Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I've put off reading the new Nancy Drew: Girl Detective series for the longest time. I freely admit that part of the reason was that I don't really want to read about Nancy in a world with cellphones and web 2.0; I was also less than impressed when I read synopses of some of the plots. Oh, and the first person narrative is excruciating.

However, when I found that as well as new Nancy Drew books and new Hardy Boys books, there were also going to be new Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys crossovers books, I... may have wavered a little. Only enough to buy a second-hand copy of their third super mystery, Club Dread, mind you, and I'll write it up properly in my next post. Meanwhile, here are some musings on the more noticeable changes in the series.

• Frank and Joe aren't just detectives - they work for a nation-wide teen detective agency, founded by their father.
  
• Their mother doesn't know that they're detectives any more, which just seems terrible to me. It basically sets up the household as the men having a major secret from the women.
  
• Aunt Gertrude now has the more modern moniker, Aunt Trudy. It was difficult to tell if she is still the waspish maiden aunt, though, since she only had one appearance in this book.
  
• Frank and Joe's personalities have basically been built on from their 1980's Casefiles series. Joe is the more fun-loving, flirtatious guy; Frank is more serious, even dorky, and really shy around girls.
  
• Interestingly, while in the original crossover books had Nancy crushing on Frank and constantly torn between him and Ned, here Frank is the one with the crush. It's nice to have the romantic tension on the boy's side, and it also means Nancy doesn't seem like she's entertaining thoughts of two-timing her boyfriend.
  
• ...although Ned didn't seem to get any mention at all in this book. He does appear in the first Super Mystery, Terror on Tour, though, so I guess he's around somewhere.
  
• Bess is no longer the chubby comic relief! It would be nice to say that now she's a overweight character who is meant to be taken seriously, but instead she has super-model good looks and is an expert mechanic. She's still very interested in boys and fashion, but I resent that she's had to lose weight to stay in the series.
  
• George is still a tomboy, of course, and now she's bascially an expert hacker.
  
• Finally, Nancy is clearly meant to be a more rounded character than her previous incarnations, which seems to have been done by making her ocassionally forgetful and unable to run in high heels. OK! She is, however, still very intelligent, and very capable. If it wasn't for the very irritating first person narrative I'd almost be convinced to read her series.
  

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part Three.

Thrilling conclusion to our three part mini-series! Hold onto your hats!!!

Frank and Joe drop Nancy off at the hotel, then conveniently forget they agreed that they were all working together so that they can return to the castle. Then! A bat appears! Spooooky! As they walk around in the castle's caverns, a certain pale-handed bachelor begins to follow them around. Then, just as he's about to reach out and grab Joe, Joe... walks away. This dude has to be the world's least committed vampire.

The next morning, Frank, Nancy, Joe and Bess go for a stroll around town to find that people are hanging up wreaths of garlic all over the place. Worst. Christmas decoration. Ever. The four of them decide that Allison Troy is still the best clue they have to the missing paintings, so while he's singing Joe searches the trunk of his car, and Nancy and Frank search his room. Joe finds nothing, but Nancy finds a briefcase stuffed with what I assume is some kind of thieving equipment.

Allison's thieving gear: screwdrivers, wire, syringe.
My make-up bag has the exact same contents.

The Nancy and Frank flirt a little.

Frank: Do you always get like this when you're excited?
Nancy: Oh, you'll know when I'm excited.
Frank: I look forward to that.

The conversation is so deadpan that you can almost feel the UST, if by UST you mean "boredom".

The townspeople form a mob roughly reminiscent of the one their forefathers would have formed to kill the original Dracula, right down to what I assume is traditional Transylvanian dress (which looks suspiciously Bavarian.) Of course, they think they are after the original Dracula, so I suppose they have some excuse. Apparenly Dracs is angry because of the rock concert going on in his castle. One of the mob actually suggests they burn the castle. This is not only hilarious, but also impractical, as the castle is made out of stone, but I guess the point of mobs is that they're angry, violent, and stupid. Spooky!

Stavlin addresses the crowd and points out that there haven't actually been any killings. He's also apparently the community inspector, which - isn't he Romanian? Is Transylvania in Romania? Why does everyone there speak with a German accent, then? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

A mist starts to rise. I guess a country that has daily thunderstorms can handle a little mist in the evening. The Mayor invites Frank, Nancy, and Stavlin back to his apartments so that they can talk. Turns out he lives in part of an old prison, and the mayoral chambers are built like a fortress! Stavlin says that whoever attacked Fenton and the hotel-owner couldn't possibly attack the Mayor there. When Frank asks why he thinks the Mayor might be attacked, he says it's because it was the Mayor and town council who plotted Dracula's downfall originally. Fenton was just an unfortunate accident, according to Stavlin.

The conversation turns, and Nancy says she thought the burglary tools in Allison Troy's room were a little too conveniently placed. Stavlin thanks them for the information and leaves, after which the Mayor reluctantly agrees that he will stay in his fortressed-up mayoral office for the night, to avoid attack. He locks all the doors and bars the windows and I bet anything there's a secret passage. Back at the hotel, Nancy goes to bed while Frank waits up for Joe. Spooky!

Joe and Bess return from Joe's last gig. I would like to assure my readers that
what you can see is mist from the sky, not dope smoke from the van.

Then, Nancy is attacked by a bat.

