a waste of a perfectly good title" and I am forced to reluctantly agree. It starts out very strongly, with prostitute-eating zombies and Victoria fighting for her life, but afterwards, when Victoria is learning how to Queen, as it were, and angsting over Albert, my interest waned, and not even a kidnapping and a werewolf attack could bring it back. I think the problem is that Moorat tries too hard to mingle fact with fiction - a lot of the incidents in the story did actually happen, but few of them are really that relevant to the plot and as a result the story continually builds up tension and then loses it again. Or perhaps it's simply Moorat's style - there were several high-action scenes where I ended up skipping ahead rather than impatiently reading every word to see what happened.

The other problem is that I found the supernatural elements weren't quite concrete enough - there was religion mixed in to them, with the idea of the anti-Christ and the devil, the dead walking the Earth, but I didn't really buy it, not without the other side of the battle for good and evil being mentioned as well - Victoria, as the head of the Chruch of England, surely would have considered where God and Jesus were in this equation. I know, I know, I'm probably demanding too much from a story about Queen Victoria fighting demons but I think it may have helped the story to be less muddled (and more interesting) if the pseudo-religious bits were left out.

Having said that, the book does have the occasional good joke:

"Amazed, Quimby looked at her, then gazed at her internal organs quivering on the boards. She had the body of a weak and feeble woman, he thought, distractedly, but she had the heart and stomach of, well, a seemingly invincible zombie."

So should I read it or what?
Enough one-liners to cause a chuckle, but not enough to save the book's confusing plot or bad pacing. I wouldn't recommend.

Link of the day: One of my favourites show ever ever, Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

Book 41 - Boy and Girls Forever: Children's Classics from Cinderella to Harry Potter

2010-01-10T08:33:00.005+13:00

Book related link of the day: Did you ever read that picture book Each Peach Pear Plum? LJer fox1013 has created a more contemporary version. The rhyming scheme is at times a little... crazy, but her collages are simply amazing. The first page is here.

Title: Boys and Girls Forever: Children's Classics from Cinderella to Harry Potter (2003)
Author: Alison Lurie

Why this book?
Because I found it in a second-hand bookshop and... it looked good? Basically I should just not be allowed in any second-hand bookshops.

So what's it all about?
Boys and girls forever is a collection of essays exploring various facets of children's classic literature - some on specific books, like Little Women, and some on general themes, like the place of nature in children's books.

The Good and the Bad
I nearly put this book down as soon as I picked it up, thanks to this paragraph:

"Other nations have produced a single brilliant classic of series: Denmark, for instance, has Andersen's tales; Italy has Pinocchio, France has Babar, Finland has Moomintroll. A list of famous books in English, however, could easily take up a page in this volume"

I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. I'll admit that I can't name many books beyond those that Lurie has mentioned (aside from the French Le Petit Prince and Le Petit Nicholas) but then, I'm not Danish or Italian or French or Finish and I wouldn't expect to be familiar with their children's literature. (In fact, I learned French at school, which is why I have at least a passing familiarity with some French works.) Of course, I'm hardly an expert on the subject, but given that most of the books which are considered New Zealand children's classics would be unheard of in the UK or the US, I don't doubt that the same applies even more so to classics from countries where English is not the mothertongue.

I also think it's far too soon to be labelling Harry Potter a "classic". Yes, I read every Harry Potter book and loved them, but without the mania whipped up by both publishers and media, will my kids be interested in reading them? I mean some of the books were just awful. (I'm looking at you, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.)

However! I pressed on, and despite my initial misgivings and Lurie's Anglo-American focus there was still plenty to interest me among her essays. The place of feminism and gender identity in The Wizard of Oz and its sequels, Louisa May Alcott as a fairly revolutionary writer, and an essay on the humanity in modern fairy tales were all of great interest to me. They were all good enough for me to bookmark them for future reading - others, however, didn't interest me at all, or were perhaps a step too far from the "children's classics" theme of the book.

So should I read it or what?
If lit crit lights your pipe (and it certainly lights mine) then this is a book worth dipping into, but it's hardly the seminal work on children's lit (although it doesn't claim to be, either).

Books 35 - 40: Six (Girls Own) Geese a-layin'.

2009-12-27T16:03:00.008+13:00

Seasons greetings! Currently I am in an awesome mood, because a. I got some seriously awesome stuff for Christmas (although sadly few books) b. I'm on holiday until January 5, which allows for some serious reading, and c. this is the view from my deck:

Awwww yeah. I currently have no plans for New Year's, either, so I'm planning on seeing in 2010 by reading as many books as I can in one night. Dorky and socially isolating, sure, but a lot less harrowing for the liver.

35.
Title: Robins in the Abbey (1947)
Author: Elsie J. Oxenham

36.
Title: The New Abbey Girls (1923)
Author: Elsie J. Oxenham

37.
Title: Maid of the Abbey (1943)
Author: Elsie J. Oxenham

Sometimes when you begin reading a new series of books you can start anywhere and pick up what's going on and who's who. The Abbey Girls is not one such series. I started with seventh-to-last book, out of thirty-eight books, and for at least the first three chapters I had no idea what was going on. The main character, one of the titular Robins, was easy enough to grasp. She's a young heiress travelling back to Wales from New York, by ship: when she receives news that her father, also overseas, has been in an accident, she's invited home by Lady Quellyn, who lives at the Abbey.

So far so good, right? Only when she gets to the Abbey the virgin reader - ie me - is confronted with characters by the names of Joy, Jean, Joan, Jandymac and Jen, all who seem to have several pairs of twins who are all named after each other; then there's Rosamund, whose daughters are all named some variation of Rose; as well as their first names, they're all Ladies or Countesses, and Joy used to be Lady Marchwood but she's now Lady Quellyn and Jen is Lady Marchwood; oh, and then they've all got nicnames, after flowers, so they're also called Primrose or Daisy or Hyacinth or Violet and I never knew who anyone was talking about.

Even amongst all this confusion, Oxenham's strengths shone through. Of all the writer of "Girls Own" stories - a term used to describe books written exclusively for girls in the late 19th and early 20th centuries - Oxenham is probably the best known, besides Enid Blyton. Her characters, although not always incredibly complex, are still human: in Robins, the female Robin is impatient and frustrated when she realises she is in love (with a man who has the same name as her) yet she can't approach him because she's a woman, and you really get a sense of how a girl in her position must have felt. Oxenham also writes beautiful, vivid descriptions of her settings, whether it's the English Abbey or Robin's home in Wales.

The New Abbey Girls cleared up a lot of my confusion. It's book 13 in the series, and although it was severely abridged I finally got a handle on who everyone was and why they were so important. Particularly of interest were the scenes where Joy - at this point, neither Lady Marchwood nor Lady Quellyn - takes her new ward, Maidlin, to various folkdancing classes. Folkdancing seems to happen in every single book - as well as the crowning of a May Queen - but here, so early in the series, it seemed a lot more interesting and was better integrated with the story. Even if I'd never heard of any of the dances, it was still fascinating to read about. Sadly, my copy of this book was severely and noticeably abridged, which made the story jump all over the place.

Maid introduces two more characters, Anne and Belinda Belanne, who also appear in Robins. A sick Anne is invited to the Abbey along with her sister, who is delighted to find her idol, the singer Maidlin, lives there. When disaster strikes the Abbey in the form of measles, Anne takes over as cook, and Belinda become a nurse-slash-governess to Joy's twin girls. Maidlin is caught up in her own romantic drama - she's being wooed by a dear friend, but she's in love with his uncle.

The books are mostly light fare, although I'm given to understand that others in the series touch on deeper subjects, such as religion, and death and illness. Fun though, and surprisingly hard to put down.

38.
Title: Ruey Richardson: Chaletian (1960)
Author: Elinor M. Brent-Dyer

39.
Title: Cornelia of the Chalet School (2009)
Author: Jackie Roberts

40.
Title: Before the Chalet School: The Bettanys of Taverton High (2008)
Author: Helen Barber

Ruey Richardson doesn't settle in easily to the Chalet School. Until recently, her and her brothers were more or less looking after themselves, and she's used to going to bed whenever she likes, doing her homework whenever she likes, and has never given much thought to the way she looks or dresses. At boarding school, things are different, and even though her idea for the school to start playing lacrosse quickly brings her new friends, she has less luck with the teachers.

This is kind of an odd book. Brent-Dyer had been writing the Chalet School series for almost forty years at the point, and she kind of makes a conscience effort to modernise her plots. Ruey and her brothers haven't just been abandoned by their father for any old reason: he's a space-mad scientist hoping to fly to the moon. I am not even kidding, it is hilarious/ridiculous. The other odd thing is the lacrosse: there is literally a chapter on lacrosse theory, and it read almost exactly like a text book on the subject. I pretty much skipped that chapter, in case you're wondering.

The other two books I read in this series were, as you can see from my handy list, not written by the original author, which is something I'm not usually super keen on. Cornelia starts off pretty badly, too - Roberts seems to be trying to ape Brent-Dyer's style, and it just feel awkward and uncomfortable to read. The writing picks up later, though, and the story becomes quite interesting - Cornelia, a former Chalet pupil, is travelling back home to America with her millionaire father, on board a ship that includes a former Nazi officer and his wife, and old school-mate of Cornelia. During the war, Brent-Dyer emphasised that just because someone was "the enemy" it didn't make them evil, and Roberts does a good job of carrying this message one. The Nazi officer openly hates Jews, but his wife confides to Cornelia that she herself would have gone to a concentration camp for helping Jewish refugees if he hadn't intervened to save her. He's undoubtedly a terrible person, and yet he is still human.

Taverton High was much more in touch with the original series as far as actual content went. It follows the school's founding family before the founding, as a poor (but not so poor they can't afford a maid!) family of siblings dealing with a lack of funds, a guardian who is kindly but out of his depths, and a very ill little sister, who is painfully close to dying. The narrative focuses both on Joey, the youngest sister who despite being constantly sick is also constantly in and out of trouble: and Madge, the eldest sister, who in the absence of her twin brother is the one who has to try and make ends meet. Among other things, it's an interesting look at English village life during the Depression that followed the World War I.

Brent-Dyer still holds a special place in my heart that Oxenham can't possibly replace, but I'm still keen to read some more of her books. I'm ridiculously close to having read every single book in the Chalet School series anyway - when I finally have, I'll have to find something else to obsess over. Oxenham may be that something!

Books 33 and 34 - Double your (mystery-solving) pleasure.

2009-12-14T19:28:00.007+13:00

Titles: Shock Waves (1989) and Dangerous Games (1991)
Author: Carolyn Keene

Annnnyway, a while ago I read some Hardy Boys books and mentioned that Nancy Drew was about a million times cooler than they were. But! Having now read two Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys Super Mysteries I can inform you that it's probably only about a hundred times when they're hanging out together. I assume Nancy's coolness rubs off on Frank and Joe.

The first thing to tell you is that both of these books have HORRENDOUS puns as their titles. Shock Waves takes place during a seaside holiday, and Dangerous Games is set (during another holiday) at some kind of international athletic competition. The second important thing is that the characters have "grown up" a bit since their earlier books. By "grown up" I mean that Joe's girlfriend (or his favourite date) Callie... died. In a terrorist bombing. And now Frank and Joe work for some mysterious international organisation where they do undercover work. In other words, you need to suspend your disbelief even further than you had to back in the 70's.

Since Nancy is a girl, her equivalent grown-upness is that she occasionally has fights and/or temporarily breaks up with her boyfriend, Ned. Perhaps the writers went to the Todd Wilkins and Elizabeth Wakefield school of relationship writing. In the course of these two books, Ned proves himself to be jealous of pretty much every guy Nancy spends time with, particularly Frank Hardy. To be fair, Nancy thinks Frank is hot like jalapeños, but she loves Ned and would never do anything to hurt him, so Ned kind of comes across as a huge dick. Since in Nancy's own books he's generally really sweet and supportive, I'm going to choose to believe he's been corrupted by the Hardys.

Anyway, in Shock Waves, Joe's dead girlfriend's ring that is the only thing he has to remember her by, (sob), gets stolen. The boys are determined to track the thief down. Nancy, meanwhile, starts to think that someone wants her new friend Buck dead when he first claims to have seen a dead body and is then attacked by poisonous jellyfish. The cases turn out to be related! I did not see that coming. Most of the plot surrounds Buck hitting on Nancy, and Nancy not noticing, and Ned getting jealous. This is actually not what I look for in a mystery, Nancy dear.

Dangerous Games is so much more awesome. Nancy and the boys are both seperately called to investigate when an international sporting star starts getting threatening notes, and everyone, including Nancy's friends Bess and George (yay!) go undercover. George (who's the sporty one) turns out to be so good at swimming that she considers taking it up professionally, and the sporting star's sister is totally hot for her. This is awesome, because usually it's Bess (the pretty, girly one) that all the guys want. Sorry, did I say I don't want to read about relationships in my mysteries? I meant I don't want to read about melodramatic relationships in my mysteries. Meanwhile Nancy and the Hardys realise that the threat has something to do with a drugs scandal that happened five years before, and I totally called who the bad guy was going to be ages before any of them did. Clearly I would make a much better teen detective than the Hardy Boys! But not Nancy. Her and I would just hang out with George and Bess and solve mysteries and be BFFs for ever and ever and ever.