She seems to be terrified, which I assume is a ploy because Nancy Goddamn Drew is not scared of any freaking bat. She actually throws a lamp at it. Frank and Joe bust down her door and rescue her, though. Frank points out that her window was barred from the inside, so that someone must have put the bat into her room. The only other explanation being that it was actually a vampire. The other other explanation is that the bat actually tunnelled its way into her room, up through the floor, but for some reason no one mentions that.

Stavlin shows up and tells them that Dracula isn't a myth, he's real! Stavlin is really starting to get on my nerves. Then the mayor's maid rushes in and says that something has happened to him. Spooky! They break into the mayor's apartments and find him slumped onto his desk, two puncture marks on his neck. The phantom bicycle repairer strikes again! Oooh! Or, you know, the vampire. The mayor is still alive, though! And the next day Stavlin arrests of Allison Troy, for the trail of art thefts across Europe.

Turns out that as well as the burglary kit, they found floor plans of the Louvre in Allison Troy's car! Seems like a done deal, right? Wrong! Because when Joe searched Allison's car the night before, there was nothing there. And Bess kept her eyes on Allison and his manager all night, and none of them were acting suspiciously. So someone planted the plans in the car, and the tool kit in his room. Spooky! But why? And more importantly, who?

The Mayor, of course! If no one could possibly have got into his room, then he must have done it to himself! That actually makes sense, but given that this is Stavlin's idea, and not Nancy's or the Hardy Boys', I'm guessing the Mayor's innocent. Well, that and the fact that he couldn't possibly have attacked the hotel owner because it would have meant being in two places at once. And that probably people would have noticed if he kept popping out of the country and returning with priceless artworks.

Anyway, with the mayor now under arrest, the townspeople ask Stavlin if he will be mayor. Spooky!

Stavlin: I? No, I have no political ambitions. [deprecating chuckle]

That is totally something that someone who was all along plotting to become mayor would say! Otherwise he would LOL no them properly, rather than allow himself to be quickly convinced in an entirely rehearsed manner.

Nancy doesn't believe Stavlin either, you can tell.
And, as an aside, Frank is wearing more blusher than Nancy.

Mystery apparently solved, the detectives say their goodbyes. This involves Joe and Bess necking while Frank and Nancy stare at each other saying, "Well. Uh, it's been nice meeting you and all..."

Frank and Joe drive back up to the castle, because Frank feels like there's still some loose ends. He heads down to the caverns, where Dracula's tomb is sealed behind a door with Dracula's crest on it. Except that it's not really sealed, because there's a hidden lever on the crest that opens it! Spooky! And inside the tomb? The stolen art! And also a coffin. Frank opens it to see what's inside. In case you're wondering, a skeleton. Ooooh!

Then! Stavlin turns up! And the boys have worked out that the connection between the attacks and the thefts is Stavlin himself. He was being forced to retire, so he was stealing the paintings in order to retire with a little money. He used the castle as his own private retreat, until Allison Troy rented the venue and Fenton Hardy turned up. The attack on the mayor was staged - Stavlin drugged him and then, when he'd rushed to his rescue, drew the puncture marks on his neck while the Hardys were distracted.

Stavlin traps the Hardys and threatens to push them down a gaping hole that just sort of appears in the floor. I guess the hows and whys of that aren't really important. But Nancy, Bess and a recovered Fenton rush to their rescue, and it is Stavlin who falls down the hole! But the Hardys rescue him. Man, I totally took all the dramatic tension out of that scene.

Stavlin is arrested, and it seems like everything's been wrapped up! Except for that UST between Frank and Nancy.

And... except for the fact that Stavlin doesn't have a reflection...

DUN DUN DUN!

I hope you have enjoyed this ~Spooky Special~. Expect some Trixie Belden goodness in the near future. And Happy Halloween!

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part Two.

Our spooky Halloween Special continues! Are you ready? Then I'll begin.

Nancy takes a look at Fenton's notebook and ascertains that he has a series of dates in it - that correspond to the dates of concerts performed by rock star Allison Troy. I always thought Alison was a girl's name, but I expect if I said that to Alice Cooper he'd beat the crap out of me with his guitar. Apparently, each of the art thefts took place during the concerts.

Frank tells Nancy that she's meddling in their father's case and she LOLs at him. Then Joe suggests that him and Frank go to Transylvania and liaise with her in Munich, but she tells him she's going to Transylvania. Right now, in fact.

Frank, Joe and the band arrive in Transylvania and have a look at the castle. There's another thunderstorm. That crazy Transylvanian atmospheric pressure. While they're outside, there's someone moving about... inside. We don't get to see his face, but he's very pale. Not to scare anyone, but I think he might be a vampire!!!

Vampires drink blood, are allergic to sunlight, and love their bling.

When they get to their hotel, they find Stavlin there, chilling with the locals and complaining about kids these days, etc. Spooky! The mayor of the town suggests that Stavlin isn't really angry about the rockfest so much as he scared of someone... or something. Stavlin makes the Hardys promise that he'll come to them if they find any news of their father. When they register at the hotel, they see that their father had signed in the hotel, sometime earlier. The boys decide to talk to Allison Troy himself.

The rock concert is about the lamest concert I've ever seen. You know the way old men dance at weddings? Yeah, that's how hardcore this concert is. Spooky! Allison's lyrics are pretty great though: "Good for nothing, bad in bed / Nobody likes you and you're better off dead / Goodbye, goodbye."

Rock musicians: super hardcore.

Allison warns them that nobody - but nobody! - is allowed down to the caverns below the castle. So the Mayor decides to go down to the caverns. Then Fenton's bearded companion warns him that it's super dangerous. Oh, those superstitious bearded companions! Stavlin also warns against it. Spooky! Turns out Joe can actually sing, so he takes to the stage while Frank investigates. Nancy and Bess arrive; Bess thinks Joe is totally hot. They take off into the caverns, too.

The mayor's party is the first to take a wrong turn. They end up by a door marked with Dracula's crest. The bearded companion panics, and the others laugh at him, but they follow him away from it anyway. The mayor notices that, as the leave, the stone roof starts to crumble. Then the door starts to open... The party goes through a torture chamber and one of them - the hotel owner - starts to lag behind. A ringed hand reaches for him...

Frank stumbles across the hotel owner's body. He's in one of the cells, unconscous but alive. Unfortunately, while he's in the cell, someone with a pale ringed hand decides to lock him in. Then Bess and Nancy arrive on the scene - just in time to see that the hotel owner has two small puncture wounds on the base of his neck! Some kind of bicycle wheel repaire gone horribly wrong, perhaps? Bess runs for a doctor while Nancy picks the lock with a hairpin. With this knew, spooky angle to the mystery, Nancy and Frank agree to start working together.

Not pictured: Nancy holding Frank's testicles in a vice-like grip. Who's the Alpha Male now, huh?

Joe's unimpressed that Nancy has joined them, until she reveals that she thinks she's found their father. He was found by some monks, and the reason Interpol hadn't found him was that he only had ID with his alias on it with him. Obviously! Luckily, Nancy is smarter than Interpol. Frank and Joe visit Fenton, and Frank tries really hard to emote. He's been unconscious for at least four days. Turns out he's got the same puncture wound. Spooky! Then Frank, Joe and Nancy all pretend not to believe in vampires, and drive off into the night.

THRILLING CONCLUSION TOMORROW!

But first, a small mystery! Allison's audience are all dressed in spooky costume for the occasion. That's all well and fine, but what the hell is this guy dressed as?

Spooky Halloween Special!!! Part One.

I've been gone for a while, I know. And I'm sorry! To make it up to you, my loyal reader(s), for the next three nights I will be presenting something very special. And seasonal. Yes, it's the episode of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries where the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew meet Dracula! The episode is called: "Meet Dracula". It's right there on the tin!

Our story opens in Transylvania. Oooh! Spoooooky! The Hardy Boys' father, the dashing Fenton Hardy, drives up a dark, spooky road with a bearded companion. The bearded companion explains that he's been the only one to drive this way for many, many years. But now an American rock singer is coming and... I guess he's going to be using the road, too? At last, they reveal where they are driving to - a castle! A very square, jail-like castle. The music swells dramatically. A wolf howls in the distance. A thunderstorm starts. I guess Transylvania's been hit by a warm front, with westerlies blowing straight from the Isle of Clichés.

Spooky! Well, sort of spooky. Well, if you squint a bit, and tilt your head to the left...

The bearded companion warns Fenton not to go inside, and then abandons him at the castle gates. Fenton chuckles, dashingly. Oh, those bearded companions! How superstitious they are. Fenton goes in anyway, because he's a HARDY, dammit. A bat appears, but Fenton is wearing a trenchcoat and totally dapper boots, so he's not scared. He comes to some kind of courtyard and the music swells once more. This is so spooky, you guys. I'm on the edge of my seat. Then he finds a gargoyle. Oooh! Another bat appears. Or possibly the same one, it's kind of hard to tell if you're not intimately acquainted with bats. Fenton, surprised, drops his torch... into a pile of bones! Man, this castle has everything.

Being a great lover of musical theatre, Fenton knows to keep his hand at the level of his eyes.

Then Fenton is knocked out by a shadow. DUN DUN DUN!

Two weeks later, Paris. Frank and Joe are following every lead they can to try and find their father. They arrive at Fenton's hotel room to find a Romanian detective, Hans Stavlin, going through their father's things. Turns out Fenton was working with Interpol on an international art theft case. Interpol has zero leads on the case or on Fenton's whereabouts. Interpol sound pretty useless all-round. Spooky! Stavlin suggests they go back to the States, but the Hardys find their father's notebook, which includes a memo of a meeting in a Munich hotel.

Guys I have read like a million Hardy Boys books, and at no point have they ever described the fabulousness that is these boys' hair. Spooky!

The boys decide to go undercover so they... join a band. Obviously. The band's heading to the Transylvanian Dracula Festival, which! Coincidentally! Is also mentioned in Fenton's notebook!

In Munich, the boy check into their father's hotel room, then go out to get something to eat. Then - Nancy Drew arrives, with Bess! Spooky! She's travelling under the name "Miss Fredericks" and is alarmed to hear that there is a rock group staying in her room. So she gets the bellhop to take their bags away. (There's this whole joke about how the bellhop is a former Nazi. It's reeeeeally not much of a joke.) Frank sees the bellhop taking the bags away, and tells him to take them back. When he hears it's two ladies in the room, he asks the bellhop to take their bags back down to the lobby. Nancy catches him at it and sends him back up. Hilarious! I mean, spooky!

Nancy and the Hardys end up in the same elevator together. Frank tries to flirt, but Nancy brushes him off. They reach their (shared) room, and Frank tries to pick up Nancy's luggage, so she judo flips him. Nancy is awesome. But, finally, they realise that they're actually all there to see each other, and they start discussing the case.