Sometimes I guess we'd let the Hardy Boys join us and, IDK, fight vampires or something.

In conclusion: I need to get my hands on some more of these books.

One last thing - I know I'm late posting again! But here's why:

His name is Frosting. Frosting the Snowman. He took a while to make.

Book 32 - Chanel: Her Life, Her World, the Woman behind the Legend

2009-12-02T18:19:00.004+13:00

First of all, man I'm behind! I've read at least ten books that I haven't written up yet, so I'll probably do a couple of multiple-book posts soon for series and/or books that other people are unlikely to be interested in.

Secondly, it's December already! You may have noticed by the intensification of seasonal decorations around your village, town, or city, and/or by the fact that shops have started playing cheerful Christmas music incessantly. Good times.

Seasonal link of the day: Reindeer Training School.

And now, on to our feature presentation.

Title: Chanel: Her Life, Her World, the Woman behind the Legend (2009)

Author: Edmonde Charles-Roux

Why this book?
After watching Coco avant Chanel ("Coco before Chanel") I wanted to find a more, you know, accurate portrayal of the designer's life. This book was in fact the inspiration behind the film, which means that someone read this book, then got drunk and wrote a script which bares a kind of passing resemblance to a book which must have taken several years of pain-staking research.

So what's it all about anyway?
As I've probably mentioned before, it's kind of hard to give a plot summary of a biography, ("She was born, um, and then some stuff happens... and then she dies") but I will attempt to do so anyhow! Chanel's rather villainous peasant father abandons her and her brothers and sisters at quite a young age, leaving Chanel at a charity school run by a religious order. When she's old enough to leave, Chanel and her aunt (who is about the same age as her) become dressmakers' assistants in a town full of cavalrymen. Chanel soon finds she has a passion for horses, and strikes up relationship with the upper-class, horse-owning Balsan.

Chanel is desperate to make a name for herself somehow, and just as desperate to leave her peasant roots behind her. She starts designing hats as a hobby, then, with financial backing from her new lover Arthur 'Boy' Capel, opens a shop in Paris. With help from her aunt and her younger sister, Chanel manages to open several new stores during the First World War, when exiled Russian aristocrats and the French elite still wished to shop and dress to impress. Chanel's empire slowly grows, and Chanel has a string of affairs - her lovers are mostly from either the French and English elite, or the extended group of artists, musicians, dancers and writers she spent her time with.

Chanel's story is not exactly a happy one, despite her success. Her cynicism makes her a good businesswoman, but also allows her to see all-too-clearly the realities of her own life: that the men she love most will never marry her, that she cannot afford to be anything other than completely independent, that she can never let the media know the truth of her origins. She gives the impression of always looking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to take away everything she has built for herself.

The Good and the Bad:
You don't really have to be incredibly knowledgeable about fashion to enjoy this book. Everything I know about fashion comes from Project Runway, and at no point did Coco Channel have to design a red-carpet gown entirely out of dead insects in order to win a trip for two to New York Fashion week. On the other hand, Charles-Roux spends a lot of time going off into tangents about the celebrities and aristocrats that Chanel hung out with, and the political and social trends and events of the time. You certainly couldn't write a biography of Chanel without placing her firmly in the socio-political context she was living and designing in, but it can be pretty heavy going reading about the political machinations of French and Bristish industrialists who only have very tentative connections with her. Then again, we also get details about Picasso and the great choreographer Diaghelev, and many other artists and artistes that Chanel hung out with, which I found far more fascinating, so perhaps it's only a question of taste.

So, should I read it or what?
Like I said, you don't need to be knowledgeable to read this book, but you do at least need to be a little bit interested in fashion history. Chanel was, after all, one of the driving forces behind such innovations as MAKING DRESSES THAT DON'T HAVE WAISTS. Thank God for Chanel. And yeah, you should totally read it.

Book 31 - Return to the Hundred Acre Wood, or: "'I wonder why things have to change,' mumured Piglet."

2009-11-17T18:29:00.005+13:00

When books like the (apparently) long-awaited sequel to the original Winnie-the-Pooh books are announced, I always hear a little tinkly bell in the air. Well, less of a tinkle, and more like the CHA-CHING of a cash register. The House at Pooh Corner ends with Pooh and Christopher Robin coming to realise the Christopher Robin is going to have to leave the wood: he's going away to school. It's a poignant moment, a goodbye to childhood, an excellent end to a sweet, funny and imaginative story. So why does there need to be another sequel by someone who isn't even the original author?

Because people will buy it, of course.

Title: Return to the Hundred Acre Wood (2009)

Author: David Benedictus

Why this book?
A Winnie-the-Pooh sequel! I couldn't not read it, no matter how cynical I was.

So what's it all about anyway?
Christopher Robin is home for the holidays, which kick off with a Welcum Back feast for him in the Hundred Acre Woods. There are various adventures with those old familiar characters: Owl gives a Spelling Bee, Rabbit conducts a Census, Piglet goes down a well during a drought, and Pooh goes on a search for honey (of course). There's also a new animal in the wood, an otter named Lottie who fancies herself to be bit above the others, but nevertheless joins in their adventures. Also she plays the mouth organ, which is kind of cool.

The Good and the Bad
I think I can best explain the Bad by quoting one review I read of the book:

"...this isn't more of the same, this is less. ... Although not as poetic or as heroic, lacking sharp wit or the real emotions of love and regret of the originals, this faint shadow will sell thousands of copies because today we always want more."
- Kerry White, 2009. 'In which a reader gets a bit hot and bothered'. Magpies, Vol. 24

And the Good? Well, it's not Disney. Can I just go off on a slight tangent here and say fuck you, Disney, Heffalumps are not meant to be real what the actual fuck is wrong with you. David Benedicus at least understands that much.

So, should I read it or what?
For kids who love Winnie-the-Pooh, this book gets a pass. For adults looking to reminisce, I'd say stick to the originals.

Book 30: Fables, Legends in Exile, or: "You look out of breath, Jack. Been climbing beanstalks again?"

2009-11-11T09:02:00.002+13:00

Title: Fables: Legends in Exile (2003)

Author: Bill Willingham

Why this book?
I was doing quality control for my mother - she buys graphic novels, I have the arduous task of reading them and deciding if they're appropriate for impressionable young women.

So what's it all about anyway?
After their various homelands and kingdoms were attacked by a mysterious and powerful evil, known only as "the Adversary", many fairytale creatures and mythological figures were forced to find refuge somewhere else entirely - in New York, in a part of the city which becomes known as Fabletown.

The Big Bad Wolf - aka Bigby - acts as Fabletown's sheriff, so when the infamous Jack discovers Rose Red's apartment trashed and covered in blood, it falls on him to find the culprit behind the vicious attack - and to discover what has happened to Rose. Has someone discovered the truth of the Fablefolks origins? Or is the person behind it a little closer to home? Rose Red's sister, the intelligent and capable Snow White, has never quite forgiven her sister for sleeping with her husband. Then there's Jack, who had a recent and very public break-up with Rose; and Bluebear, her current squeeze, used to have the happy little habit of cutting off his wives' heads. And what, exactly, is Prince Charming doing back in town...?

If Bigby doesn't solve the case, and quickly, it might just be the beginning of the end of Fabletown. He's sure there's more going on than meets the eye - but who's lying, and why? And hey - if he does solve it, it might just be that he gets his very own Happily Every After.

The Good and the Bad
It'll probably come as no surprise to you that I loved this graphic novel to pieces. It had my two favourite things: a murder mystery, and fairytale characters! That is pretty much the literary equivalent of a peanut butter and jam sandwich. And for a change, I have nothing bad at all to say about it.

Which isn't to say that it's perfect, but its biggest fault is that it's the first story arc in an ongoing series, so while it is a complete story, there are loose ends - the biggest being we have no real idea who the Adversary is, or why he or she forced the Fables into exile. Still, that didn't actually bother me: Legends in Exile was a full enough story that I didn't even feel the need to rush out and buy the next story arc to find out what happens next.

The way the various characters have been interpreted is definitely one of the book's highlights. Prince Charming was particularly fun, as a womaniser who has managed to schmooze his way across most of Europe. The illustrations were perfect, too - "gritty" and realistic, but not what I'd call ugly. As for the writing - it was dark without being angsty, funny without being silly, and noir-ish without being forced. In conclusion: Awesome.

So, should I read it or what?
Highly recommended.

Some time this century: The biography of a fashion icon, the lacklustre return of Winnie-the-Pooh, and Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter. That is seriously the name of a book. I'm pretty excited.

Books 28 and 29: "There was nothing the two brothers liked more than tackling a tough case."

2009-11-03T19:03:00.005+13:00

Do you know what teenagers love doing best? No, it's not drugs. No, it's not groping each other in their parents' cars. No, it's not dressing all in black and talking about how anti-establishment they are. Teenagers love solving mysteries! And I know what I'm talking about, because I spent about two hours last week hangin' out with the Hardy Boys.

Titles: The Flickering Torch Mystery (1971 revised edition)
The Secret of the Old Mill (1972 revised edition)

Author: Franklin W. Dixon, although he's not actually an actual person as far as I know.

Why these books?
Well... I found them at a flea market. And they were cheap! And they reminded me of my childhood! I couldn't resist.

So what's it all about anyway?
OK, I'm going to do my best to remember the actual plots of these books, but they are honestly so convoluted I can barely separate the two.

In Flickering Torch, the Hardy's detective father is busy on a case involving the constant theft of government property, so he fobs off a new client on to Frank and Joe. Needless to say the client is unimpressed that this famous detective is telling him that his teenage sons will take his case. But! Frank and Joe are used to being treated like this, because it is hard to believe they're so brilliant! The mystery has something to do with silkworms being stolen, and the brothers start working on the farm next door to the silk-worm farm, where they talk like the inbred country bumpkins so no one will actually know their true identities. For some reason, this actually works. Then, um, I guess there's a whole lot of detecting that goes on, mostly at night, and there's flickering torches involved somehow, and the boys' case improbably has something to do with their father's, and there's illegal mining involved? I don't even know.

The Old Mill was less confusing. There is money forging going on, and... you know what? It's not less confusing. The counterfeiting is somehow inexplicably tied to this new technology company that has just moved into Bayport, which keeps having its projects sabotaged. For some reason the criminals behind this scheme set their base in the titular mill, which is far less exciting than, say, an underground lair inside a hollowed out volcano. But! Frank and Joe nevertheless solve the mystery! Oh, and I just remembered there was some kind of motor-boat shenanigans in there. The Hardy's boat is called the Sleuth, just in case you were wondering.

The Good and the Bad
Man, these books are hilarious. Frank and Joe are pretty much indistinguishable, except that Joe is slightly more impulsive because he's a whole year younger than Frank (he was the one I had a crush on when I was a kid, incidentally). Neither of them have actual personalities, though. You can tell their best friend Chet Morton is comic relief because not only is he Fat, but he also isn't Super Keen About Mysteries! He is a Reluctant Mystery Solver! Is there anything more hilarious than that? Chet's hobbies involve eating, and also getting a new hobby every book (hilarious!) Alos, you can tell that this is a book for boys, because unlike Nancy Drew, who has a boyfriend she spends quite a lot of time with, Frank and Joe just have "favourite dates", both of whom are not only pretty, but also excellent cooks. That's what every boy wants in a favourite date!

So yeah, really, really outdated. Everything is "swell", everyone is a stereotype, and each page is so dripping with wholesomeness that it is difficult not to choke on it. These books were written at a time when children's books had Bad Guys and Good Guys and zero moral uncertainty. I mean, the Hardys are so amazing that they can tell who the bad guys are just at looking at them. This because bad guys are Surly and Unpleasant, whereas good guys have Honest Faces! Oh Hardys. If only it were really that easy.

Relatedly: You might want to check out Kate Beaton's comic about Mystery Solving Teens. I found it amusing and accurate!

So, should I read it or what?
Ahahahahahaha... hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Do yourself a favour and don't ruin your childhood.

Later this week, probably: Fairytale characters that are alive! And, in some cases, dead.

Book 27 - The reformed vampire support group, or: "Being stuck indoors with the flu watching daytime television, forever and ever"

2009-10-27T22:30:00.004+13:00

Vampires! They are pretty popular at the moment. Everywhere you go (if by "everywhere" you mean "the Young Adult section of bookstores") there they are, hangin' out, all, "Look how cool I am, I could drink your blood if I wanted to but I'm too cool for that! PS: I'm pretty sexy, unlike you. God, when did you last even wash your hair?" I may be projecting slightly.

I have to admit that I've never really got the whole vampire thing. That's not just a reaction to the recent surge in popularity, either; when I was thirteen or so I remember my friends reading a vampire series by Christopher Pike and being equally bemused. There are some exceptions: I loved the over-the-top pseudo-horror mess that was the Underworld movie. I also love Terry Pratchett's satirical take on vampires, who are far more style than substance and prefer to give up drinking blood for other, cleaner ways of gaining power of people. But when I saw this book I was immediately interested, since Catherine Jinks is a pretty talented author.

Title: The Reformed Vampire Support Group (2009)

Author: Catherine Jinks

Why this book?
Jinks wrote the amazing Pagan Chronicles, which was my sole food intake for like a year. She also wrote the pretty excellent Witch Bank. I was interested to see her take on vampires!