Frank: still macking on Nancy. Joe: Has a nice arse. Spooky!

TO BE CONTINUED! OOOOOH!

The Clue in the Comic

Kate Beaton has done a series of comic strips riffing on classic Nancy Drew covers. I love Kate Beaton's humour, so if you're not already a regular reader of hers, they're well worth checking out.

"George knew that Nancy and mystery were never far apart."

Nancy Drew Mystery Stories #5
The Secret of Shadow Ranch

The Case:
Nancy touches down in Arizona, where she's going to be spending some time on Shadow Ranch, owned by Bess and George's Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet. George and Bess meet Nancy with the news that there's a mystery at the ranch, and Uncle Ed might not let them stay for long unless Nancy can solve it. Protip to Uncle Ed: if you do not want a mystery at your ranch, don't call it Shadow Ranch. Call it "Happy Hippos" or something. No self-respecting detective would take on a case called "The Secret of Happy Hippos Ranch".

Turns out that Uncle Ed only purchased the ranch recently and has been trying to do it up, but so many things have been going wrong that he thinks it must be sabotage. Then, one night, the ghostly apparition of a horse appeared.

Supposedly it's the horse of the outlaw, Dirk Valentine, who was shot by the then-sheriff after he started romancing the sheriff's daughter. Dirk swore that his horse would haunt Shadow Ranch for evermore. He sounds kind of lazy, to be honest. Why not just haunt it himself? I call animal abuse.

While the cousins are explaining this, some old guy steals Nancy's knitting bag. She finds it again almost straight away, and wonders if he'd been snooping for some reason. Then the girls find him dropping a note into their car. The note reads Keep away from Shadow Ranch. Subtle. Nancy decides that clearly someone is trying to chase the ranch's new owners off the property, and thinks it was probably an inside job.

The girls give chase, but lose the note-dropping, wool-stealing weirdo, and start the long drive to the ranch instead. Bess suddenly remembers that there's another mystery they haven't told Nancy about. Their cousin Alice's father went missing six months ago, after a bank robbery. The media has hinted that he may have been involved in the robbery, but Alice refuses to believe it. Nancy agrees to help. Now, what is the likelihood that these two, completely separate, mysteries somehow end up being related? Pretty unlikely, right? I'm sorry I even brought it up.

Naturally, some crazy shit goes down during the drive. The girls are hit by a sandstorm - Nancy's excellent driving keeps them on the road - and have to make a quick stop to make sure the car's OK (and reapply their lipstick - nothing erodes make-up like a desert storm!). Bad news: the car's radiator is stuffed, and the car keeps overheating. Worse news: even though the girls thought they had brought two flasks of water, they've already drunk one, and the other one is myseriously empty! Good news: at least their make-up is flawless. Thank God for ColourStay.

The girls contemplate death from broken car and/or dehydration for a while, but they're saved by one of the workers from the ranch, Dave Gregory. (He's tall and handsome, of course.) Dave tells them off for not bringing water, and also calls them "dudes" which I guess is cowboy talk. George protests that one of the other cowboys, Shorty Steele, had said he'd fill their flasks, and Dave's eyes narrow ominously.

At the ranch, Nancy is almost attacked by a farm dog whose name is, um, Apache Chief. Since I recently read a book where not one, but two cats were called 'N-word' this doesn't appal me as much as it might otherwise. Nancy stands her ground and the dog calms down and decides to become her best friend. I add "animal whisperer" to my rapidly growing list of Nancy's skills. Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet warmly welcome Nancy to the ranch, especially now she's proven she's not bad for a "tenderfoot". At dinner, Shorty denies agreeing to fill the girls' flasks, and Nancy is pretty sure he's full of shit, although her phrasing is slightly different.

Nancy decides to look at the warning note she got earlier, and Bess digs through Nancy's knitting bag to retrieve it. Surprise! There's a second warning note tied around a rattlesnake's rattle. It's even conveniently labelled, Second warning. You know, just in case Nancy had lost count, or had thought that she'd absent-mindedly put part of a dead snake in her own knitting bag. Nancy doesn't seem particularly bothered. Even though she lies awake that night, it's because she's thinking about Dave Gregory, not about the people who are threatening to kill her. Well, he is tall and handsome, so I can't really blame her for that.

Nancy and the cook both see an intruder, and the cook is positive that he's entered the kitchen. But there's no way out of the kitchen - except through a convenient trapdoor which apparently doesn't lead to anywhere beyond the basement. Uncle Ed, Nancy and Dave go down to the basement to find him, but there's no one there. Dave tells Nancy that he wasn't in the bunkhouse when the intruder arrived because he was doing "extra sleuthing", which Nancy thinks is pretty suspicious.

The next morning, the water isn't running - someone's dicked over the pump. The clay around the pump is red - and the same clay appears on both Dave and Shorty's boots. Dave offers to go into town to collect parts to repair the pump, and says he'll give Nancy a lift as well. When Nancy brings George along he gets all grumpy and Nancy can't work out why. Apparently Nancy is good at everything except noticing when cowboys have a crush on her.

In town, Nancy pays a visit to the sheriff, and I almost fall asleep because for a book jam-packed with action this scene is ridiculously dull. Nancy, sensing my mood, stops a burglary inside a gift shop. Some guy wearing a black kerchief over his face is busy scooping jewellery into a bag as Nancy walks past. Nancy stops him, of course, and the shop's owner is overjoyed even though Nancy doesn't manage to catch the thief. The shop's owner is Mary Deer, and she's Indian. You can tell she's Indian, because she's described as Indian right there on the page. Also on the next page, and the page after that. On every page, basically.

Mary Deer: she's an Indian!

Mary Deer wants to give Nancy something to thank her, and produces an old-fashioned watch on a fleur-de-lis pin which the outlaw Dirk Valentine gave to his sweetheart, Frances Humber. Mary points out Valentine's symbol - a heart - and tells Nancy that apparently he left a treasure for Frances that she never received. Rumour is that Valentine's fortune is buried somewhere on Shadow Ranch. Could that have anything to do with the shit going down on the ranch? Probably! Nancy plays with the watch for a while, and somehow manages to open up a secret compartment with a message inside. The message says, green bottle in-. Green bottle in where? Nancy doesn't know, but despite the fact that she has the whole world to search through, she doesn't seem particularly worried.

That night, the phantom horse returns. Lead by Shorty, everyone gives chase, and while they're gone someone turns over Nancy's room, searching for the watch. Nancy is wearing the watch, so she's not too upset. She tries to follow the horse's tracks (prints?) but Shorty produces a short-cut which somehow loses the trail. I would not trust Shorty as far as I could throw him, and I throw like a girl. Also, no one seems to be suspicious of him, and when Nancy ever brings up the fact that this has to be an inside job Uncle Ed gets shirty. Jeez, no wonder he needs an eighteen-year-old to solve this thing for him.

Alice sees a picture that Nancy bought from Mary Deer's shop, and decides that her father must have drawn it. Everyone else thinks she's still in denial about him being dead, and also a crook. Still, Nancy gets the name of the artist from Mary and learns that he lives in a cabin up in the mountain, and later she organises a horse ride for the four girls to go and meet him. There's nobody at the cabin, but there is a half-finished picture - another by Alice's father. Then, suddenly - a flash flood! Nancy, George, and Alice's horses are happy to swim across the now-swollen river, but Bess's horse isn't trained for it. Nancy has to go back for her and her horse. Which... doesn't make any sense to me. Bess's horse is happy to swim, but only if its lead? Admittedly, I know jack-all about horses. Plus, Dave is so impressed by Nancy's heroism that he actually apologises to her for being such a jerk. Nancy finds this somewhat suspicious. Then he locks her in stable, which she finds even more suspicious.

Nancy pries open a window with a crowbar, and as she climbs out she notices a light on in the spring-house, where the ranch gets its water from. She rushes over, and even though she doesn't see anyone leave the spring-house is empty by the time she gets there. Nancy realises there must be a secret passage from the spring house to the cellar. Along with Bess and George, she finds a false floor under one of the vats in the spring-house, and goes down through it to the cellar, where she discovers... Dave Gregory!

Dave freely admits that he's been looking for treasure, but denies being the phantom horse or sabotages the farm. Turns out he's a descendant of Frances Humber. His family has Valentine's will, and the missing part of Nancy's clue - the word cellar - and as they're hard up financially he thought it was about time they actually looked for it. Dave apologises for being such a dick, and says that he's caught someone else snooping from time to time - Shorty.

Dave tells them more of Frances and Valentine's story. They were meant to meet at the spring-house one last time, but the Sheriff lay in wait for him and shot the outlaw dead. When he came to tell Frances the news, she was lighting a lamp. Nancy wonders why she was lighting a lamp, when surely she must have heard the shots, and wonders if she'd found the green bottle and was hiding it. The girls ask Aunt Bet if there are any lamps left from the Humber ranch, and sure enough, there's one with a green bottle inside.

It took Nancy some time to work out which lamp contained the green glass bottle.

There's a letter from Valentine to Frances inside the bottle. Nancy starts to read it, but just then the power goes out. It's been cut, as have the phonelines. Nancy suspects that the ranch's enemies are after the new palamino horses. George and Bess hurry off to find Dave, and Nancy runs into ranch-hand Tex. Together they discover the Bud, who was meant to be guarding the horses, has gone missing. Then the phantom horse appears, and Nancy is determined to catch it. She chases it on horseback, but it runs right through the palaminos, and her own horse starts and throws her. Nancy blacks out.

Nancy comes-to to the news that the fences keeping in the palaminos have been cut. The men ride off to find the stray horses, and Nancy returns to the house to read the rest of Valentino's letter. It says that the treasure is hidden in the ranch's "oldest dwelling". Aunt Bet tells her that that's the house that they're in, but the girls are unable to find anything by searching.

Nancy and Alice decide to take another ride up to the mountsin cabin to find Alice's father. Shorty offers to saddle up their horses for them, and when Nancy gets on hers it starts bucking wildly. Tex quickly finds a nettle under the blanket, but Shorty denies all knowledge. As no one has any proof, they let him go, and Nancy and Alice ride to the cabin. It's opened by the man who gave Nancy her two warning notes. He claims to be the artist, but he refers to the pastel drawing as "paintings", and Nancy knows he's full of crap. It also confirms that whoever has Alice's father is also messed up in the ranch sabotage.

Nancy and Alice return to the ranch to get ready for the rodeo, barbeque and square dance that is planned for that evening. Dave is taking Nancy, and Bud and Tex are conveniently taking George and Bess. I forget which is taking which but they're pretty much interchangeable anyway. While waiting for the rodeo to start, Nancy is told there's a phonecall for her. As she excuses herself to take it, she's grabbed by two men - Mr Bursey, the fake artist, and Mr Diamond, the man who may have burgled Mary's store.