So what's it all about anyway?
Nina writes a popular vampire series, about the beautiful Zadia Bloodstone, crime-fighter extraordinaire. Secretly, Nina wishes she was just like Zadia Bloodstone, but she knows that it really is just a story. Real vampires aren't beautiful and strong: they're fragile, weak-willed, constantly sick and anti-social. Nina knows, because for the past thirty years she's been a vampire. And being stuck as a teenager forever isn't exactly fun.

Nina doesn't drink blood, either (at least, not human blood). She, along with the other members of Father Ramon's Reformed Vampire Support Group, have found other methods of coping with their problems. No attacking humans, that's one of their rules. So is not telling anyone what they are, because humans can be a bit - well - scared of vampires (although vampires are for the most part far more scared of them). But one member of their group isn't quite as dedicated to the cause as the others. That becomes apparent when they find him staked to death in his home.

Nina knows there is a slayer out there. And the group is sure that if they just talk to him (or her), he'll come to understand that vampires pose no real threat. But things are never quite that simple, and Nina and her friends suddenly find themselves in a world of underground werewolf fighting, deranged slayers, and vampires who really do think they can act like Zadia Bloodstone...

The Good and the Bad
This book should have been great - but I just couldn't get into it. The characters weren't quite engaging enough, the plot wasn't quite interesting enough, the pacing wasn't quite right - all in all, just not quite good enough. I actually really liked Nina, but since she was narrating the book it lost a lot of its suspense - you know the whole time nothing terrible is going to happen to her, because she's still alive (well, undead) at the end of the story to tell it, and I just couldn't work up enough enthusiasm about the other characters to care if any of them exploded in the sun or were eaten by werewolves or what have you. A disappointing read, overall.

So, should I read it or what?
It's pretty hard to make a story about people who eat hamsters bland, but somehow Catherine Jinks managed it. Not recommended.

Later this week, probably: Teen detectives, 70's style!

Link of the day: Top Ten 15 Saved By the Bell moments, because the 90's haven't really died yet.

Book 26 - A pocket full of rye, or: "I simply can't swallow this nursery rhyme business."

2009-10-21T21:31:00.005+13:00

I'm so sorry! I have spent the last three weeks working on a research proposal, which left me with very little time for doing any non-research-proposal-related writing. Actually, I spent about two weeks doing the proposal, and one week doing a different assignment that I didn't have time to do because of the time I was spending on the proposal. That's the magic of university!

BUT I am all done with due date now until next February, which leaves me plenty more brain-room for books, and the reviewing of. Today we have the promised Agatha Christie write-up! It's only short, because I'm only just getting back into the swing of things, and my brain still feels a little bit like a lump of cottonwool.

Title: A Pocket Full of Rye (1953)

Author: Agatha Christie

Why this book?
Yes, it's another Agatha Christie. Yes, I'm now a Christie addict. Don't judge me.

So what's it all about anyway? When Mr Fortescue dies horribly after drinking a cup of tea, foul play is immediately suspected - especially after his pocket is found to be full of rye. Someone has poisoned him - but who? There's certainly plenty of suspects. There's his wife, who's having an affair; his two sons, who he constantly played off against each other; and his daughter, who he refused to let marry the man she was in love with. And if that wasn't complicated enough, then the Fortescue's maid is found dead in the garden - with her nose cut off. Inspector Neele does his best to sort through the lies and motives, but he is more than happy to accept the help of Miss Marple when she arrives on the scene. What do these murders have to do with a children's rhyme? Or is this about something else entirely?

The Good and the Bad Sadly, Miss Marple takes away more from this mystery than she gives to it. Inspector Neele, we're told from the beginning, looks completely uninspiring but is in fact a fairly astute detective. He proves to be a very good detective, but not quite capable of the leaps of logic that is required of any truly excellent mystery solver in Christie's world - that's where Miss Marple comes in, of course. Unfortunately in this case, what that means is that we see Neele's thought process, we get to know him, and then every time he hits a dead end Miss Marple pops up to give him a clue, and then fades into the background again. Her place in the book is more like that of a plot device than an actual character, and it's exceedingly annoying.

One thing I did like about this book was that for once everything wasn't tied up all neatly at the end. Oh, sure, you find out whodunnit and why, but Inspector Neele doesn't have enough evidence to put the murderer away for it - yet. It's going to take time, and a lot more hard work. The ending is also pretty sad - it's obvious that no surviving members of the Fortescue family are going to lead very happy lives, even after the murder has been solved.

So, should I read it or what? Despite my dislike for the story's style, I nevertheless enjoyed the actual mystery. I definitely wouldn't recommend it for a Christie newbie, but for the experienced Marple reader it's still worth a go.

Later this week, probably: vampires (and no mention of the T-word, I promise)

Link of the day: Upside down dogs. Oh internet, you really do have everything a girl could ever want (and more!)

Friday Babble: M is for Manga

2009-09-25T23:46:00.008+12:00

Yeah, I'm a total dork (as if you couldn't already pick that from the fact that I write a blog about the books I read). Not only do I read books, but I also read graphic novels, comics, and manga. A lot of people spend a lot of time debating the differences between those three terms, but those are clearly people with nothing better to do.

I, on the other hand, have something much better to do: recommend some awesome manga to you! In case you're unfamiliar with the word, manga are comics originating in Japan that use a particular type of stylised drawing. You may be more familiar with anime, the Japanese cartoons which are often based on a manga story. A lot of people still think that comics and cartoons are for kids, but in Japan a wider audience is acknowledged than that in the West, and there's a lot of stories aimed at teens, dealing with the normal teen dramas of school and relationships. There's also sci-fi, fantasy, mysteries - basically, any genre you can think of, all in delicious manga form.

Like any form of media, there's good and bad manga. The good is well-drawn, has character development, intelligent plots, interesting themes. The bad is - well, recently I tried to read Okane Ga Nai. It's about a guy who buys another guy as a sex slave. That's all I'm sayin'. In order to try and help you separate the good from the bad, what follows is a small, detailed list of manga I'm currently reading, including excerpts and links to website where you can read them online. (The pages read from right to left, by the way! And if you are having trouble reading them you can click on them for a bigger image :))

Title: Chi's Sweet Home
Mangaka: Konami Kanata
Status: 110 chapter, ongoing

FACT: If you are not saddened by a lost kitten there is something wrong with you.

Details: This isn't exactly a hugely taxing story to read, but it is so ridiculously cute and sweet that I dare you to try and stop reading once you've started. Chi's Sweet Home is the story of a kitten who loses her mother and is adopted by a young family. A lot of the first arc of the story relates to the fact that the family aren't allowed to keep a cat in their apartment, and try to keep Chi hidden - while Chi, of course, doesn't understand and keeps risking discovery.

Not convinced? Watch this:

If you are still not convinced, I shudder to think what kind of terrifying, hard-hearted monster you are.

Title: Fruits Basket
Mangaka: Natsuki Takaya
Status: 136 chapters, complete

Turning into a rat every time a girl hugs you really puts a damper on your love life.

Details: Since the death of her mother, high school student Tohru has been living in a tent in the forest, and working a night cleaning-job to earn enough money to stay in school. Her hard lifestyle pushes her to the limit, and one night she collapses, sick from not looking after herself properly. Luckily, she's rescued by two cousins - Shigure Sohma, and Tohru's classmate Yuki. There's something mysterious about the Sohmas, and Tohru soon finds out what - they're both cursed to turn into animals from the Chinese zodiac, as are ten other members of their family. But there's more to the Sohma Clan than a secret curse - they're also controlled by the manipulative and selfish Akito. Akito slowly becomes convinced that Tohru is a threat to her power over the other Sohmas - and she's prepared to do anything it takes to see that nothing changes.

Title: Rin-ne
Mangaka: Rumiko Takahashi
Status: 21 chapters, ongoing

Haunted phones seem less scary here than in The Ring.

Details: This manga is still pretty new, so it's kind of hard to see where the story's going so far! But Takahashi is a prolific writer and artist - her work includes my all-time favourite, Ranma 1/2, and the more recent Inu-Yasha. Rin-ne is about a young girl who can see ghosts - some of whom are incredibly annoying - and her new classmate who turns out to be a shinigami, a death-god. Together, they do their best to exorcise the ghosts they find - a process hampered by Rinne's constant lack of money and his long-term rivalry with a demon. Despite the subject matter, it's a pretty light-hearted story, at least so far!

Title: Ouran High School Host Club
Mangaka: Bisco Hatori
Status: 74 chapters, ongoing

...he asks, after he's developed a crush on her.

Details: Can you say gender-bending romcom? Yes you can! When scholarship student Haruhi breaks an extremely expensive vase, he's offered a way to repay it - by joining the school's host club, and earning money by entertaining the rich female students. There's only one problem - Haruhi's really a girl. Wacky hijinks ensue! You can probably guess where this is going! My favourite storyline is where an unpopular student discovers Haruhi's identity, starts spending time with her, and gains instant popularity when all the girls decide he must be gay.

Title: Fullmetal Alchemist
Mangaka: Hiromu Arakawa
Status: 99 chapters, ongoing

Details: All the manga I've listed are good, but Fullmetal Alchemist is brilliant.

Turning stones into gold is, of course, strictly forbidden (which is why Ed
totally didn't do it.)

Ed has a metal arm and leg, and his brother Alphonse is nothing but a soul attached to an empty suit of armour - punishment, of a kind, for breaking one of the strictest rules of alchemy. The brothers are travelling the land, dodging in and out of trouble, and trying to find a philosopher's stone that will help them return to their original bodies. As they inch closer to their goal, they and their friends discover that they are not the only ones searching for the philosopher's stone; there are other creatures, creatures that may have once been human, who are doing everything within their power to gain immortality. Ed and Al unravel a conspiracy that runs through the army and the government, and leads all the way back to their country's founding. Just who, exactly, is pulling the strings, and what does it have to do with Ed and Al's own father...? (God, I just reread this, but I find all those cliches and mixed metaphors hysterical and am going to leave them in. Bed time for me, obviously.)

If you're going to read just one manga based on what I've rec'd, it should be this one. It has all those qualities I listed at the start, and something more - that indefinable quality which makes a story impossible to let go. Do yourself a favour and check it out.

Book 25 - Night Singing, or: "Who was that crazy person? Did you know her?"

2009-09-22T19:02:00.006+12:00

This may not come as a surprise to anyone who has heard My Thoughts On Twilight, but I continue to wonder how it is that authors who can not actually write to save their lives become so popular! Twilight, for example, is pretty much pure cat dirt, and yet there is something about it which makes it pretty difficult to put down. Luckily I was mostly immune to its sensual charms, and after the ten millionth time Bella complained about how her life sucked soooooo much I finally threw it across the room and out of my life. Sadly, as I was reading it on my laptop, this dramatic gesture turned out to be quite expensive.

You know who else write a lot of dross? Dan Brown! I actually kind of enjoyed the Da Vinci Code, and I thought the movie was better than the book (possibly because I grew up on a diet of B-grade action/suspense movies) but Angels and Demons made me absolutely livid in ways that I can't even describe and will have to explain instead through the magic of MS Paint.

You tell 'em, Badly Drawn Hulk! Anyway, the only reason I bring up the subject of Authors Who Can't Actually Write is because of my incredibly awesome Link of the Day: Dan Brown's 20 Worst Sentences. I particularly enjoyed all the angry comments down the bottom.

Someone who can actually write to save her life is Kierin Meehan!

Title: Night Singing (2003)

Author: Kierin Meehan

Why this book?
Because I absolutely adored her first book, Hannah's Winter - and Night Singing did not disappoint!

So what's it all about anyway?
Josh has broken his leg and is bored stiff at home, unable to go to school - or even leave the house much. Then Isabelle, a girl from the circus, comes crashing into his life, and things start to get interesting. For one thing, Isabelle has offered him six tickets to the circus; and for another, she doesn't see other people in quite the same way as Josh does.

Josh is horrified when Isabelle starts bringing around kids from his class - not Josh's friends, but the loser kids, like quiet Reesie, Tim (who's actually in the choir), and Arundel, who everyone knows is trouble. And when Isabelle announces her intention of winning this year's Christmas Concert Josh knows she won't - after all, the resident bully Nasty Natalie dances to victory every single year.

Then Mr Vas, a clown in Isabelle's circus, tells her a story about the Moon Rabbit, and a terrible tragedy that destroyed the world. The story is perfect for the concert - but to Josh there seems to be something more to it. His neighbour, the elderly Mrs Murakami, often tells stories about the Moon Rabbit; and the same pattern that appears in her sketch book turns up in Mr Vas' paintings. What great tragedy lies in their past - and what does it have to do with Isabelle's play...?

The Good and the Bad
There were a few loose threads at the end of the book which irritated me a little - Meehan leaves the reader knowing the shape of things, but without giving us the actual details, which was kind of unsatisfying - what happens to Arundel, who has been abandoned by his family? Is he really related to circus folk? Does Natalie get her comeuppance? Does Isabelle actually win the concert competition?

I also imagine reading this as an adult is quite a different experience to reading it as a child; it was obvious to me right from the start that Mrs Murakami had lost her family to the Hiroshima explosion (although exactly how Mr Vas fitted in to the picture was a little beyond my ken!) Still, that didn't ruin it for me - there was still plenty to enjoy in Josh's slowly developing appreciation for the 'losers', and his gentle friendship with Arundel.

I haven't mentioned Josh's little brother, but he's also an important player in the story and he's utterly delightful. He's very much a little kid without coming across as either twee or monstrous, which so often seems to happen in books. Josh's parents are wonderful too - very loving but very human; Meehan portray's Josh's mother's frustration over his brother's refusal to learn to read very well, without demonising her at all.

So, should I read it or what?
I definitely loved it! It is a children's book, so I flipped through it pretty quickly, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Recommended!

Next up: Um, I've just read another Agatha Christie, and I think I'll also do a companion post for this one on Hannah's Winter since it would be kind of interesting to compare them! Also, probably this week: A Friday Babble, topic yet unknown!

Book 24 - A Rose for the Anzac Boys, or: "There's nothing worse than ill-fitting socks!"

2009-09-17T22:04:00.007+12:00

Title: A Rose for the Anzac Boys (2008)

Author: Jackie French

Why this book?
Because when I was at school we learned about the battle at Gallipoli every Anzac Day, every year, and that is pretty much the extent of my knowledge of WWI and thought I should correct that ASAP - through the power of fiction! Also, I like Jackie French - she wrote one of my favourite fantasy books, Tajore Arkle, as the wonderful but sad Hitler's Daughter.

What's it all about anyway?
When the war starts, New Zealander Midge is a long way from home - in a boarding school in England, in fact, where she is learning frightfully important things like deportment and posture. Her twin brother, Tim, has lied about his age and joined up, and she's really proud of him - he's fighting for King and country, and besides, everyone knows the war won't take that long to win.

Then Midge gets a telegraph saying Tim is missing, and everything changes for her. She knows he can't really be dead - he must've been taken prisoner by the Turks - but suddenly, the war seems real. She doesn't want to just sit around knitting socks and putting together trifles to send to the soldier. That's when Ethel, daughter of a nouveau riche grocer, has an idea - why don't they start a canteen for the soliders? They won't be in any danger themselves, and with her father's help they can provide food and a hot drink for soldier leaving for and returning from the battlefield. Along with their friend the Honourable Anne, they set out for France.

Midge works harder than she has ever worked in her life; one night the girls and their helpers actually serve over ten thousand soldiers. She sees countless soldiers returning missing arms and legs, some shellshocked, others already dead. When a friendly ambulance driver is taken off the job due to septic wounds in her hands, Midge offers to take her place; and from there, somehow, she manages to meet her aunt - a nurse - and is pressed into duty in the big hospital tents where there are too many injured and not enough supplies, and where even the chaplain has been pressed into duty as a surgeon.

And through it all, two things keep her going: one, the drive to find her brother; and the other, the memory of the sheepfarm back home, the place she yearns to be more than anywhere. She meets a young Aussie soldier, a fellow sheepfarmer who knows exactly how she feels, and who gives her a rose on her birthday...

As destructive and terrifying as the war is, Midge revels in the freedom her work has given her. Can things really ever go back to how they were before the war?

The Good and the Bad
This book was kind of amazing. It's not at all subtle - Midge's naivety, the snobbery of the army officers, the pure idiocy of many of the armies' campaigns, they're all painted with a thick brush. But the boldness of French's writing makes this a very readable story - it unfolds quickly, and you can get a grasp on what's going on very quickly. The descriptions of the wounded are stomach-churning at times, but accurate - French based them on descriptions in real letters and diaries.

Midge is a great character. She's not out to change the world; at the very bottom she simply wants to help her own family, but in her love for them lies the strength to do a great many things that a great many people wouldn't. Anne and Ethel are both equally strong, and I was sad to see them drift out of the story as Midge's choices took her further away from them. Anne in particular interested me; the daughter of a Duke who clearly had no interest in being married off to the first suitable suitor who came along, but who didn't seem to have any great argument against it, either; who rebelled in quiet ways, like making friends with Ethel, even as she tried her best to get rid of her pimples to please her mother.

What I did feel weakened the story was framing it against the recent Iraq War. French's message seemed to be that ultimately, it's the soldiers who get screwed over, no matter what the circumstances, and that's true enough! But to me modern wars are a world away from those that happened almost a century ago. We no longer have the belief that this war will be the last; we've long since lost that innocence. Besides - it seemed a little odd having a whole book about women in wartime, the invisible heroes, and ending with a message about male soldiers. I don't know; it really just seemed to take something away from the book, to me. Or perhaps it was my own feelings on the Iraq War that just jolted me out of the story.

So should I read this book or what?
I'd definitely recommend it, although I was pretty much sold as soon as I knew it was about a New Zealand girl in WWI. I'd actually recommend anything by Jackie French though - she really is great!

Link of the day: I mean to pimp this earlier, but since it's still going - check out the Agatha Christie Blog Tour! Awesome.

Book 23 - To the Hermitage, or: "Erotics Adventures!! Brand New Positions!!! Please keep the sound low and try not to disturb your neighbours."

2009-09-09T17:35:00.009+12:00

When you were a young warthog (sorry, caught part of The Lion King on tv the other day and that song's been stuck in my head ever since) did you ever read those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' stories? I remember them being all the rage at school and I remember hating them, because I could never get the 'good' ending. I'd always end up dying of starvation or being eaten by the monster or what have you.

Anyway, the other day when I was browsing the Young Adult section of Borders... I found some of them. Not the adventure-laden choose-your-owns of my youth, though; know, the point of these books were to make the right choices in order to... end up with the right guy. You stay classy, young adult lit. OK, I admit it, I read a couple of them, but they frustrated me to no end - for the same reason they did when I was a kid: I'd get to the end of the page, read my two choices, and think, "But I wouldn't do either of these things. These are both equally terrible choices. Why would I do either of these things? Why would my attractive but angst-ridden avatar do either of these things? What kind of the moron is she?"

In conclusion: Choose Your Own Adventure stories are one thing that I just never understood.

Today's novel is not, in fact, a book with a choose-your-own ending, but when I was trying to come up with a way of introducing it my brain suddenly spazzed out and couldn't remember if the correct phrase was "without further ado" or, "without further adieu". So, dear read-

If you would like to continue reading without further ado,
turn to page 19
If you would like to start reading without further adieu,
turn to page 67

Title: To the Hermitage (2000)

Author: Malcolm Bradbury

Why this book?
Rec'd by a work colleague.

What's it all about, anyway?
To the Hermitage is written in two part: THEN and NOW.

THEN describes the time that French philosopher Denis Diderot spent in the court of Catherine the Great. Catherine was a great admirer of his; when she heard he was seriously short on money, she bought his entire library but allowed him to keep it until his own death. For some years she pressured him to come to Russia, and eventually he was no longer able to tell her 'no' - not least because other European rulers were starting to take a dislike to him.

Diderot is - perhaps typically for a philosopher - interested in everything, and his own great work is an Encyclopédie which he hopes will one day contain everything. He is uninterested in court intrigues, perhaps even to the extent that he will not even sleep with Catherine herself - but he does have grand plans for Russia, and grand ideas about how she should be - could be - ruled; and he has to do his best to convince Catherine of his ideas' merits before she transfers her admiration of him on to somebody else.

In the NOW, a novelist who is also a great admirer of Diderot's has been summoned to Sweden by an old friend to take part in a pilgrimage of sorts - a trip to Russia as part of the Diderot Project. The actual purpose of the Project itself is ambiguous at best; the other members include carpenters, opera singers, university lecturers, some of whom have never even heard of Diderot before now. But as the others gradually lose interest in the Project, our novelist pushes on - after all, great mystery surrounds the fate of Diderot's library, and it's not impossible that he might himself discover a book or a manuscript of Diderot's which has not seen the light of day for hundreds of years...

The Good and the Bad
This is one of those books which is pretty hard to describe; because while there is a plot of sorts it's not a story you're reading for its page-turning action sequences. It's Bradbury's words, the dialogue and the descriptions, which make this book so brilliant. A book which is essentially about a philosopher and a boat trip could be so very dry; but Bradbury's writing is lively and humorous and really, just beautiful. I can't pay it any compliment higher than that.

It begins with the lines,

"This is (I suppose) a story. It draws a great deal on history, but as history is the lies the present tells in order to make sense of the past I have improved it where necessary."

That should really tell you everything you need to know about this book.

It also took me an extraordinarily long time to read - I'd usually devour a book this size in maybe three days, tops - but it was just so dense, in terms of information. I spent a hell of a lot of time with my good friend Wikipedia looking up places and people. Actually, saying that will probably turn most people of reading it so I guess if history and geography and philosophy and political theory don't excite you this might not be the book for you.

But if history and geography and philosophy and political theory do excite you than hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen.

So should I read this book or what?
Yesssssssssssss.

Book 22 - The Bride's Farewell, or: You can run (from your past) but you can't hide...

2009-08-26T21:56:00.005+12:00

This week's excuse for belated blog posting: I have been off on a skiing holiday! I have returned with a father with a broken shoulder and a crush on my very nice and Scottish ski instructor. Also, with two more books under my belt! Not literally though, my belts don't stretch that far.

Title: The Bride's Farewell (2009)

Author: Meg Rosoff

Why this book?
Saw the review of it over at My Favourite Books and thought it sounded interesting, and needed something to read at the airport on Friday so when I saw it for sale I grabbed it.

What's it all about anyway?
Pell Ridley cares for the man she is supposed to marry, and she loves her brother and sisters, but she knows if she becomes Birdie's wife and stays in her village she has nothing to look forward to but drudgery and misery. The night before her wedding she decides to leave with her horse, Jack, and look for work, as far a way from home as she can get. Her plans are immediately interrupted when her younger brother Bean decides to join her, and it's not long before everything has gone horribly wrong and she's lost both her brother and her horse.

With no money, and no friends, Pell is nevertheless determined to find them again. Her gift with horses finds her both friends and enemies, as does her own unwillingness to compromise her own happiness for anyone else. Strangers both help and hinder her journey, sometimes giving her food and shelter, sometimes using her for their own profit. Eventually, the trail left by Jack and Bean runs cold, and Pell returns to her village, only to find that her escape had devastating consequences for the people she loved. She does her best to make things right, and fortune finally favours her in the shape of a an excellent job with an understanding boss - but she knows she can never be happy until she finds her brother and her horse, and no matter how much she's enjoying her new life, she can't forget the one she left behind...

The Good and the Bad
OK, so I made this book sound far more depressing than it actually is. I mean, it is depressing in the sense that it is pretty historically accurate, but it's not a wrist-slitting tragedy. It was a light read - I'd almost finished it even before my plane took off - but it's a gripping read, too, and Rosoff's language is simple but evocative.

What I really loved about The Bride's Farewell was that it had all the elements of a clichéd historical novel without ever becoming one. Pell is a talented, intelligent young woman in a world where women are supposed to be neither, but she's not fighting for women's rights - she accepts that that's the way things are. She's a strong, determined character, but she makes plenty of mistakes, is at times too naive and at others too untrusting. Without spoiling too much, I also liked that Pell's story was part of a bigger picture, one which the reader is allowed to see but Pell never realises (although I think perhaps Rosoff spelled things out to the reader so obviously that it was almost disappointing the Pell never figured out the truth).

I liked that the ending didn't tie everything up neatly with a great big ribbon. You're not sure if Pell is going to be happy with the life she's chosen, or how things are going to work out between her and her lover and her sister, but at the same time you do know that Pell is strong enough to handle whatever challenges life throws at her. In the end, this isn't really a book about finding happiness - it's a book about simply finding a place where you can be yourself, and be content.

So should I read this book or what?
If you're looking for something light without the saccharine toothache that is chick lit, this is the book for you!

I guess kind of related link of the day since Pell's father is a preacher: 10 Gruesome Bible Scenes Recreated in Lego! I can't even remember where I got this link from, but it is pretty lulzy.

Book 21 - Rosanna joins the Wells, or: Poor people are more interesting when they're foreign

2009-08-12T16:22:00.005+12:00

Have I mentioned before that I love book series? I'm pretty sure I have, but just in case I haven't: I love book series. Particularly the one that just go on and on getting more ridiculous as they go. The other day I saw an interview with one of the actors from the tv show Hercules, who said that once you get to the episode where you're playing your own evil twin it's time to get a new job because the fat lady is singing - there's no more new plots to be had. Perhaps Francine Pascal could have taken some advice from him.

Anyway, one of the many series I read as a kid was the Sadler's Wells series, which is pretty much about girls who love ballet and grow up to be famous ballerinas. Why this appealed to me, someone who can't even point her feet, and often resembles a dancing hippopotamus, is something that I will never understand

nevertheless, they were actually pretty cool books, covering themes of selfishness versus dedication, women choosing between career and marriage, and the early books had lots of beautiful descriptions of the English countryside. I'm still trying to collect all the books in the series.

Title: Rosanna joins the Wells (1956)

Author: Lorna Hill

Why this book?
Like I said - I collect the series!