Luckily, on the very next page Bess and George demand the men let her go, and Nancy is free - but the men escape. Nancy worries that they'll never get caught, and gets a brainwave. After the dance, while the master of ceremonies is speaking, Nancy gets up on the stage and announces that the men of Shadow Ranch are going to go digging for Valentine's treasure the next morning. Shorty tries to find out what she meant, but Nancy won't tell.

The men set out the next morning on horseback, with an extra horse for the treasure. Nancy and the girls also set out, heading in the opposite direction. Nancy is sure she knows where the treasure really is - in a set of cliff houses, up Shadow Mountain. They're not part of the ranch - but they were when Valenting wrote his note. First, they head for the artist's cabin. It's empty once again, but Nancy is sure there must be a secret passage somewhere. There is, and it leads straight up to the rundown cliff houses. There they find Alice's father, bound on the floor. And they also find Valentine's secret hideout - and his treasure!

Nancy lights a fire to signal to the men that they've found it, but Mr Diamond appears, telling her that even though the gang started off following the ranch workers, they saw the sherriff following and realised it was a trap. They saw Nancy leave the house, and trapped Bess and George - and the treasure - inside. Nancy uses every delaying tactic she knows, then starts to play the gang members off against each other. She gets confessions from Bursey and Shorty, and Diamond angrily threatens to kill everyone. But before he can, Dave and the others arrive, having seen Nancy's signal fire go out.

Conclusion: Alice's father interrupted the gang when they were robbing his bank, so they took him with them so he wouldn't identify him. Why not just kill him straight away? Mr Diamond found out about Valentine's treasure while talking to Mary Deer, and they decided to stick around to try and find it. Oh, and the phantom horse trick was done by painting a horse with phospheresent paint, and then shining a light on it, adding crulety to animals to the gang's many crimes. Their biggest crime? Stupidity. In the time it took them to not find any of the clues to the treasure, and not find the treasure itself, they could easily have robbed a couple more banks and be off somewhere nice, living the high life. Instead, they're in jail, Dave gets the treasure, and there's a horse somewhere dying very slowly of radiation poisoning. (This might not be true. I don't actually know anything about science.)

Case notes:

• This time, Nancy's hair isn't reddish-blonde, but titian. My good friend wikipedia informs me that this is more of a brownish-orange.
• ...and Bess is only "slightly plump"...
• ...and, just in case you were worried, George may be tomboyish, but she's attractive too.
• Then again, the sandwich shop at the airport is also described as attractive. I'm thinking our author just needed a decent thesaurus.
• The book's setting is really just an excuse to get the characters to unronically use the word "pardner". And it gets old real fast.
• Mary Deer "was wearing a vivid red beaded dress and had a glossy braid over each shoulder". Well, of course. How else would people know she was Native American?
• Valentine is so romanticised. I find it hard to believe that any real outlaw would go around wooing sherriff's daughters and drawing hearts on his horse. Real outlaws would be raping and pillaging.
• So, now Nancy's a good knitter, an excellent driver, a baker of delicious chocolate cakes and a natural on horseback. Bess, on the other hand, fails even to throw a lassoo.
• On the other hand, Bess does set up Alice with Tex's brother, Jack. George, on the other hand, contributes approximately nothing to the entire story.
• The name of the nearest town is Tumbleweed. Tumbleweed.
• Poor Ned only gets a one line mention in this book, in which Nancy says that he's in Europe and won't be back until after she returns to River Heights. This seems a little harsh, given that she's busy getting her cowgirl on with Dave, but in the original run of the series he didn't make his first appearance until book #7. Obviously the line was added in later, to explain his absence from the plot.
• On one of their trips into town, the girls all buy "colorful squaw dresses". They then go to a Spanish restaurant and eat tacos, that well-known Spanish dish.
• In case you're wondering just exactly what one does at a square dance, here's one I prepared earlier:

The Cover:
This book should have been titled "The Mystery of Why Nancy Thought That Shirt Was a Good Idea". She's rocking that perm, though, and I appreciate a girl who can stay on a bucking horse without blinking an eyelid. Still, this is hardly the most exciting cov oh shit it's a ghost horse.

"You have enough adventures in one day, Nancy, to last most people a week."

The Double Jinx Mystery
Nancy Drew Mystery Stories #50

As I'm sure your own supreme detecting skills have already noticed, the cover claims this is book 38. When the series was reprinted in paperback, they were all done out of order - but I've decided to stick with the original numbering. So, it's book 50. Just roll with it.

The Case:
Our story begins with Nancy talking over her latest mystery with her friends, Bess Marvin and George Fayne. For future reference, George has a "boyish figure" which I guess means she's flat-chested and short dark hair, while Bess is "plump, pretty, and blonde" which is short-hand for "the one the guys want: may have boobs". Nancy's father, lawyer Carson Drew, has been asked to un-jinx someone. He's already had several threatening phonecalls from someone who promises to curse him, which worries Bess although George thinks it's ridiculous. Being the pretty one also means you're superstitious, because only girly ladies are that silly!