What's it all about anyway?
Rosanna is growing up in Spain, the daughter of a Spanish father and English mother. Her family is poor, but she's loved, and happy. Then, tragedy strikes - her parents are both killed in a landslide while she is visiting the neighbouring village. However, she is taken in by a friend of the family, and she slowly learns to cope without her parents. In her new village she also meets a ballet teacher, who catches her dancing and decides to teach her for no charge. Her teacher sees that she's brilliant, and hopes that she'll one day get a scholarship to the Wells. Then tragedy strikes - er, again. Rosanna's guardian, who was pretty old, dies, and Rosanna get sent to live with relatives in England.

Rosanna boards a ship to England. She's pretty bored, and homesick, on the ship, until she meets a rather odd (but quite handsome) young man. His behaviour is bizarre to her, but it turns out that he loves ballet too, and they strike up a friendship of sorts. Unbeknownst to Rosanna, the young man is a Prince Leopold of Slovenia (don't grab a map, it's not a real country), and he is preparing to propose to an up-and-coming ballerina, Ella Rosetti. Rosanna is simply an amusement for him while he is on the ship, and once they hit land he thinks no more of her.

Rosanna's English family, the Waybridges, are pretty awful. Her uncle, her mother's brother, is nice, but is over-awed by his class-conscious wife. Her Aunt Bessie is not happy to have Rosanna joining the family, and does not welcome Rosanna at all. Her cousins, Monica and Cyril, are both spoilt bullies who delight in making Rosanna miserable. She's treated more as a servant than a member of the family, and she hates England. Still, life isn't all bad - she makes friends with a Spanish family who, unlike her own family, welcome her with warm hearts and open arms. They also encourage her to start taking ballet lessons again, and when her aunt tells her that she can't afford lessons Rosanna sells off the few expensive clothes she has.

Rosanna becomes the star dancer at Mary Martin's ballet school, much to the chagrin of Monica and her Bessie - until Rosanna's arrival, Monica was one of the best dancers. When she gets the leading role in the school's ballet show, the two conspire to keep Rosanna out of it - by locking her in at home, so she's unable to go. Rosanna finally decides enough is enough and tries to run away back to Spain. Her escape is helped by the boy next door, but when she reaches the docks she realises she'll never be able to stow away on a ship, whatever she'd been imagining. Then she runs into someone completely unexpected (if you've never read a book before) - the Prince Leopold! He listens to her story and takes her to the ballet school himself, where she's just in time to to perform her solo and catch the eyes of Ella Rosetti and the famous Veronica Weston. Leopold also takes it upon himself to tell Rosanna's aunt exactly what he thinks of her, which was possibly the best part of the whole book.

The Good and the Bad
Lorna Hill's early heroines are great, and her early stories show a great deal of humour. First there's Veronica, who has to choose between love and ballet, grey London and beautiful Northumberland, and who has to battle with both jealous dancers and her awful cousin, Fiona, but who emerges strong and victorious through it all, purely thanks to her own determination. There's also Caroline, Veronica's cousin, who loves dancing but deals with bitter disappointment when she's told she'll never be a prima ballerina; and cousins Jane and Mariella, who swap identities so that Jane can dance and Mariella, who hates dancing, doesn't have to. They were all interesting and charistmatic characters that you really cared about.

Unfortunately, the next generation of heroines are far less interesting. In her first book, Ella is timid and poor - that's all there really is to her. Rosanna is even worse, because while you felt Ella's dedication to ballet, you don't even really get a sense of Rosanna's love for her art. Despite being treated like an indentured servant, she not only takes the abuse - which is at least kind of understandable - but she doesn't even seem to hate her abusers for it. She's so passive it's almost infuriating. You do, of course, still want her to 'win' over her awful aunt and cousins, but the tension between her aunt and Mary Martin is far more interesting than Rosanna's. And, of course, it doesn't exactly come to a surprise that at the end of the book Rosanna leaves her family and joins the Wells - it's right there in the title, Rosanna joins the Wells. You know, just in case you were hoping for any kind of dramatic tension.

Something which is almost laughable is the way that Rosanna's life in Spain is idealised. It didn't matter that she had no shoes, we're told, because it was always sunny in Spain! Well, sure, but if you're too poor to afford shoes life definitely isn't all sunshine and rainbows, no matter where you live. This attitude is especially awful when contrasted to Ella Rosetti's background - she was also a poor orphan, and taken in by family who slept three to a bed. There's this romanticism of Rosanna's peasant lifestyle, while Ella's working class family are portrayed uncultured in the extreme and cruel. Nice.

So should I read this book or what?
Needless to say I can't exactly recommend this to anyone who isn't already enamoured of the series. However, if this does sound like it could potentially be your drug of choice, I do dearly love all of the first three books in the series. A dream of Sadler's Wells tells of Veronica overcoming great difficulties just to get an audition to the famous ballet school, while Veronica at the Wells is about her rise to fame and the sacrifices she has to make to get there. My all-time favourite, though, is No castanets at the Wells, in which Caroline Scott meets the intensely sexy Spanish dancer Angelo. They're all far less melodramatic books than Rosanna, but infinitely better-written and more interesting.

Unrelated link of the day: A Very Potter Musical - watch out for Draco, who is absolutely hilarious.

Book 20 - Le Testament Francais, or: Identity theft, Soviet stylez

2009-08-02T18:44:00.004+12:00

In the words of Granny Weatherwax, I aten't dead! Just a tad lazy.

Title: Le Testament Francais (1995)
Also known as: Dreams of My Russian Summers

Author: Andrei Makine

Why this book?
Another recommendation from my Russophile co-worker. (She's currently reading War and Peace in the original Russian. She is all kinds of amazing.)

What's it all about anyway?
The book is written by an unnamed narrator who is growing up in the Soviet Union, and is told in three broad sections. In the first, he is a young boy who spends his summers at his grandmother's house. She fills his head with stories of her own childhood in France and he begins to adopt her own French identity. This sets him apart from the other children his age, but he is content being different as he has a certain sense of superiority. In the second section of the book, he is an adolescent and rebels against his own identity. He finally joins the other kids his age, turning his back on his one former friend, another loner. He no longer wants to see his grandmother, as he knows many of the stories she told him as a child were not true. In the last section, he is an adult, living in France. He is now at peace with his dual identities - both French and Russian - and he has lived in France so long that he knows the Russia he remembers no longer exists, much like the Paris his grandmother remembers.

The Good and the Bad
I really wanted to like this book. It was a good book, beautifully written. And yet I found it almost a chore to get through (in fact, only the knowledge that I could tick another book off my list when I had finished it really kept me going.) I think it was because I just never connected with the narrator; he came across as having this really superior attitude, even as an adult. I feel like he was supposed to be looking back with nostalgia, but the tone completely missed the mark.

I was interested in the theme of cultural identity, not least because this book was in many ways the story of the author himself - Makine was Russian, possibly with a French grandmother, and was granted political asylum to stay in France after working there for some years as a teacher. Unfortunately, my dislike for the narrator tainted the entire book, so that I couldn't really enjoy his exploration of identity and belonging.

So should I read this book or what?
I pretty much hated Le Testament Francais, so I can't recommend it. However, not everyone agrees - it did win two prestigious awards, both the Prix Goncourt and the Prix Medicis. I wouldn't say no to reading anything else Makine has written, either.

Lights, camera...
The Film Festival is now finished, but I do have more films to rec! As well as those listed below, I did see Coraline, but I'm hoping to do a separate post on that at a later date so I won't go into it just now.

Che comprises of two movies following the life of the revolutionary Che Guevara. The first, The Argentine, was by far superior; it was better paced and had better character development, and while it wasn't necessarily sympathetic to Castro's movement it at least showed the revolutionaries as having a strong sense of purpose. The second film, Guerilla, was pretty disappointing after that; it moved agonisingly slowly, and the entire film was overshadowed by the knowledge that it was going to end with Guevara's death.
The Strength of Water is a New Zealand film - some people describe it as a ghost story, but it's more a story that just happens to feature a ghost. A young boy loses his twin sister and has to learn to cope with life without her; her death also brings together two of the town's loners, teenagers who are trying to escape their pasts. The film moved me without me feeling like I was being emotionally manipulated, which is something that I hate.

Finally, Louise-Michel is a French film, allegedly a comedy about a male-to-female transgendered woman who hires a hitman to off the CEO of her company after her entire factory is laid off. The hitman she hires is a male-to-female transgendered man who has problems of his own to deal with. I say it's "allegedly" a comedy because it was billed as such; I think I laughed out loud maybe three times during the entire thing. Which is not to say that it wasn't a brilliant film, but it's more satire than comedy, a film which pits the illiterate and poverty-stricken Louise against a ridiculously wealthy man who thinks nothing of the lives he ruins on a daily basis. It's, well, a very French film.

And the unrelated link of the day: Awful Library Books. Which I think is a self-explanatory title.

Books 18 and 19 - The New Housemistress and Carnation of Upper Fourth, or: Jolly hockey sticks (without the hockey sticks)

2009-07-18T10:41:00.008+12:00

A double whammy this week, since they're both short books and both by the same author (and both of a genre that few people but me are interested in...) If you don't like books of the jolly hockey sticks variety, I suggest scrolling down to where I talk about the awesome movies I've been watching at the film festival. If you don't like films then... shit. I don't know. Maybe take a look at this excerpt from my favourite computer game instead?

Title: The New House Mistress (1928)

Author: Elinor M. Brent-Dyer

Why this book?
Firstly, since I have a driving passion to own hardcover copies of every book Brent-Dyer ever wrote; and secondly because it was going cheap on trademe. Oh trademe, where would I be without you?

What's it all about anyway?
The Middles at St Helen's School are very upset to hear that their beloved teacher, Miss Lessing, is leaving to get married during the half-term holidays. Lead by the charming and popular Barbara Allen, they decide to treat whoever takes her place as badly as possible, in a misguided attempt to stay loyal to her predecessor. Miss Oswald, the new house mistress, is determined to win the girls over, and almost does so when she saves one of the student's lives. However, Barbara is only more determined to show Miss Oswald she isn't wanted.

Barbara is badly shaken when she hears that her younger sister and brother, both living in India with her parents, were almost killed by a savage crocodile; only the efforts of a mysterious English girl saved their lives. Unable to sleep, she takes to the lawn in the middle of the night for a dance, where she is caught and punished by Miss Oswald. She also runs into trouble with the new teacher when she purposefully throws a tennis match in order to display her dislike for her.

In a final show of rebellion, Barbara and her friends put on a play for the rest of the Middles, the performance to be held in the middle of the night. The chosen play is based on the ballad of Barbara Allen, which, incidentally, I had never heard of before but a few different versions of it can be found here. (Warning: it is pretty dire.) The play is a success, but one of the audience members accidentally sets fire to the dormitories. Barbara finally realises how badly she's been behaving - but her realisation may have come too late, since Miss Oswald has been badly injured in the fire...

The Good and the Bad
This was a pretty quick read, which was a little disappointing since Brent-Dyer's books are usually comparatively substantial. It also meant that she had less time to develop her characters, which again was disappointing, since characterisation is really one of her strengths. As a result we really only got to know Barbara, and I kind of feel like I would have liked her more if I'd seen her before she started acting like a total brat to Miss Oswald. Miss Oswald for her part only narrowly missed being a 'plaster saint' - she wasn't completely perfect, but on the other hand, she did save a total of four lives in the story, on three different occasions, which felt a little heavy-handed (and by 'a little' I mean 'ridiculously').

Title: Carnation of the Upper Fourth (1934)

Author: Elinor M. Brent-Dyer

Why this book? I actually read this book online, which always ruins a little of the magic for me, but I've never ever even see a copy of it for sale, and also reading it online it was free. Sweet.

What's it all about anyway?
Carnation has been travelling the world with her artist father, and has therefore never been to school before. Her arrival on the first day of term immediately attracts the attention of Madge, the local doctor's daughter. Madge is given to running after a new girl every term but this year, for the first time, it seems that her friendship with Carnation will last. Their friendship is cemented after Carnation's father falls ill, and Carnation moves in with Madge's large, boisterous family.

At school, Carnation proves to be excellent at both tennis and French, upsetting her classmate Birdie, who was until Carnation's arrival the reigning champion at both of these. An inter-school tennis competition is coming up, and Birdie is worried that Carnation will be chosen to play - but she won't. She starts a petition to have only sixth formers play in the match, which infuriates the school prefects who see her behaviour as rude. Birdie, upset that her plan didn't work, refuses to play properly and doesn't make it into the tennis team - Carnation and Madge both do.

Birdie's friend Joan is one of her many followers. Like most of the girls at school, they're both Girl Guides, and are meant to be spending a weekend doing tracking practice. Birdie's brother offers to take them to see to a lake, if they can get permission from their Guide Leader. Birdie easily convinces Joan to join her, and doesn't bother asking for permission. Birdie also doesn't bother to tell Joan when she unexpectedly can't make it to the tracking practice. Joan takes off for the lake by herself and almost drowns before Carnation and Madge find her and save her life. Joan doesn't blame Birdie for what has happened, but when the truth comes out and Birdie gets into trouble, she blames everything on Joan and physically attacks her.

Birdie has now lost most of her friends, and she blames it all on Carnation. She is determined that Carnation won't get to play in the inter-school tennis match, and hatches a plan to lock her in an Art Room so she won't make it to the game. However, Carnation is freed in time to play her match, and Birdie decides she's better off leaving for another school.

The Good and the Bad
Despite being the titular character, Carnation wasn't really that interesting. I mean, she's basically good at everything she does, has no apparent faults, and is almost completely passive in the sense that things happen to her and she reacts to them. Yawn. Madge, on the other hand, is lovely - she's good-hearted and good-humoured, she's passionate and she doesn't really think things through; there's something about her which is very 'real', unlike Carnation. Birdie, too, is realistic - not very pleasant, but there were definitely girls like her at my school, some seventy years after this book was written! She came across as very charismatic, and it wasn't surprising that a lot of girls followed her lead, at least until the full extent of her character was exposed.

The story dragged in several places. The chapter on Carnation's father's illness was very odd; one moment I was reading a jolly school story, the next moment it was all praying to God and bedside vigils; then her father was completely out of the picture and it was back to the school story again. The tennis also went on and on and on; I mean, all I wanted to know was whether Carnation and co. made it into the school team, I didn't want a play-by-play of every single match.

So should I read these books or what?
Um. Neither of these are EBD's strongest books, although as I said, her characterisation, as always, shines through. Of the two I preferred The New House Mistress, but I'd still tell anyone who's interested to hit her Chalet School series first.

Lights, camera...
OK, so I've seen four films so far at the festival, and I can recommend three of them for you to see when they come to a Cinema Near You:

Bright Star is about Keats; or, more accurately, is about his relationship with Fanny Brawne. I'm not sure how true to life it is (and I suspect it's a lot more sympathetic to Fanny than many Keats biographies are) but it was a really beautiful film. This is coming from someone who usually hates romance in any shape or form, so the fact that I actually liked it should tell you how fantastic Bright Star really is. I think it's due for international release in about six months, so go and see it then!

The Baader Meinhof Complex, by contrast, was harrowing to watch. It is basically a potted history of the R.A.F., a left-wing terrorist group in Germany which rose out of the social protest movements of the 60's and 70's. One of the very first scenes shows police attacking peaceful student protesters, and the R.A.F. responds by blowing up a department store; the group continues to blow up buildings and execute the people it sees as fascists. Eventually the R.A.F. leaders are captured and subjected to horrific treatment in jail; but even then they have a huge following, particularly among the educated middle class. The movie does drag towards the end, but it's brilliant all the way through - and scary.

There are only two words that one can possibly use to describe Dead Snow, and those words are "Nazi" and "Zombies". Eight Norweigian university students go to a friends' isolated cabin to spend their winter break and accidentally awaken a sleeping evil from WWII. Again, can I just say Nazi zombies. Awesome.

I can't actually recommend the fourth film I've seen, as it was actually a selection of short films by the artist Len Lye. It was pretty amazing though - if you ever get a chance to check out his work, do!

Book 17 - Destination Unknown, or: All redheads look the same to me

2009-07-06T19:26:00.008+12:00

So this month is my favourite month of the year - the month that the International Film Festival hits town! Which includes the movie version of Coraline which has been out everywhere else since forever. This may cut into my reading time, though, since I'm planning on seeing at least nine movies over the next three weeks, and class starts up again on the 14th. Still, it's not like one update a week is totally arduous, so I'll do my best to keep to schedule! Meanwhile, I bring you another Agatha Christie - enjoy!

Title: Destination Unknown (1955)

Author: Agatha Christie

Why this book?
I went to the library to pick up a couple of books I wanted only to discover that none of them were readily available, which was kind of irritating. My back-up plan was to take out a couple of murder mysteries, and this was the only Christie on the shelf.

What's it all about anyway?
Hillary Craven has flown to Casablanca to kill herself. Her daughter has died, and her husband has left her, and she doesn't see that there's anything worth living for. But before she can take the large dose of sleeping pills she has collected, she is interrupted by a Mr Jessop. He tells her that if she's really so keen on killing herself, he's got a much better way.

Recently, it seems, a lot of Western scientists have been going missing - it's assumed that they've been defecting to the Soviet Union. The wife of one of the scientists, a Mrs Betterton, is suspected to have been flying out to join her husband; the plane she was on crashed, and she is now dying. Jessop wants Hillary to impersonate Mrs Betterton in order to find out what is really going on; they two both have the same mop of red hair, which is as much as she needs to pass for the other woman. What's more, she will almost certainly be killed during the mission if she accepts it. Hillary does; after all, one death is just as good as another.

Under her new identity as Mrs Betterton, Hillary meets her Soviet contact and finds herself on board a plane with a group of scientists who are preparing to defect from the West. But Hillary can't understand how a group of people with such different motives - fascism, money, communism - can all be going to create the same ideal world. Things only get stranger when she arrives at a hospital for lepers, and finds that Mr Betterton is prepared to pretend that she's his wife... there's definitely more going on than meets the eye.

Hillary realises that she no longer wants to die - but she might not even survive long enough to discover the truth, let alone to escape...

The Good and the Bad
First of all, I can't say the title of this book without breaking in to the second verse of OMC's How Bizarre. But that's probably just me.

This isn't the kind of book one usually associates with Christie - it's more thriller than murder mystery, and more adventure story than thriller. It's not nearly as strong as her murder mysteries, either, but her writing is as excellent as ever. She shows Hillary to be a strong, intellegent women, who is able to fight her way back, metaphorically, from the very pits of despair and find a whole new lease on life. Andy Peters, Hillary's love interest, has enough darkness to him that he's not too good to be true, but is good enough that we hope that whatever secrets he's hiding won't ruin his relationship with Hillary. And there's the usual satirical character descriptions:

"In an uncomfortable Empire-type chair, Miss Hetherington, who again could not have been mistaken for anything but travelling English, was knitting one of those melancholy shapeless-looking garments that English ladies of middle age always seem to be knitting. Miss Hetherington was tall and thin, with a scraggy neck badly arranged hair, and a general expression of moral disappointment in the universe."

The let-down of the book was really that Christie relied too much on the big reveal twist ending. Given some of the issues the book had touched on - charismatic leaders, ideals being hijacked by the power-hungry, and the East/West divide, it felt pretty weak. Without giving too much away, there is only one thing which isn't neatly tied up by the end, and it really felt like there should have been a lot more to it than that.

So should I read it or what?
The end was a bit of a let-down, but only because the rest of the book was so strong. This is definitely in the "I Couldn't Put It Down" category, and is therefore highly recommended!

Unrelated link of the day: IT IS A BOOKSHELF THAT IS AN IGLOO YOU CAN SLEEP INSIDE. OH GOD I WANT ONE.

Book 16 - Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China, or: Communism is not for lovers

2009-06-23T18:49:00.005+12:00

Dunedin trip was pretty awesome - barely froze to death at all due to deliciously heated motel room - but the book I took down with me was decidedly not. I was hoping to finish it last week and write it up, but I'm halfway through and it is still unbelievably dull. So instead, here's a book I read a few months ago, only twenty years after everyone else read it. (In my defence, I was only 5 when it was published).

Title: Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China (1991)

Author: Jung Chang

Why this book?
After Bomb, Book and Compass I was dying to learn more about China's history. I remember this book being pretty popular at school when I was 13 or 14, but Chinese Cinderella, which was published about then, put me off reading anything Chinese and autobiographical for a really long time (mostly because it was just so depressing.)

What's it all about anyway? Wild Swans tells the stories of three Chinese women whose lives span most of the Twentieth Century as huge social, political and economic changes come to China; three women the author knows intimately, as they are her maternal grandmother, her mother, and herself.

Chang's grandmother, Yu-fang, is born to a poor family, but her father schemes to have a high-ranking warlord take her on as his concubine in order to gain status. After a wedding ceremony, Yu-fang goes to live in a large household where all her material needs are left; however, she seldom sees her husband, as he has many other concubines as well as a wife. She's pretty miserable, as she distrusts the servants and convention dictates she does not return to her own family. Eventually she has a daughter and goes to live with in her husband's own household; however, after he dies, she realises her daughter is likely to be taken from her and raised by his wife as their own child. Yu-fang escapes back to her mother's house.

Yu-fan doesn't exactly have a lot of status as an ex-concubine living under her mother's roof, but nevertheless she falls in love with a kindly older man, Dr Xia, and he with her. They marry, but his family disapproves greatly of the match and his (adult) children go out of the way to destroy the relationship, even going so far as to hurt Yu-fan's daughter. Eventually, Yu-fan, her daughter and Dr Xia move away from his family home to an economically disadvantaged district; but despite her new poverty Yu-fan is very happy, and begins to learn the customs of Dr Xia's people (unlike her, he's Manchurian).

The story of Yu-fan's daughter is very different. De-hong (also known as Bao Qin) grows up seeing the Japanese and Chinese armies constantly battling for supremacy and is used to stories of their brutality and oppression; so she is surprised when she first meets members of the Communist army, impressed with their gentle manners and egalitarian ideals. She begins working for the Communist Party, and slowly works up the ranks, yet in the eyes of her superiors she is never fully committed to the Party - for one thing, she has friends among the Kuomintang (the Nationalist Party) that she refuses to see as enemies, and for another the fact that her own father was a high-ranking military officer makes her a possible enemy (despite the fact she never met her own father).

Still, when De-hong falls for a man who is a well-respected officer in the Communist Party, Shou-yu (also known as Wang Yu) she tries to become more dedicated to the Party, if only for his sake. The two marry, but Shou-yu's own conviction that he needs to put the needs of the Party before his own means that he often neglects his wife. De-hong, like her mother before her, is often lonely, and very unhappy, particularly since Party rules dictate that couples are seldom allowed to sleep together. These stiff rules do start to relax eventually - however, at the same time the ideal country that both Shou-yu and De-hong believe they are helping to build also starts to crumble away.

The couple have five children, including Jung Chang, the book's author. Chang's childhood is dominated by the growing cult of Mao; in contrast to Communists like Chang's parents, all Mao cared about was his own personal glory. After rising to power he began to stamp out past dissenters, present dissenters, possible future dissenters... And, of course, began brainwashing the children of China into believing the only way forward was his way. Chang herself willingly follows the other children, but thanks to her parents' influence finds herself starting to doubt Mao as she grew older. Still, she can't voice these doubts out loud, and like everyone else she is subject to the whims of the Communist Party's Leader - such as going to the country to work among peasants, despite constant illness and her lack of skills.

Mao's death leads to changes in China, although these changes are slow coming. Chang gets to go to university - something she's wanted to do for a very long time - and is able to study English, even meet foreigners. Finally, she is offered a scholarship to England, and the chance to leave China for good.

The Good and the Bad
The biggest problem I have with this book is the same problem I have with any autobiography, which is that it is impossible for the writer to describe her characters - her friends, family and enemies - without any bias, or to describe how an event transpired with a wholly impartial view. Chang does do a wonderful job with her grandmother and mother - although she clearly admires and loves them, she doesn't treat them softly, nor does she go the other way and treat them too harshly. When it comes to describing her own life, however, it really felt to me like she was talking herself up a little. Maybe I was just too cynical towards what I was reading, but whatever it was I didn't enjoy her story as much as I enjoyed the stories of her mother and grandmother.

Besides that, this was a wonderful book. It wasn't nearly as depressing as I thought it was going to be, and even when Chang is describing the most horrific of events she does so in such an even tone that it's surprisingly readable - she doesn't lay on the emotion, or revel in shocking her audience, she's simply telling what happened. That's really what makes Chang's story so believable, I think.

So should I read it or what?
This isn't a light read, but definitely worth putting in a few days of reading (even if I did start to skim a little towards the end...)

Unrelated link of the day: Superflat First Love, an animated music video created by Takashi Murakami for Louis Vuitton. Cute and cracktastic, this link was passed on to me from a friend who as big a dork about anime as I am.

The Friday Babble: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

2009-06-12T09:34:00.004+12:00

I'm going away this weekend - flying down south this very evening! Now, to the majority of my readers, 'down south' means, 'to a warmer climate'. Sadly, when you live in the Southern Hemisphere, the further south you get the greater your chances of freezing to death are. My luggage is almost entirely packed with thermal underwear and woolen clothing, but if you never hear from me again it will mean there is a new, somewhat attractively-shaped icicle somewhere in the heart of Dunedin, New Zealand.

Dunedin is where I went to university, by the way. The student flats there are renowned for their shittiness, and generally it was a good five degrees colder inside your room than it was outside in the fresh air. Generally you got at least one text every day from a friend which simply read, "Fk its cld." It wasn't that we were deeply invested in using abbreviations in our SMSs, it was because it was so fucking cold we couldn't move our fingers.

I remember those years fondly.

Anyway, returning to the place where I (mis)spent my youth - or as one friend endearingly nicknamed it, "that shithole" - has made me think about books where winter, especially winters of ice and snow, play a particular role. Traditionally, winter is seen as a bad time, which is pretty understandable. Winter was for a long time - and still is, for many people - the time of year where you can't simply live, but must try to survive; there was no work and no income, no fresh food, and families had to try and keep themselves and their animals alive until spring. If you wandered outside and a snowstorm hit, you were a gonna. Grim stuff, I know. And people still seem to have a deep distrust of winter, even people who can afford gas-fires and insulation and snowmobiles and a sexy wool hats with a pompom at the top.