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it seems that someone has left a (dead, stuffed) bird on the doorstep. In an incredibly lucky coincidence, Nancy's housekeeper, Hannah, knows all about birds, because studying them is her hobby. This will probably never be mentioned again. Turns out the bird is a wryneck, used in ancient times to put a curse on people! Nancy immediately leaps to the totally rational conclusion that there's a bomb in the house! There isn't! This is only the first chapter and I've already almost used up my exclamation quota!

A bomb, possibly.

Back to the mystery: Carson's client is Mr Thurston, who owns a bird sanctuary/aviary, but the High Rise Construction Company want to get it condemned so that they can develop their land. At this point, I laugh like a loon over the world's most unimaginatively named development company. Nancy and pals head over to the Thurstons' aviary and immediately stumble across some dude trying to cut open one of the bird cages. Nancy and George chase him, but lose him.

Bess is caught by Thurston's assistant, Rausch, by the open cage, and the girls are accused of being the perpetrators. George gets angry, but Nancy manages to save the situation. I know if a 18-year-old girl told me to "just calm down" I'd be perfectly willing to listen to what she said, and then believe her crazy tales about some mysterious guy with wire cutters. Nevertheless, Rausch does believe her, and introduces her to Mr Thurston, who then shows Nancy and pals around the aviary. Nancy is surprised to see a wryneck (that is neither dead nor stuffed) named Petra there, and wonders if its owner, a Eurasian girl named Kamenka Nolastnamesky, has anything to do with the mystery.

The girls meet Mrs Thurston, who is an invalid and incredibly superstitious, and Kamenka, who is quick to take offence when Bess inelegantly asks what she knows about wrynecks and jinxes. Nancy, of course, would never have been so gauche.

With her father's help Nancy determines that the dead wryneck came from Harper University. Where Kamenka is studying. And only Kamenka has recently borrowed the dead wryneck! Um, why, if she has her own? That doesn't make any kind of sense. Nancy then sees Kamenka talking to the same guy who was trying to break into the bird cages, but ol' Kammy claims she was just asking him what he was doing on the property. Despite this incredibly suspicious behaviour, Nancy doesn't think that Kammy could be involved, because she's such a lovely person. Nancy, sometimes seemingly nice people are employed by development companies to place curses on people, OK? And sometimes seemingly nice people are cannibalistic killers.

The local police let Nancy look through their sketches of wanted criminals with no supervision, and Nancy draws a beard on one of them. The sketches, I mean, not the police. Instead of telling her off for tampering with police property, the chief of police identifies him as the mystery bird-freer. His name is Slick Fingers O'Mayley. Of course it is.

Nancy calls her "special friend", Ned, and asks him to help her do some sleuthing. Apparently it's the summer holidays and Ned is selling insurance, but he happily gives it up help Nancy. He also accompanies her to the Thurstons', where Mrs Thurston is confronted by a ghostly, leaping spectre, who gives her a piece of paper with a jinx on it. She pretty much goes into hysterics, and Ned and Nancy offer to help the couple out while she recovers. This is a bad idea, since Ned gets knocked unconscious while Nancy is cooking dinner.

Nancy figures that Mrs Thurston's spectre could be a ballerina, based on the fact that he leaps. You know what else he could be? A long-jumper. The two N's head to the ballet. Nancy finds out the mystery leaper is probably Merv Marvel, who was kicked out of the company for unsavoury behaviour, but who had a fascination for superstitions and jinxes. The company director teases Nancy into dancing for him, and she turns out to be so good that professional dancers stop what they're doing to ooo and aaaah. I can only assume Nancy's dancing resembles Scott Hasting's:



Ned comes down with bird 'flu (actually, ornithosis which is really a thing even though I assumed it was made up) and Nancy gets really worried about him, which I can't mock because it's super cute. Despite being completely delirious, Ned realises that if he was deliberately made ill, then Slick Fingers will be sick too, so Nancy tries to find the hospital that is treating him. She not only discovers where O'Malley is being treated, but she also discovers he has a tattoo shaped like the jinx that the leaping ghoul gave to Mrs Thurston.

Since the High Rise Construction Company can't have the aviary condemned without the local council's approval, Nancy et al. do their best to convince the councillors to vote against the condemnation. Bess and George take it upon themselves to visit one of the councillors, a newspaper owner, themselves, and he shows interest in their proposal that the development be redesigned to include the aviary. He considers running some editorials in favour of the idea, and offers to show the girls around the offices. Everything is going swell until some little punk covers the girls with glue and red ink. Presumably some fashion journalist disapproved of their sweater-and-jeans combo. Personally, I think Bess can work it, but I'd like to see George in something a little more feminine ocassionally. She'd look fierce in a maxi dress.

Meanwhile, some crazy shit has been going down with Kammy Foreignerovich. First she packed up and leaves the Thurstons for no apparent reason; then she gets accused of stealing from her college; then her wryneck disappears. Nancy quickly clears up the confusion over the stolen items - Kammy's professor didn't think for a second that she was the culprit. It turns out that Kammy only left the Thurstons' because she thought she was bringing them bad luck. And, lastly, Petra reappears - with a missing heirloom of Kammy's taped under her wing. The plot thickens!

Mr Drew tells Nancy that all councillors but one have been convinced by her plan to include the aviary in the new development. The only one left stands to gain some serious money out of the new housing, and yet the fact that he has a vested interest in the deal is at no time pointed out as being the gateway to corruption. I guess political corruption doesn't exist in River Heights. Nancy offers to take his nine grandchildren to the aviary, and squeezes them all (plus Bess and George) into the car. She's immediately pulled over by a cop, but luckily the combined power of Nancy' wholesomeness and the children's lovableness is more than enough to assuage the policeman's need to arrest Nancy for breaking the law and endangering the life of each of her eleven passengers.