So, here are some books where winter is more than mere scenery. If you do reside in the Northern Hemisphere I know this may seem a little unseasonable, but I guess you could always save this post and come back and look again in six months' time.

Title: Hatchet Winter (1996)
aka Brian's Winter and Hatchet: WInter
Author: Gary Paulsen
Gary Paulsen wrote a book called "Hatchet", about a boy named Brian who finds himself alone in the Canadian wilderness after the plane he's on crash-lands. It's a pretty thrilling book, all about how he learns to survive - forage for food, build his own shelter, protect himself from wild animals, etc etc. Since it's a children's book, it ends with the kid getting rescued.

But a lot of people wrote to Paulsen saying, "Surviving in the summer is all very well, but how would Brian have coped with the freezing winter temperatures?" In response, he produced Hatchet Winter, in which the boy was never rescued and is stuck for the winter. Brian's chances of survival suddenly get a lot slimmer. Also, he's attacked by a bear! Awesome.

Title: Child-44 (2008)
Author: Tom Rob Smith
As well as cannibalism there was a hell of a lot of snow. Are there any Russian novels in which there isn't any fucking snow?

Title: Moominland Midwinter (1957)
Author: Tove Jansson
Finally, a story where snow is actually seen as being kinda cool! No pun intended. Moomins always hibernate over winter, but this year Moomintroll just can't get to sleep. Instead he discovers everything there is to know about this mysterious time of the year - he learns to ski, he learns to ice fish and he meets the Dweller Under the Sink; but he also discovers there is a dark side to winter, and that death befalls anyone who meets the Lady of the Cold...

Title: The Snow Queen (1845)
Author: Hans Christian Andersen
I loved this story as a kid, partly because it is a fairytale in which a girl rescues a boy and not the other way around, but also because it is one of the few of Andersen's stories which actually has a happy ending. Seriously, the first time I read the original ending to The Little Mermaid I nearly had a heart-attack. It was also the start of my long-term vendetta against Disney, but that's another story.

Anyway, it's a beautiful story, and as a child I completely missed the religious overtones (for instance, Gerda says the Lord's Prayer to enter the Snow Queen's palace - I don't think I even knew what the Lord's Prayer was when I first read that.) It did give me the lasting impression that Europe is a terrifyingly cold place, though.

Title: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (1950)
Author: C. S. Lewis
First of all, you know that atrocious movie version of this book that came out a few years ago? We're not going to talk about it. We're especially not going to talk about how badly they raped Prince Caspian which I'm pretty sure they did just to piss me off.

Anyway, I love the Narnia series and I love this book. Even the overt symbolism of Aslan (aka as my homeboy, Jesus) bringing spring to the wintery land of Narnia which has been overtaken by the evil White Witch does nothing to diminish my love for it. I reread the whole series about once a year (except for The Last Battle, sorry) and it still continues to amaze me.

Although my seven-year-old self was really confused by the concept of "Always winter, but never Christmas!" Christmas happens in the middle of summer and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.

Um.

In conclusion, I think what we have all learned today is that winter is a terrible time, brought about by evil women who enjoy making small children suffer. Winter may very well kill you, unless you are a small Finnish troll or happen to have an ax handy.

An important lesson for us all.

Book 15 - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, or: Millennium: not just a shitty Robbie Williams song

2009-06-11T16:12:00.007+12:00

I had one of my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday, so I spent most of the day on Wednesday in bed, reading this book. I should have my teeth removed more often.

Image from My Good Friend Wikipedia. Thanks, Wikipedia!

Title: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2008)
Originally published as Män Som Hatar Kvinnor (2005)

Author: Stieg Larsson
Trans. Reg Keeland

Why this book? Because my Mum said, "Oh, I've heard this book is quite good," and bought it for me. I can't say no to a free book.

What's it all about anyway? Mikael Blomkvist is a fairly talented financial journalist who has just been convicted on 15 counts of libel, landing him in jail for three months. To Blomkvist, this seems like the end of the road - not only of his own career, but of the newspaper Millennium which he part-owns, which will never survive this hit to his credibility.

Then comes a completely unexpected offer. Henrik Vanger wants Blomkvirst to find the truth behind the mystery that has been haunting him for forty years. Who killed his beloved great-niece, Harriet? And, since Harriet's death, who has continued to taunt him by sending him a single, pressed flower, every year on his birthday - exactly as Harriet used to do? Vanger will not only pay Blomkvirst for a year's worth of his time, but he also offers to get the Millennium back on its feet. Blomkvirst reluctantly agrees to investigate Harriet's case, and slowly finds himself being drawn into the bizarre world of the Vangers, who are more a corporate dynasty than they are a family.

As Blomkvirst is pulled deeper into the story behind Harriet's disappearance, he takes on Lisbeth Salander as a research assistant - the girl with the dragon tattoo. Salander is possibly mentally ill, definitely emotionally warped, and entirely incapable of believing that not everyone is out to get her - but she's also a probable genius and an amazingly good private investigator.

Together, Blomkvirst and Salander realise that the Vanders have a lot to hide - and some of them are willing to go to any length to keep it hidden...

The Good and the Bad I started off reading this book expecting it to be just another thriller, but it turned out to be one of the best contemporary mystery books I've read in a very long time. So often I read mysteries where the solution is so obvious that I get frustrated that the detective hasn't figured it out yet - and I also hate it when mysteries are so over-complicated that their answer is just completely unbelievable. Larsson manages a perfect balance, laying down clues that are subtle enough that the reader can see the shape that the answer is going to take without being able to put a finger on the exact solution.

In some ways this book is almost a revenge fantasy - Salander, after being sexually abused, manages to turn the tables on her abuser in a way that might be described as poetic, while Blomkvirst's revenge on the man who set him up to go to prison is so enjoyable you can almost taste it. But in neither case does the revenge seem too far-fetched; in Salander's case, it shows us that while everyone else sees her as a victim she's never really felt that way, and in Blomkvirst's the story needed it to feel properly finished.

There are two main threads running through the book: abuse of women (the Swedish title of the book translates as "Men who hate women") and criticism of big business. Overall, Larsson handles the abuse of women part very well - generally such a topic makes me put down a book, since I just find it so hard to read about, especially when it involves rape and sadism. But the only part of the story which made me slightly uncomfortable was Salander's inability to understand that not all victims can fight back - is Larsson trying to argue that all victims should fight back (which to me sounds a lot like blaming the victim), or is he trying to point out how silly this argument is by putting it in the mouth of a character who doesn't really understand how other people work?

So should I read it or what? Without being a challenging read, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is engaging and really will keep you guessing until the end. I came to love Blomkvirst and Salander dearly, and I can not only tell you that you should read this book, but I'm going to go ahead and tentatively also recommend its sequel The Girl Who Played with Fire, which I haven't actually read yet.

Unrelated link of the day: The 10 worst subjects for a pop song. "Erectile dysfunction" isn't one of them, so I guess this Times writer is a Lily Allen fan.

Book 14 - The Summer Book, or: Finnish island whimsy

2009-06-07T19:52:00.004+12:00

I read this book a while ago and didn't take any notes, so this post is going to be on the short side, sorry! But expect a few extra posts next week to make up for it.

Title: The Summer Book (1972)

Author: Tove Jansson

Why this book?
If Finnish writer Tove Jansson's name seems familiar to you, it's probably because you remember an idyllic childhood reading her Moomintroll books. I was talking about them with one of my workmates one day (because all librarians do is discuss books, obviously) and she mentioned that she had a book of Jansson's that she'd written for adults. Needless to say, I was intrigued, and she was happy to lend it to me.

What's it all about anyway?
The Summer Book is basically a series of episodes exploring the relationship between a young girl, Sophie, and her grandmother. Sophie's mother is dead, and she now lives with her grandmother and her father on an isolated island, by themselves. Whether Sophie is building her own forest, sailing to the prohibited neighbouring island, or reluctantly entertaining a friend of her own age, the grandmother shows unwavering love for her granddaughter, and a deep understanding of the frustrations and hopes of young life, even as she herself begins to feel her own life is starting to draw to a close.

The Good and the Bad
The characters of Sophie and the grandmother are based on Jansson's own niece, and her own mother. Jansson wrote this book after her mother's death, and her grief is at times tangible in her writing. This is not a depressing book, though - just surprisingly emotional. For the most part, Jansson's stories are whimsical, insightful, and often quite funny. Sophie is a believable child - curious without being precocious, kiddish without being twee, and always an attractive character, even when she's sulking. And the grandmother is also perfect - full of love and understanding, and yet an old woman who is subject to an old woman's fears, and despairs.

So should I read it or what?
This is a stunning book, and I highly recommend it!

Unrelated link of the day: Alice. If you had to explain Alice's Adventures in Wonderland to someone with only pictures and music, this is what you would use. It may be the trippiest thing on the whole of the internet. (Either that, or I am incredibly high right now.)

The Afterdark Princess, or: The BSC wishes they were this awesome

2009-05-31T17:16:00.005+12:00

OK, so I realise I was kind of ranty last post! Not that I don't stand by my rants, but I realise it probably isn't the easiest thing in the world to actually read. No worries, though, to divert my attention from the research proposal I'm supposed to be working on, here is a short and sweet book rec.

Incidentally, I don't like this cover nearly as much as the one I had as a kid. A dude on a staircase isn't nearly as cool as a picture of a bunch of people in a forest being mysterious and badass.

Title: The Afterdark Princess (1990)

Author: Annie Dalton

You've read this before, haven't you? Only probably a hundred times! My primary (elementary) school had a copy which I read over and over again. Needless to say I was pretty stoked when I recently rediscovered it at a used book stall.

What's it all about, anyway?
Joe Quail isn't a very happy kid. His mum worries about him too much, he has nightmares every night, he's useless at everything and he's getting bullied at school. He hates everything and everyone - especially his neighbours, Kit and Maisy. When his mother leaves him with Kit and Maisy under the charge of the world's most perfect baby-sitter, Alice Fazackerly, he knows he's going to hate her too.

But Alice isn't just a baby-sitter. She's also the last princess of the Kingdom of Afterdark, and her kingdom is currently under attack from Cosmo, the Emperor of Nightfall. Joe doesn't want anything to do with sorcery and danger, but when Alice and Kit are kidnapped he reluctantly realises that he's the only one who can do anything about it.

Joe battles trolls and dragons, defeats a monster in a dungeon, and finally climbs up the long, high Shining Stair to face Cosmo, and he comes to realise that in Afterdark nothing is as it seems - not Alice, not Joe, and not even the Emperor of Nightfall...

So what's so great about it then, huh?
It's a kids' fantasy story about a magical world where you can become the person you've always wanted to be. And it also throws in a few important lessons, about how it's important to get to know people before you decide whether you like them or not. What's not to like?

More about this series: Actually, I didn't even know it was a series until I bought this newer edition - the one held at my primary school didn't mention the fact, and I never thought to look before! I haven't read any of the sequels yet, but they are The Dream Snatcher (1998), The Midnight Museum (2001) and The Rules of Magic (2004). Needless to say I'm going to take them out from my local library as soon as my holidays start!

Book 13 - Bloodhound

2009-05-25T18:50:00.010+12:00

Not-even-slightly-related link of the day: Questionable Content. A webcomic about music, love, and tiny, cute, sociopathic robots. About as addictive as a soap opera and occasionally as dramatic as one, but usually pretty funny and always entertaining.

And now, to business. I only have one assignment left to write, and miraculously I actually had time over the weekend to read something that wasn't an article on online bibliographical exhibitions (don't ask). Ergo, today I can actually write up a post! Huzzah! PS: I know, I totally abuse the word "actually". Just think of it a charming personality quirk.

Title: Bloodhound (2009)

Author: Tamora Pierce

Why this book?
So when I was about thirteen all my friends started reading Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness quartet. It didn't sound that great to me - a girl disguising herself as a boy to be trained as a knight sounded kind of clichéd, and I just wasn't interested. But then I discovered First Test, about the first girl to train as a knight as a girl, which sounded much better. I read it, and was instantly hooked, to the point that I immediately read all the rest of her books set in the realm of Tortall - and then everything else she'd written that I could get my hands on, including the recent White Tiger miniseries she co-authored for Marvel (which is excellent, by the way, and I highly recommend it to you even if comics aren't your thing). In 2006 she published Terrier, the first in a series set 500 years before Song of the Lioness. Bloodhound is the second in the series.

What's it all about anyway?
In Terrier, Beka Cooper was a trainee member of the Provost's Guard (kind of like the police) With her ability to hear the dead speaking and an unquenchable thirst for justice, she helped to bring down the child-murdering 'Shadow Snake'. Now she's a proper Guardswoman - one who is unable to hold down a partner. She's not the only member of the Watch to have that problem, though; Achoo, a scent hound (think sniffer dog) is having the same problem - worse, in fact, since Achoo is being abused by her handler. Beka takes over, and together her and Achoo make a formidable pair.

Meanwhile, there's a big problem facing Tortall; someone is circulating fake silver coins, and in very large numbers. Coupled with a bad harvest, this sends food prices rocketing, and a riot breaks out when the price of bread doubles. The money forging is traced to the city of Port Caynn, and that's where Beka is sent to investigate - along with Achoo, of course, and Guardswoman Goodwin, one of Beka's mentors. Beka enjoys herself immensely in Port Caynn, especially when handsome young gambler Dale starts to flirt with her.