The children love the aviary, and mention to Nancy that not only have they seen the same dancing spook as Mrs Thurston, but they ocassionaly get visited by a "Mr Mervman" who threatens to put a jinx on them. Nancy, not being a complete and utter moron, assumes this is Merv Marvel. The kids love the aviary, and Nancy hopes their enthusiasm will convince their grandfather that it's worth keeping.

Nancy's tackled the councillors, but now she wants to talk to the High Rise Construction Company, too. Her and Ned go to the site where the company is currently working, and one of the workers suggests they have look over the river which runs next to the site. Then he pushes them into the river, and they go over a waterfall. Luckily, not only do they survive, but a cop saw them go over, and they get him to arrest the worker who tried to kill them.

Back at the aviary, Rausch tells Nancy that he's just chased off someone who was trying to poison the birds. Upon investigating, Nancy discovers that whoever it was dropped an envelope full of expensive rings. Assuming he'll be back to find his lost jewellry, she contacts the police, who arrive in time to snatch the guy - Slick Fingers O'Malley.

Then, finally, the scene which is on the front cover actually happens. Nancy goes for a stroll around the aviary by herself and Merv Marvel kidnaps her. He's described as tall and handsome. Nancy, isn't it a little early to be suffering from Stokholm Syndrome? Merv admits that he was working for Mr Wright, the boss at the construction company, but he wants to stop because Mr Wright "isn't honest". Slick Fingers was the one that stole the stuffed wryneck, trying to scare Nancy off the case. The fact that she wasn't actually on the case at that point seems to be irrelevent. Merv takes quite a fancy to Nancy, and takes her to an old barn to be initiated into his cult.

Help for Nancy isn't too far away. Ned finds her and Merv's footprints, and Nancy's friends and the police follow them to the barn. Nancy... somehow escapes, and tells the police that Merv clearly needs psychiatric treatment more than he needs jail, and that he's a member of a cult which scams money out of people. This cult thing seems to have come out of nowhere, but whatever, I can role with it. As for what happened to Nancy in the barn - well, who knows what really went on in there? But I imagine it went something like this:



So, to conclude: Mr Wright, of the High Rise Construction Company, employed Slick Finger and Merv Marvel to do his dirty work. He also instructed one of his employees to push Ned and Nancy over that waterfall. Apparently he was involved in the set up of the cult, as a little side project to his fraud and coersion.

The councillors decide to go with another building company, one which doesn't want to condemn the aviary, and Bess and George have magically talked Mrs Thurston out of all of her superstitious beliefs.

Kammy's problems were actually unrelated - a boy that she had been friends with was messing with her, probably because she didn't want to be friends with someone who'd steal her pets and her jewelry as a joke. Nancy apologises for suspecting her, and gives her a kiss. Which is possibly more than she's ever given Ned. I'm just saying.

Case notes:

• Nancy is "an attractive girl of eighteen with blue eyes and reddish-blonde hair." Thank goodness they mentioned she was attractive: I'd hate to think that I was reading about someone who was in any way physically flawed.
• Mr Drew is constantly described as "tall, hands and distinguished-looking". I strongly hope that was just the narrative and not Nancy's thoughts on the subject. I don't want the Drews going all Flowers in the Attic on me.
• I thought I remembered Nancy having a Mustang, but here it's only described as a "convertible".
• When Ned and Nancy speak to one of the councilllors, he thinks they're there to get a marriage license. Ned seems pretty upset that they're not.
• Ned and Nancy are a seriously awesome couple in this book: instead of Ned getting all "I don't want you to get into danger" protector-ish, he admires her for her intelligence and sleuthing abilities.
• Hannah and Nancy also have quite a sweet relationship. Despite effectively being the Drew's servant, Hannah mothers Nancy and encourages her when she's down. Awww.
• Merv Marvel sounds more like a kids' party magician than a professional dancer and part-time spook impersonator.
• One woman Nancy talks to is surprised that such a "lovely and wholesome girl would be trying to track down a criminal".
• Everytime someone brings up a curse, or is cursed, Nancy or one of her friends say, "Of course, we're not superstitious." I'm sure this was probably intended as an Important Message About Superstition for America's Youths, but it comes across more like they're trying to convince themselves of the fact.
• When Kammy thinks she's going to be arrested for being a thief Nancy tells her, "Here in America people are given a chance to prove their innocence before they're arrested." Not like whatever crazy Eurasian country you're from, Kammy!
• There is so, so much information about birds in this book. Someone clearly had a long, hard read of the encyclopaedia before writing it.
• This entire recap is longer than any of the chapters in the book. And ever single chapter ends on a cliffhanger (apart from the last one). No wonder I'm so exhausted after reading it.
• High Rise Construction Company. I know I already made fun of that name, but I think it bares repeating.

The cover:
I've assumed that's Merv Marvel kidnapping Nancy. Nancy's eyes look quite dead, although I suspect that 50 books in she's been kidnapped so often that it doesn't really excite her any more. That also seems like a pretty uncomfortable way to kidnap a person; at any moment Nancy may stop doing jazz hands and poke out one of his eyes. Merv's legs are at a slightly awkward angle, too - they look like they belong on someone else's body. Still, that bird is enjoying Nancy's yellow cardigan and matching shoes.