Beka's investigations are putting her in some serious danger - not just from Port Caynn's criminals, but from its Provost's Guards as well. Beka knows she's in trouble when she's being hunted by both the menacing Pearl Skinner and her own fellow Guardsmen - but she's not going to let a little thing like that stand in her way of discovering the truth...

The Good and the Bad
As usual, Pierce has written a fantastic adventure story - and as usual I couldn't put it down. One of the things I love about this series in particular is that because it's set in Tortall's 'past', Pierce is able to slip in hints of how society changes between Beka's time and the events of the Song of the Lioness. In Terrier, it's mentioned that the slave trade is losing popularity. This time, we see the beginnings of the religious movement which is the start of the end of Lady Knights.

In Pierce's previous Tortall series, each of the female heroes were pitted against various evils, but each book built up to the final showdown against a powerful male villain - Alanna had Duke Roger, Daine had Emperor Ozanne, and Kel had... that sorceror whose name I've forgotten. Each of these villains has power from their magical abilities and from their societal status. In Bloodhound, as in Terrier, we're given different types of villains - women, who have no social status, who've gained what power they've had entirely from their own actions. They make the perfect antagonists to Beka, who like them has no social status, and who also has got where she is almost entirely by her own actions.

Like Terrier, Bloodhound is written in 'diary' format - and I just don't think that Pierce manages it entirely convincingly. For instance, writing in her usual third-person limited narrative, it would be fine to have the narrative explain the the Black God's priests wore veils to cover their faces, but it feels unnatural for a character to be explaining something like that in their own diary. It's a well-known fact as far as Beka is concerned - why would she feel the need to explain it in a diary which presumably only she is ever going to see?

I also felt that the writing around Okha, a trans* character, was weak. Shortly after meeting Beka, Okha tells her her whole life story, and it felt very much like Pierce was telling Okha's life story - would someone who has been hurt as much as Okha have really be so quick to trust a stranger? It did feel more than a little shoehorned. At the same time, it meant that Okha was explicitly trans* - and a protagonist, too. That doesn't exactly happen very often in popular YA fantasy.

So should I read it or what?
I have pretty high expectations of Tamora Pierce and I wish she would return to her old narrative style - it suits her writing so much better! But I still enjoyed Bloodhound and I'm still going to go ahead and recommend it. I'm already looking forward to the next Beka Cooper book, Elkhound.

And for extra credit: Tamora Pierce's webpage

Books 11 and 12 - Gorky Park and Polar Star, or: Russophiles love Soviet detectives

2009-05-17T10:03:00.005+12:00

Vaguely related link of the day: Should libraries have e-books? I'm not sure they should.

And now, to business. Sorry for the slightly extended time between posts - I have MILLIONS of assignments to write at the moment (and by MILLIONS I mean... three). BUT I decided to blog two-books-in-one-post to make up for the delay, and also to make up for the fact I might not have time to read anything next week. Woe.

Title: Gorky Park (1981)
Polar Star (1989)

Author: Martin Cruz Smith

Why this book?
One of my co-workers is a total russophile. I asked her if she'd read Child 44, and she was so incredibly excited to find out that I'd read it that she immediately leapt at the chance to recommend to me every book written about Russia or by Russians, ever. Which is actually pretty cool, because she has an awesome taste in books.

What's it all about anyway?
Arkady Renko is a Soviet detective who is assigned the case of a triple murder when three dead, faceless bodies are found in the titular Gorky Park. At first, Renko assumes that this has been a political killing, and that the case will soon be taken off his hands - but this never comes to pass. Drawn into investigating further despite himself, Renko finds out that things are more complicated than he had first imagined - involved are American businessmen and spies, Russian loyalists and traitors, and corruption, everywhere, even in his own police force. Yet Renko is unable to let things go, even as his own life is torn apart, and is determined to follow the truth, wherever, and to whomever, it leads him.

Polar Star begins sometime after the events of Gorky Park, with Renko hiding from his past, as best he can, on board a fishing factory ship. Renko is more than happy to keep his history and his thoughts to himself, but when a young crew member turns up dead he suddenly finds himself once more investigating a murder. This time, Renko finds himself in a different quandary; while he has nothing left to lose, his crewmates have plenty, and if he refuses to label the death as an accident or a suicide they're not going to be happy. But once again Renko's doggedness and curiosity make him refuse to let things go, which is how he finds himself trapped amongst the snow and ice with a man he convicted of murder in his former life - a man who is now intent on revenge...

The Good and the Bad
That classic, noir-ish detective feeling just worked so well for a Soviet detective story. Renko is jaded, tired of working in a country where there the truth is whatever his superiors tell him it is. Renko's wife is perfect as a woman who is more interested in her husband's career trajectory than in his own feelings, and Irina contrasts strongly with her as the femme fatale who is as much victim as she is a threat.

Probably the most interesting character arc across the two novels is that of Pribluda. When we first meet him he is everything that Renko hates: a political tool, and man who sees no problem with shooting prisoners and then claiming they were trying to escape. His loathing for Renko goes even further - when Renko is captured by Soviet authorities and tortured for being a dissident, Pribluda hopes that he will be the one who gets to finally kill him. And yet Renko's steadfastness and dedication to the truth, the very things that make Pribluda despise him, also make him the only person Pribluda can turn to when he himself is forced to see the corruption in the system he loves. Instead of killing Renko, he ends up helping him to survive. By the events of Polar Star, the two are actually good friends.

Something I really enjoyed was Renko's contact with America. To so many of his people, to the young, especially, America is almost a mythical place, a country without corruption, where people can think and say whatever they like. To Irina, almost any price is worth paying to get there; but Renko's trip to America sees him dealing solely with men who are just as corrupt as those he has left behind. In the end, Renko realises, he is too Russian to ever be truly happy in America, and he knows however much trouble he'll be in for his actions he'll have to return home.

In Gorky Park, there is no sign that Soviet Russia is anything other than the strong, proud, Communist nation is projects itself to be; but by the time Renko is at work on the Polar Star there are cracks showing around the edges. The books don't hold any of the chilling atmosphere found in Child 44 - Renko's jaded view of the world simply doesn't allow for that - but Cruz Smith portrays what were current events for him so accurately, and with surprisingly little bias, that this could just as easily be a contemporary, historical novel.

So should I read it or what?
My vote is yes, and yes. I actually enjoyed Polar Star more than Gorky Park, but I don't think there's any point reading the second novel without having read the first. There are actually four further books in the series, and you can bet I'm going to read them as soon as I can lay my hands on them (and when I've finished my MILLIONS of assignments).

On fiction...

2009-05-10T08:28:00.004+12:00

One of the books I'm reading at the moment is To the Hermitage by Malcolm Bradbury. This isn't a write-up of the book because I'm only a third of the way through reading it, and desperately trying to finish it because my friend leant it to me almost a month ago! Sadly I am also up to the eyeballs in assignments at the moment so that probably won't happen this weekend. You have no idea how desperately I am hanging out for my semester holiday in June.

Anyway, one of the characters in To the Hermitage is a writer (based, I think, on Bradbury himself) and has a lovely little spiel about why fiction is so much better than facts, which I thought I'd share, not least since it more or less reflects my own ideas on the subject!

"... fiction is infinitely preferable to real life, which is a pretty feeble fiction anyway. As long as you avoid the books of Kafka or Beckett, the everlasting plot of fiction has fewer futile experiences, dull passages, worthless days, useless contingencies than the careless plot of reality written in Destiny's above. Fiction's people are fuller, deeper, cleverer, more moving than those in real life. Its actions are more intricate, illuminating, moving, profound. There are many more dramas, climaxes, romantic fulfilments, twists, turns, gratified resolutions. Unlike reality or for that matter history, all of this you can experience without leaving the house or even getting out of bed."

Amen.

Book 10 - Austenland, or: That Colin Firth is a bit of alright, what-what? Rather!

2009-05-06T20:49:00.004+12:00

ETA: I apologise profusely for the abuse of italics in this post. I wish I could say it won't happen again.

Vaguely related link of the day: On the off-chance you don't read Steph's blog, I found a recent post of hers particularly interesting. Ever wondered how authors decide how their stories end? Read Authors: Your Endings? to find out.

And now, to business. Have you notice it's been getting all sexy to be into Jane Austen lately? I mean, obviously it's always been sexy to be into Jane Austen, but we seem to be going through a "hey guys who is this austen lady can we make any more moneys off her" phase. In terms of film we've had Bride and Prejudice (cheesy but delicious), the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice (not too bad), the Austen fictional biography Becoming Jane (freakin' awful) and last year's British comedy mini-series Lost in Austen (hilariously awesome). And as well as those dreadful Austen "sequels" people are continuously churning out (seriously, not a single one of them is worth reading) we've got modern, playful books like Mandy Hubbard's Prada and Prejudice.

Can you guys hear something coming? It sounds like... a bandwagon! I better jump on!

Title: Austenland (2007)

Author: Shannon Hale

Why this book?
After Rapunzel's Revenge I was interested in reading some more of Hale's books, and this one stood out as being quite different from her other books - plus, I do love me some Jane Austen.

What's it all about anyway?
Every time another relationship ends for American Jane Hayes, she once again finds herself daydreaming about her one, perfect man - Mr Darcy, as portrayed by Colin Firth. She can't help comparing each of her boyfriends to him and finding them wanting, yet she's equally determined every time she falls in love that this one will turn out to be her perfect man. She's embarrassed by her obsession with Mr Darcy, and yet she's unable to kick the habit of daydreaming about him.

And then her great-aunt dies and leaves her a very odd bequest: a visit to Pembrook Park, an English country manor where women can live their fantasies with actors who take on the roles of Austenesque characters - the cads, the gentleman, the busybody housewives, the rank-obsessed snobs. At first, Jane is reluctant to go, but she realises that maybe this is the key to her kicking her Darcy habit once and for all.

Jane finds life at Pembrook Park farcical - why would she want to fall in love, even pretend in love, with dashing gentlemen who are really just actors? Yet slowly she finds herself drawn into the pretence, and as she finds herself caught between two men she begins to wonder - how fake is life in Austenland, really? Worse, she begins to realise that in all her dreams of Mr Darcy, she might have somehow ignored the real significance of Jane Austen's books...

The Good and the Bad I actually almost put down this book as soon as I had started it, and it was over the silliest thing. Let's play a guessing game - see if you can guess what it was in this excerpt that infuriated me:

"The pesky movie version was the culprit. Sure, Jane had first read Pride and Prejudice when she was sixteen, read it a dozen times since, and read the other Austen novels at least twice, except Northanger Abbey (of course)."

Of course. Of course. What the actual hell, Jane? What do you mean, of course? If you had said, "except Mansfield Park (of course)" it would have been fine. Mansfield Park is possibly the most tepid love story ever written by anyone, featuring Fanny Price, who is the literary equivalent of a used tissue and about as useful as one (although less interesting). Every time I read it I secretly pray that the book will have somehow changed since I last read it and she'll end up with Henry Crawford, not the dull and pious Edmond who I yearn to knee in the balls. But Northanger Abbey? Sure, it's the least subtle and the least polished of Austen's works, but it's by far the most fun, and Catherine is a bright, playful character whose faults make her supremely endearing. Jane, you did not just of course me about Northanger Abbey. It is second only to Persuasion on the list entitled "Austen's novels, ranked from best to worst." There, I told you it was silly.

Anyway, I pressed on, and Jane and I ended up getting on quite well. Her reluctance to become another of the slightly crazed female guests at Pembrook, yet her interest in seeing if living her fantasy is quite what she'd imagined, somehow makes her wonderfully real. She has this intense desire for a beautiful romance which makes her obsess over the way each and every one of her past relationship have ended, which could have been irritating (I really don't like reading about romance-obsessed characters!) but instead comes across as almost comical, in a good way.

The other female characters are equally well-drawn. There's Mrs Wattlesbrook, the woman who oversees Pembrook, who insists on 'proper' behaviour at all times, has no sense of humour, and who is quite the snob - and yet who quite freely discusses her clients' personal business with whomever she feels like. Eliza Charming is quite hilarious, a 50-something American woman who is fixated on landing one of the actors and continually makes the worst faux pas, and is particularly awful about speaking English-English - "How do you do Miss Erstwhile, what-what? Spit spot I hope, rather."

The biggest let-down is really the book's conclusion. From the beginning it's obvious which of her two suitors Jane is going to end up with (at least, it is if you know your Austen!) and even a couple of good twists thrown in couldn't persuade me otherwise. And that would have been fine, except - well, Jane spends so much time dithering over which guy she likes, and whether she really likes either of them, and whether she maybe ought to just be by herself for a while, that at the end I wasn't really convinced that she should have ended up with anyone. It was plain that the guy in question really liked her, but it kind of felt like Jane was saying, "Well, he likes me, and he's a nice guy, so... hey! I suppose I might as well take him." I didn't get the feeling that this relationship was going to be any different from all her past disasters, and that made it a little unsatisfying.

So should I read it or what?
I wasn't blown away, but it was a good light read - if you're an Austen fan, and you're looking for something fun and not too mentally taxing, it's probably worth a go. Otherwise? Don't bother.